Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Page 1 of 3 1, 2, 3  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by LeFromage on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 08:19

Back online. Stupid sh!tting bollocks technology and its never-ending list of fixes and cures that don't f*cking work.

Computer decided, on a whim, that it wasn't going to "do" internetting any more. No explanation. No warning. Just, "nope". Been all around the houses trying to get to the bottom of why, without changing a single setting, with a router working perfectly well, with the signal being picked up loud and f*cking clear AND HAVING BEEN MERRILY BROWSING AWAY FOR A FEW HOURS PREVIOUS my beloved Macbook decided the world of the web just wasn't for him and I should concentrate more on playing games and word processing.

Well, I've fixed the f*cker. And, naturally, I'm still no clearer as to why I've been offline for a week. Suspect I've deleted all sorts of vital stuff and changed thousands of random settings that really shouldn't have been changed and the whole thing will explode in a matter of seconds, but I'm online now. Online to say: F*CK YOU, TECHNOLOGY! F*CK YOU IN THE EAR WITH A HAMMER! I WON! (and lost about a week of my life along the way...)
avatar
LeFromage


Number of posts : 26195
Reputation : 425
Registration date : 2007-08-03
Flag/Background : fra

View user profile http://www.flamingbails.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 09:06

Well done. Of course, if you didn't succumb to the ridiculously gimmicky and generally unfriendly technology of Apple you probably wouldn't have had the problem in the first place.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by LeFromage on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 09:09

Oh, puh-lease.

I've had my tower PC in the chop shop in the past six months due to its own sh!tting meltdown.

Computers: who needs them?

I remember the days when all a man required to have a good time was a calculator watch and an assortment of porn found in a field.
avatar
LeFromage


Number of posts : 26195
Reputation : 425
Registration date : 2007-08-03
Flag/Background : fra

View user profile http://www.flamingbails.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 09:18

Dello wrote:
I remember the days when all a man required to have a good time was a calculator watch and an assortment of porn found in a field.

Laughing Laughing Laughing Damn f*cking straight!
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by LeFromage on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:04

No mobile phones, either. When I'm out, I'm out. That's just how it is. Leave a message.

How did we ever cope? Easily, is the answer.
avatar
LeFromage


Number of posts : 26195
Reputation : 425
Registration date : 2007-08-03
Flag/Background : fra

View user profile http://www.flamingbails.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:19

There have been so many times when a portable telephonic instrument has saved my bacon, I cannot agree there.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by mynah on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:45

Dello wrote:Oh, puh-lease.

I've had my tower PC in the chop shop in the past six months due to its own sh!tting meltdown.

There's a pattern emerging...
avatar
mynah



Number of posts : 3385
Reputation : 33
Registration date : 2007-09-04
Flag/Background : saf

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 11:02

Aye, I expect it's his caveman-like understanding of technology. He's a luddite who loves technology... he's a paradox in a sack.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by JKLever on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:30

Brass Monkey wrote:There have been so many times when a portable telephonic instrument has saved my bacon, I cannot agree there.

What like..... 'mate, i'm in the gutter...... come and pick me up, yeah?'
avatar
JKLever


Number of posts : 27232
Reputation : 153
Registration date : 2007-08-06
Flag/Background : eng

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:38

JKLever wrote:
What like..... 'mate, i'm in the gutter...... come and pick me up, yeah?'

Actually it was my mum. I was on a random industrial estate and all of my mates were still f*cked, so the desperation at the fact my knee was f*cked and I was miles from nowhere meant I had to phone mumsy.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by taipan on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:46

mynah wrote:
Dello wrote:Oh, puh-lease.

I've had my tower PC in the chop shop in the past six months due to its own sh!tting meltdown.

There's a pattern emerging...

Would you trust this man to run a cricket forum?
avatar
taipan


Number of posts : 46096
Age : 116
Reputation : 116
Registration date : 2007-08-31
Flag/Background : saf

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by vilkrang on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:24

Brass Monkey wrote:
JKLever wrote:
What like..... 'mate, i'm in the gutter...... come and pick me up, yeah?'

Actually it was my mum. I was on a random industrial estate and all of my mates were still f*cked, so the desperation at the fact my knee was f*cked and I was miles from nowhere meant I had to phone mumsy.
Oh cool. If the official badger line is to admit sh!t like this, then the night I got off at the wrong station on new years eve I phoned my Mum.

Knee wasn't f*cked, but it was the last train and I was in the middle of no where (AKA Arlesey).

vilkrang


Number of posts : 12207
Age : 32
Reputation : 194
Registration date : 2007-09-09
Flag/Background : eng

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:29

Very Happy Arlesey??? F*ck me, I would not have a clue. That must be nowheresville.

TBF, I'd had a bad time of it, bottle and a bit of whiskey, pills, charles, parts of about 30 zoots... woke up at half 6, had to be at work for 8. Of course, I should've pulled a sickie... but thought I'd be cool. Didn't see to matter to me that I was gurning to f*ck, was over familiar with my colleagues and had a big meeting with super-dish-eyes.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by vilkrang on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:32

Laughing Haha. Yeah, no f*cking way I'd go in like that, fair play to you on not taking the day off. My mate did something similar once, I can't even fathom how it's possible.

I've done hungover obviously but never done a multiple come down day.

vilkrang


Number of posts : 12207
Age : 32
Reputation : 194
Registration date : 2007-09-09
Flag/Background : eng

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:40

Aye, TBH I think I'd had too many days off and felt it imperative that I went in. I obviously couldn't drive, so that's when it was my ma or nothing - especially with my knee. She asked no questions. She knew it was my absolute nadir. Still is. Wish I'd never said anything.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Lara Lara Laughs on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 00:53

Brass Monkey wrote:Very Happy Arlesey??? F*ck me, I would not have a clue. That must be nowheresville.

