Killing black people because they're black

Oh come on, you didn't really think this would be a serious thread, did you? Now, I was hoping any of you creative peoples could help come up with some torture techniques to use in a piece of writing I am currently involved in. I have researched things like the brazen bull and scaphism, and whilst they're suitably vile and disgusting, I'm sure the collective depravity of four Australians and a Pom can do better than that. I classify each technique differently, with some mild techniques (like throwing somebody in a pit of nettles - yummy) to the more extreme ones mentioned above. But I want some variety. My torturer is going to be full on vile.

Tying him to a chair and forcing him to watch a Geoff Boycott- Chris Tavare triple century stand.

How about gouging eyesballs out with a teaspoon?

Tie a guy to a chair and slide chaps todger between two floury baps and shout out 'here fido, dinners ready'.

Or something like that...

What a horrible thread.

Take your trousers and pants off, vilks, and go and stand in front of a mirror. Those protrusions around your penis are called testicles, in case you were wondering what they were. They make you a man. For millenia, being a man has been about perversion and violence. The male of the species is a feral beast ever more confined in a world softened up by the silly touch of women. Obviously, there are guys like you who are out of touch with their inner beast and need polite reminders every now and again before they curl up into a big vagina, but meanwhile, myself and the blokes plus the cool girls like eowyn will continue to discuss torture and how interesting an art form it is when one really delves deep enough into it.

I think Vilks was being sarcastic, Chiv.


Something men also understand is sarcasm.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Take your trousers and pants off, vilks, and go and stand in front of a mirror. Those protrusions around your penis are called testicles, in case you were wondering what they were. They make you a man. For millenia, being a man has been about perversion and violence. The male of the species is a feral beast ever more confined in a world softened up by the silly touch of women. Obviously, there are guys like you who are out of touch with their inner beast and need polite reminders every now and again before they curl up into a big vagina, but meanwhile, myself and the blokes plus the cool girls like eowyn will continue to discuss torture and how interesting an art form it is when one really delves deep enough into it.

Fine, cheese grater on the c*ck then.

Of course, vilks is renowned for his stunning use of the high brow linguistic device that is sarcasm, whilst I am likewise of significant reputation in intuitive interpretation of sarcasm in written form.

Well if you put it like that...who can argue?


Hand in a paper shredder.

I still say Gus needs to discover things called Paragraphs...

DJ_Smerk wrote:Well if you put it like that...who can argue?


Hand in a paper shredder.

H&S at work regs make that impossible.

Tip fire ants into any orifice and then close off said orifice.

JKLever wrote:I still say Gus needs to discover things called Paragraphs...

I'm surprised they have paragraphs on your widescreen monitor. I suppose you're a proponent of the two-line paragraph now, are you?

eowyn wrote:

DJ_Smerk wrote:Well if you put it like that...who can argue?


Hand in a paper shredder.

H&S at work regs make that impossible.

Tip fire ants into any orifice and then close off said orifice.

This person obviously didn't follow H&S.

Not for the faint of heart.

H&S means the gaps in paper shredders aren't big enough for hands to enter.

Hacking off testicles with rusty, blunt scissors.

Watching a replay of England V Germany

Basil wrote:Watching a replay of England V Germany

You've gone too far.

this augustus guy is becoming strange as hell...

Ah, the Gus we know is back. At his attention-whoring 'best'.

If I wanted attention I'd hire an escort and end the night with her on all fours, cucumbers and bottles laid out before her whilst she sucked . . . that'll do. Personally, I'm the kind of forummer who likes to be a contradiction, an anachronism, and a constant source of annoyance and depravity. Unfortunately, people view this as a deliberate attempt at attention seeking. Take this thread title - I was hoping some blackie lover would get seriously pissed off. Didn't happen, shame. But that's how it goes. However, the thread content is perfectly legitimate. I've been writing for a long while now and am engaged in a few torture scenes currently. But I want them to be really good, really disturbing, and most of all I want to manifest in my scene the worst side of humanity. Please bear in mind that modern instruments cannot be used as the only tools at my torturer's disposal are archaic.

On that note, GET THIS THREAD BACK ON F*CKING TOPIC YOU FOETID C*NTS.

You'd hire an escort?

I think the exhausts would be too wide for you, Chiv.

Basil wrote:Watching a replay of England V Germany

Whilst strapped to a bed naked and about to get ravaged by Angela Merkel?

I worry about you, Lever.

DJ_Smerk wrote:You'd hire an escort?

Nah, make it an Audi Quattro

Make them read merlin posts.