A cry for help

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A cry for help

Sometimes, I cry for help. It doesn't come. I wonder if I should cry louder or maybe use different sniffling tones. Perhaps more whimpering, like a water vole with his tiny foot caught in a snare. Do they whimper? I'm not up on water voles. I assume they don't roar, but perhaps that's just my ignorance talking. Are water voles related to water buffalos? They're not tiny. It'd be weird if they were related. Then again, my mum's barely five foot, and I'm a hulking six foot three. So I guess there's no rules. Hulking isn't the right word either. Towering. Yeah.

If you've been affected by crying for help or any of the issues raised in this blog, please share your experiences in the comment section. Together we can get through this.

Together we can do anything. Except fly. That remains impossible for humans. But thinking about it, would you really want to? People quickly jump to flight as their preferred super-power of choice, but I don't think it'd be as convenient as they imagine. For kick off, you'd have to be appropriately attired. The sky is cold. That's a scientific fact. So there'd be no spontaneous "oh, I'm just going to zoot from this one place to another, because I feel like it" escapades. Not if you're in your beachwear.

Also, zippable pockets. They're a must. Non-negotiable. Can't have your loose change, keys, wallet, phone (if you're that kind of person) and boiled sweets dropping to earth from thousands of feet, like weaponised debris, threatening the very lives of innocent ground dwellers below. It'd be irresponsible, at the very least.

In summary, take invisibility and go and whack off over a bunch of female celebrities. Literally.

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A cry for help :: Comments

Brass Monkey

Post on Fri 23 Mar 2012, 15:22 by Brass Monkey

Mr. Dello, I am a simple passer-through. I have had a similar cry for help. Mine does involve electrodes on my little pecker but it still produces whimpers and tears. I share your badger-like pain.

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Post on Sat 24 Mar 2012, 11:18 by skully

This show is deep.

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Post on Wed 05 Jun 2013, 22:17 by filosofee

I fly frequently in my dreams, it's a great feeling!

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Post on Tue 11 Jun 2013, 22:00 by PeterCS

Do you get airmiles?

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