TBF, I'd had a bad time of it, bottle and a bit of whiskey, pills, charles, parts of about 30 zoots... woke up at half 6, had to be at work for 8. Of course, I should've pulled a sickie... but thought I'd be cool. Didn't see to matter to me that I was gurning to f*ck, was over familiar with my colleagues and had a big meeting with super-dish-eyes.

Very Happy

I've done this more than once but with different substances to yours and we didn't sleep at all each time. Worse time was what we fondly call "heart attack day" when we'd been caning some random research chem all night and walked into work on the cusp of a comedown.

I worked at same place as one of the people I did it with but he had the next day off. Gurning, non-stop gibberish and an uncontrollable urge to burst into tears and confess to my boss (madly thinking she'd "let me off for being honest").

The day gained its name because said friend called me a couple of hours in to let me know that he was in hospital having an ECG as his heart was going mental and screaming down the phone that I was going to die if I didn't get to hospital. Cue uncontrollable weeping in the toilet for most of the day whilst convincing myself that "everyone knew" and kept trying to look at my pupils. All while desperately trying to get bits of work done.

We laugh now but truly one of the longest and most horrific days of my life.

The random chem? This - http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2914372/NRG-1-is-25p-a-hit-and-will-kill-many-more-than-meow.html

suicide

(although a lot of that piece is bull).
avatar
Lara Lara Laughs


Number of posts : 8928
Reputation : 16
Registration date : 2007-08-31
Flag/Background : eng

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by embee on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 01:04

"non-stop gibberish and an uncontrollable urge to burst into tears"

...are you still trying to convince us you're not a chick?
avatar
embee


Number of posts : 23249
Age : 50
Reputation : 228
Registration date : 2007-09-03
Flag/Background : aus

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by skully on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 01:07

Brass Monkey wrote:
Dello wrote:
I remember the days when all a man required to have a good time was a calculator watch and an assortment of porn found in a field.

Laughing Laughing Laughing Damn f*cking straight!
Ah, some dinosaurs just like me. Laughing
avatar
skully


Number of posts : 91035
Age : 105
Reputation : 199
Registration date : 2007-08-31
Flag/Background : baggy

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by taipan on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 03:42

embee wrote: "non-stop gibberish and an uncontrollable urge to burst into tears"

...are you still trying to convince us you're not a chick?

Sounds like a normal day for Laura.
avatar
taipan


Number of posts : 46096
Age : 116
Reputation : 116
Registration date : 2007-08-31
Flag/Background : saf

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by skully on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 05:37

[cue the Badger Pack to waltz in to the rescue of the damsel in distress] Twisted Evil
avatar
skully


Number of posts : 91035
Age : 105
Reputation : 199
Registration date : 2007-08-31
Flag/Background : baggy

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 10:57

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
The day gained its name because said friend called me a couple of hours in to let me know that he was in hospital having an ECG as his heart was going mental and screaming down the phone that I was going to die if I didn't get to hospital. Cue uncontrollable weeping in the toilet for most of the day whilst convincing myself that "everyone knew" and kept trying to look at my pupils. All while desperately trying to get bits of work done.

Laughing Heh... aye meowmeow... something to avoid. This cum-swargler started mixing his chan with that... suffice to say I don't really bother any more. Laughing
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 11:01

embee wrote: "non-stop gibberish and an uncontrollable urge to burst into tears"

...are you still trying to convince us you're not a chick?

taipan wrote:
Sounds like a normal day for Laura.

skully wrote:[cue the Badger Pack to waltz in to the rescue of the damsel in distress] Twisted Evil

You old f*ckers... narcotics are different to having a couple of glasses of wine with your f*cking meal.... we don't tell you saggy f*ckers how to do the foxtrot, don't tell us how to be after a good ol' fashioned drug-up.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by JKLever on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 12:43

What is this thread, a competition to see who has thrown the most chemicals down their throat and remain alive?

Bunch of wanqers Very Happy
avatar
JKLever


Number of posts : 27232
Reputation : 153
Registration date : 2007-08-06
Flag/Background : eng

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Brass Monkey on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 13:38

Well, I see it more of a social commentary. The combination of globalisation and greater amalgamation with Europe, mixed with the disenfranchisement that Thatcher brought. We prefer this way to causing affrays with people called Darren and getting the clap off some sket called Tracey.
avatar
Brass Monkey


Number of posts : 44858
Age : 108
Reputation : 413
Registration date : 2007-09-02
Flag/Background : afg

View user profile http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWhbVWj9wQ

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by vilkrang on Thu 12 Jan 2012, 14:32

Mephedrone is f*cking horrible. I had one good night on it and thought "This is the sh!t". Then a few days later I tried it again, couldn't stop taking it despite not getting any sort of high whatsoever after a while, then felt like I was going to have a heart attack for the next 36 hours.

Nasty, nasty sh!t.
JKLever wrote:What is this thread, a competition to see who has thrown the most chemicals down their throat and remained alive?
Fixed. Hot tip, when trying to take the piss out of other people for taking drugs, ensure you have at least a basic capacity for grammar and spelling.

vilkrang


Number of posts : 12207
Age : 32
Reputation : 194
Registration date : 2007-09-09
Flag/Background : eng

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Yeah, you f*cking internet f*cking f*cker from F*cksville...

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 3 1, 2, 3  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum