The Friday Funny

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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by Big Dog on Thu 01 Dec 2016, 06:41

Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by horace on Thu 01 Dec 2016, 07:15

Great joke.
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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by Big Dog on Thu 01 Dec 2016, 07:35

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by lardbucket on Tue 25 Apr 2017, 06:29

Subject: Rugby Test Tickets

A great offer. If anyone can take it up let me know !!!

This may be of interest to some of you. A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for the final Lions Test in Auckland on 8th July. He paid $1000 each (incl food & beverages) but what he didn't realise when he bought the tickets some months ago was that it was going to be the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place!

It's at the All Saints Church Palmerston North at 2.30pm Sat July 8th .The bride's name is Nicole -- she's 5'8", about 9 stone (57 Kg), quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook ! Shell be the one in the white dress.


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116 - 9- 400 - 4

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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by taipan on Mon 18 Sep 2017, 11:49


Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.

Tom wanted two things:
To learn how to invest his inheritance and find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

I may look like just an ordinary man, he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men..........................
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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by tricycle on Tue 19 Sep 2017, 16:35

Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Teresa?
Dad: Because mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter.
Son: Cool. Thanks.
Dad: No problem, Alan.

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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by skully on Tue 19 Sep 2017, 21:13

analprobe
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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by Growler on Wed 20 Sep 2017, 00:04

Bride is in the car with Dad on the way to the wedding, but she's very nervous, and can't remember the order of service etc.

Dad says - it's easy to remember .....

First of all, I walk with you up the aisle -

We stop at the altar -

And then we sing the first hymn.

Got it, she says just as they arrive.

Meanwhile, the groom is waiting, and the music begins to announce the arrival of the bride.

Imagine his thoughts as she gets closer, and he hears

Aisle ... altar ... hymn, aisle ... altar ... hymn
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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by Growler on Wed 20 Sep 2017, 00:15

But after 10 years of marriage, they're doing the supermarket shop. He puts a case of beer in the trolley & she asks "what d'you think you're doing with that?"

" It's on offer - 24 cans for just a tenner" "We can't afford it, put 'em back" she says, but a few aisles further on she picks up a jar of 20 face cream and puts it in the trolley.

When he asks "what's that?" she replies "that's my face cream, it makes me look beautiful"

"24 cans of ale do exactly the same thing, and they're half the price ........"
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Re: The Friday Funny

Post by Big Dog on Wed 20 Sep 2017, 07:48

Growler wrote:But after 10 years of marriage, they're doing the supermarket shop. He puts a case of beer in the trolley & she asks "what d'you think you're doing with that?"

" It's on offer - 24 cans for just a tenner" "We can't afford it, put 'em back" she says, but a few aisles further on she picks up a jar of 20 face cream and puts it in the trolley.

When he asks "what's that?" she replies "that's my face cream, it makes me look beautiful"

"24 cans of ale do exactly the same thing, and they're half the price ........"

Never underestimate the value of Beer Goggles. Laughing
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Re: The Friday Funny

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