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Post by lardbucket on Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:19 am

Surely that's 'back in the USSR', horrie. Clever parody by John of Brian, Dennis et al, 'come and keep your comrades warm'.




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Post by PeterCS on Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:08 pm

No Pom interest in Porn.

According to the International Business News, whatever that is.

Whereas Milan is supposedly "the onanism capital of the world."

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/427961/20130125/youporn-stats-uk-italy-kardashian.htm


(I was looking for this http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/428300/20130127/aung-san-suu-kyi-buddhist-burma-desert.htm , honest.)

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Post by PeterCS on Fri Feb 01, 2013 4:05 am

The Israelis will be shittn themselves:


*Israel must withdraw all settlers or face ICC, says UN report*
UN Human Rights Council says Israel is in violation of Geneva convention


http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jan/31/israel-must-withdraw-settlers-icc?CMP=twt_gu
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Post by WideWally on Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:46 pm

Dodgy decision in favour of SBW

From NineMSN




SBW claims controversial boxing win
Laine Clark

22:56 AEST Fri Feb 8 2013

Boos drowned out Sonny Bill Williams despite the code hopper technically claiming the biggest scalp in his fledgling boxing career in Brisbane on Friday night.
Former All Black Williams (6-0) somehow emerged a unanimous points winner in his WBA international heavyweight title fight with Francois Botha (48-9) despite appearing to have been trampled by the South African bruiser dubbed "the White Buffalo".
Botha, 44, showed all the experience that had led him to world title fights with boxing's who's who including the likes of Lennox Lewis, Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield.
Yet despite battering Williams throughout their 12 round bout, Botha suffered the ninth loss in his 60 pro fights - much to the disgust of the packed Brisbane Entertainment Centre crowd.
Williams, 27, was almost booed out of the ring after officials somehow awarded the fight to the Sydney Roosters NRL star 97-91, 98-94 and 97-91.
Williams had threatened to give up the sport if he was knocked out by Botha.
But it appears Williams' boxing options are limited despite somehow
emerging triumphant from his "victory" over the hard-hitting Botha.


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Post by WideWally on Sat Feb 09, 2013 2:09 am

Of course, it might have been the reporter that was biased.
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Post by Big Dog on Sat Feb 09, 2013 7:20 am

WideWally wrote:Of course, it might have been the reporter that was biased.

SBW got some good shots in early in the fight but he could hardly stand by the end.
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Post by Basil on Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:05 am

From Monday's Worcester News:

TRAINS travelling through Worcester had an unscheduled stop after an unfortunate signalman got stuck in the toilet.

Passengers found themselves being held up at the Henwick signal box in St John’s on Wednesday afternoon after the man who was meant to be controlling the signals made an ill-fated dash to a Victorian outdoor toilet.

The disruption was publicly announced as “signalling problems”, but one mischievous web forum user lifted the lid on what really happened when he posted Network Rail’s official incident log.

It shows that trains were being forced to stop at Henwick after all contact was lost with the signalman.

The driver of the 15:13 Hereford to London service is then reported to have got out of his train and walked to the signalbox to see if he could sniff out the problem.

The next update simply states: “Local operations manager is on site and the signaller is stuck in the toilet.”

Network Rail apologised for the “unfortunate incident”.

“Much of the railway is still controlled from Victorian signal boxes, which often have outside loos,” a spokesman said. “Our plans to modernise the railway will see control moved to state-of-the-art regional control centres, where unfortunate incidents such as this simply wouldn’t be an issue. We apologise to anyone whose journey was delayed or disrupted.”
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Post by PeterCS on Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:01 am

Signal failure indeed.

'How a motion caused a standstill.'
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Post by baggygreen on Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:04 pm

In other words, that guys job is about to become redundant anyway.
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Post by PeterCS on Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:14 pm

Flushed away.
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Post by mynah on Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:16 pm

At least the rail traffic got constipated, rather than all rushing to the same tunnel into the bowels of the earth...

