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Sports that should be in the Olympics. Push your boundaries.

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lardbucket
Big Dog
skully
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Mick Sawyer
furriner
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beamer
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G.Wood
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Post by PeterCS Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:11

1) Test match cricket.

Current top four according to the Lorgat ratings to play each other once. Two points for a win, -1 for a draw. Three over-23 players allowed.


2) Synchronised fapping.

Points to be awarded for execution, synchonicity, facial expres​sion("gurning") and amount of fluid. Outside the sock = immediate disqualification. Should give Woody a chance to redeem Aus's showing in these Games.


3) Synchronised skikking (on similar lines).


Others?
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Post by Brass Monkey Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:20

4) Jesus loving. See who can love Jesus the most. Heard Iraq's keen and wants to send out a team.

5) Kraftwerk Origami. Whoever makes four members the quickest wins. Extra points for an outstanding Klaus Dinger.

6. Handshaking. Points for grip, intent, regional awareness and rhythmic technique.
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Post by Brass Monkey Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:27

7) Cereal eating. Gallons of milk poured into a bathful of mixed cereal. Bonus points for extra Shredded Wheat.

8 ) KD Lang Garden Hopping. You hop her garden until she catches you.

9) Inner City Sumo. Fat schleps from the worst of areas battle it out in glass-strewn car parks.
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Post by G.Wood Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:30

Brass Monkey wrote:4) Jesus loving. See who can love Jesus the most. Heard Iraq's keen and wants to send out a team.

5) Kraftwerk Origami. Whoever makes four members the quickest wins. Extra points for an outstanding Klaus Dinger.


I am struggling to see the difference in these two
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Post by Brass Monkey Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:33

They've known about Jesus in Iraq for a while whereas Kraftwerk's fresh as a daisy over there.
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Post by Zat Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:37

Nobel prizefighting. Nobel Lauretes are paired up by random draw and try to punch the living suitcase out of each other in a knockout tournament.

Cockfighting. A lot like Olympic Badminton, except every team us trying to win every match.

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Post by beamer Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:38

Chav shooting. Put some of our scummier towns on the map as Olympic venues...

Pub decathlon. Darts, pool, skittles, poker, pint downing etc... guaranteed British success!

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Post by Zat Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:40

Somnambulist athletics. Dose up competitors on Stilnox and see which of them can complete various events while still sleeping. Thinking here of the 100 metres on the track, in the pool, through highway traffic, off a cliff...

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Post by bodyline Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:41

Wet Tshirt comp

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Post by bodyline Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:41

Midget throwing

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Post by beamer Wed 01 Aug 2012, 23:43

bodyline wrote:Midget throwing
Yeah, Mike Tindall deserves a chance to join his wife in winning an Olympic medal I suppose. More chance than in rugby anyway!

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Post by furriner Thu 02 Aug 2012, 01:50

Shooting people you don't like, while they desperately struggle to escape from their chains. Set to the music of ABBA.
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Post by G.Wood Thu 02 Aug 2012, 01:57

what does the second bloke do after the first one has shot horace?
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Post by Mick Sawyer Thu 02 Aug 2012, 03:08

G.Wood wrote:what does the second bloke do after the first one has shot horace?

Easy. The second guy gets first pick of orifices.
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Post by furriner Thu 02 Aug 2012, 03:28

G.Wood wrote:what does the second bloke do after the first one has shot horace?

Mick Sawyer wrote:
G.Wood wrote:what does the second bloke do after the first one has shot horace?

Easy. The second guy gets first pick of orifices.

No you fools, the second bloke is tac.
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Post by tricycle Thu 02 Aug 2012, 03:51

Bare bum anthill sitting competition

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Post by skully Thu 02 Aug 2012, 05:33

Cockroach snorting.
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Post by Big Dog Thu 02 Aug 2012, 08:47

Farnarkling.....you know it has to be.
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Post by lardbucket Fri 03 Aug 2012, 09:18

custard knitting

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Post by JGK Sat 15 Jun 2019, 06:12

Apparently, there is a new rule that the Olympics can now only be staged in July and August due to US TV scheduling.  Makes it tough for many  Southern Hemisphere nations to stage it.

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Post by horace Sat 15 Jun 2019, 07:43

JGK wrote:Apparently, there is a new rule that the Olympics can now only be staged in July and August due to US TV scheduling.  Makes it tough for many  Southern Hemisphere nations to stage it.

Trumped
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Post by skully Sat 15 Jun 2019, 09:53

JGK wrote:Apparently, there is a new rule that the Olympics can now only be staged in July and August due to US TV scheduling.  Makes it tough for many  Southern Hemisphere nations to stage it.

No wonder everyone hates the Yanks.
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Post by skully Sat 15 Jun 2019, 09:54

And what a great thread. Geez this place use to rock once.
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Post by horace Sat 15 Jun 2019, 22:55

skully wrote:And what a great thread. Geez this place use to rock once.

aye Skully. Embarassed
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Post by skully Wed 19 Jun 2019, 15:45

Burt.
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