The Flaming Bails Blog

The other morning (*cough* early afternoon) I awoke to find, upon lethargically teasing the curtains back to confront the horrible, horrible daylight, a back garden strewn with cascading feathers. Initially, I thought they might be fluffy blossom from the neighbours', erm, fluffy blossom tree (horticulture is not my specialist subject. I'm not even sure horticulture is the right word I'm looking for. That's how unspecialist a subject it is. Botony, perhaps. Plants and all that jazz.) but upon further, reluctant, inspection they were, indeed, bird debris.

My neighbourhood has a lot of...

Hey guys, i'm not sure how many people would be interested but i made this for myself and thought i'd share. Like many of you i visit FB while at work and am wary of people walking by looking at what i'm browsing. In this respect FB is not the most inconspicuous so i decided to make to make use of an extension available on both Firefox and Chrome called stylish and created my own stylesheet. Here is what it should look like (i haven't tested it on anything other than my own Firefox):

So how do these things work? I just tell the world what's going on? Look at me, look at me??

Got up, went to work, logged onto Flaming Bails, did some work, posted some shit on Flaming Bails, went home, did the same stuff at home.

Am I expected to make an entry every day?

I had a good shit this morning but didn't pop any pimples. Is this the sort of gear one blogs about?

What, what, WHAT????

I got a present of a tin of Quality Street last Xmas and there were no orange creams in there. I emailed them to complain and I got sent 5 tins free!! Shortly afterwards I realised they'd just repackaged the orange creams and there were indeed some in the tin. Honest mistake though.

I also put a fly in a meat pie a while back and and wrote to them complaining I had found a fly in one of their pies, horror horror!!! - and they sent me 20 pies!!


OH. BlOg. I thought this was a place for blAgs.

Sometimes, I cry for help. It doesn't come. I wonder if I should cry louder or maybe use different sniffling tones. Perhaps more whimpering, like a water vole with his tiny foot caught in a snare. Do they whimper? I'm not up on water voles. I assume they don't roar, but perhaps that's just my ignorance talking. Are water voles related to water buffalos? They're not tiny. It'd be weird if they were related. Then again, my mum's barely five foot, and I'm a hulking six foot three. So I guess there's no rules. Hulking isn't the right word either. Towering. Yeah.

If you've been affected...

Mr Pickering, you are most welcome.

It couldn't punch its way out of a non-existent paper bag.

or whatever it says.

Anyone clicked it?

Add your thoughts on the subtle or not-so-subtle art of schlong bashing and boatman diddling here.