Probably not the first signalman whose job had a shit ending...
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Post by PeterCS on Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:51 am

Chubby Checker sues HP over Dick-Measuring App

A lawyer acting for Chubby Checker -- the musical giant behind "The Twist" -- has announced a lawsuit against expanding tech-giant Hewlett-Packard for using the singer's name for a penis-measuring app.

In a statement this week, attorney Willie Gary said the suit named HP and its subsidiary Palm, for marketing the software application without permission.

The suit, filed in a Florida federal court, seeks $500 million in damages.

According to Gary, it alleges the app "adversely affects Chubby's brand and value... and will tarnish his hard-earned image that he has been working on continuously over the last 50 years."

"We cannot lie back and watch as technology giants or anyone else milk the fruits of an innocent person's labor with the goal of making millions of dollars," he added.

"The defendants are mishandling Chubby's name on their product to gain a huge swelling profit and this just isn't right."

The "Chubby Checker" app, which appears on websites for Palm devices, claims to allow a person to determine a man's penis size by using his shoe size.

Checker, 71, is best known for his 1960 hit "The Twist" which spawned a dance craze during the decade that followed.
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Post by PeterCS on Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:58 am

Experts tell flatulent flyers: let rip!

A group of medical specialists has provided an answer to a dilemma that has faced flyers since the Wright brothers took to the air in 1903 -- is it okay to fart mid-flight?

The experts' recommendation is an emphatic yes to airline passengers -- but a warning to cockpit crews that breaking wind could distract the pilot and pose a safety risk.

The study concluded that anecdotal evidence that flying increases flatulence is not hot air, finding that changes in air pressure at altitude result in the gut producing more gas.

When Danish gastroenterologist Jacob Rosenberg encountered the malodorous problem first-hand on a flight from Copenhagen to Tokyo, he enlisted some of the finest minds in his field to address the issue.

The result was an in-depth review of scientific literature on flatulence, looking at issues such as whether women's farts smell worse than men's (yes), what causes the odour (sulphur) and how often the average person passes wind every day (10).

The bottom line, according to the 3,000-word study published in the New Zealand Medical Journal on Friday, is that airline passengers should ignore the social embarrassment of breaking wind and "just let it go".

"(Holding back) holds significant drawbacks for the individual, such as discomfort and even pain, bloating, dyspepsia (indigestion), pyrosis (heartburn) just to name but a few resulting abdominal symptoms," the study found.

"Moreover, problems resulting from the required concentration to maintain such control may even result in subsequent stress symptoms."

The authors -- five gastroenterologists from Denmark and Britain -- said that while passengers may experience poor service from the cabin crew as a result of their decision, the health benefits outweighed any negative impacts.

However, they said the cockpit crew faced a lose-lose situation.

"On the one hand, if the pilot restrains a fart, all the drawbacks previously mentioned, including impaired concentration, may affect his abilities to control the plane," the researchers said.

"On the other hand, if he lets go of the fart, his co-pilot may be affected by its odour, which again reduces safety onboard the flight."
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Post by PeterCS on Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:03 am

Re Chubby Checker.

Surely that would be a better app for girls?
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Post by lardbucket on Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:33 am

PeterCS wrote:Experts tell flatulent flyers: let rip!

A group of medical specialists has provided an answer to a dilemma that has faced flyers since the Wright brothers took to the air in 1903 -- is it okay to fart mid-flight?

The experts' recommendation is an emphatic yes to airline passengers -- but a warning to cockpit crews that breaking wind could distract the pilot and pose a safety risk.

The study concluded that anecdotal evidence that flying increases flatulence is not hot air, finding that changes in air pressure at altitude result in the gut producing more gas.

When Danish gastroenterologist Jacob Rosenberg encountered the malodorous problem first-hand on a flight from Copenhagen to Tokyo, he enlisted some of the finest minds in his field to address the issue.

The result was an in-depth review of scientific literature on flatulence, looking at issues such as whether women's farts smell worse than men's (yes), what causes the odour (sulphur) and how often the average person passes wind every day (10).

The bottom line, according to the 3,000-word study published in the New Zealand Medical Journal on Friday, is that airline passengers should ignore the social embarrassment of breaking wind and "just let it go".

"(Holding back) holds significant drawbacks for the individual, such as discomfort and even pain, bloating, dyspepsia (indigestion), pyrosis (heartburn) just to name but a few resulting abdominal symptoms," the study found.

"Moreover, problems resulting from the required concentration to maintain such control may even result in subsequent stress symptoms."

The authors -- five gastroenterologists from Denmark and Britain -- said that while passengers may experience poor service from the cabin crew as a result of their decision, the health benefits outweighed any negative impacts.

However, they said the cockpit crew faced a lose-lose situation.

"On the one hand, if the pilot restrains a fart, all the drawbacks previously mentioned, including impaired concentration, may affect his abilities to control the plane," the researchers said.

"On the other hand, if he lets go of the fart, his co-pilot may be affected by its odour, which again reduces safety onboard the flight."

fly and let fly then

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Post by PeterCS on Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:37 am

Or in Bond mode

Live and let fly ...
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Post by Big Dog on Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:23 pm

Hav'nt the Japs recently invented odour eating undies?..now if they could just invent some with a built-in muffler.
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Post by PeterCS on Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:21 am

In fairness, if the stench were suppressed, the battle would be as good as won.

The rip would be acceptable without the roar.
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Post by PeterCS on Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:45 am

Jellyfish Sting Ends Swimmer's Record Attempt
In other news .... - Page 2 Sky_174244  Sky News – 14 hours ago

In other news .... - Page 2 Url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=PZNepoaCkyl3nM&tbnid=2cldCFJ6pmJx2M:&ved=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.goIn other news .... - Page 2 Url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=PZNepoaCkyl3nM&tbnid=2cldCFJ6pmJx2M:&ved=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.goIn other news .... - Page 2 Ap_chloe_mccardel_dm_130613_wg


Endurance swimmer Chloe McCardel has ended her attempt to swim from Cuba to Florida due to a "debilitating" jellyfish sting.

The Australian was trying to become the first person to swim 103 miles across the Straits of Florida non-stop without a shark cage.


It is the fifth failure involving three women swimmers who have tried to make the marathon swim since 2011.


Her support team released a statement saying she had been taken on to one of her support vessels after 11 hours in the water.McCardel, a 28-year-old from Melbourne, had hoped to complete the swim in about 60 hours.[/i]



It could have been worse.
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Post by PeterCS on Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:47 am

Clown wins lawsuit over mag's drug addict jibe
In other news .... - Page 2 Afp4By AFP | AFP – Wed, Jun 12, 2013


A clown won a lawsuit against the South African edition of men's magazine FHM after the publication printed his picture with a report likening his profession to cross-dressing drug addicts.


FHM used in its December 2007 issue a stock image of Puddles the Clown alongside an article branding clowns "grown men with long-term tik (drug) habits, dressed like transvestites from hell".


A South African court found the magazine had used the picture "intentionally and maliciously", reported the Cape Times on Thursday.


It granted Puddles, whose real name is Norman Pudney, 60,000 rands ($6,000, 4,600 euro) in damages.


His lawyer argued the photo alone was not defamatory, but may have portrayed the children's performer in a bad light in the context.
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Post by horace on Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:14 am

so Taips is a Norman and not a Nigel
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Post by tricycle on Sat Jun 22, 2013 4:20 pm

link

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Post by skully on Sat Jun 22, 2013 6:45 pm

Awesome. Offering up some pussy will always calm the boys down. Cool
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Post by lardbucket on Sat Jun 22, 2013 7:03 pm

Four Days Of Play?

or

Days of Fore Play?

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Post by taipan on Tue Jun 25, 2013 4:26 pm

Only in Sweden
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