Extract from a 1950's women's magazine

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:13

Always knew I was born too late.

“When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train, but remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair rollers, wait until he is asleep before doing so, as it can be shocking for a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband, it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular, your commitment to obey him.

“If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately afterwards, then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes. Do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress, then, agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

“Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by maintaining silence. It is likely that your husband will fall promptly asleep after relations have concluded, so once he is fast asleep, adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products.

You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.”

by Batman Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:40

So the truth is finally out. You are one old woman in reality?
Wink

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:41

I thought it was humerous, which explains why you didn't get it.

by Batman Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:43

taipan wrote:I thought it was humerous, which explains why you didn't get it.

Still doesn't explain your fetish for really dated women's magazines?
Laughing

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:46

I thought you might have learnt some wisdom during your extended flounce.

Sadly I was mistaken

by Batman Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:50

The wisdom of deciding what is more funny? The article itself or the fact that you are reading up women's mags? I think the second one is more funny.

Laughing

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:52

You see the rating system is still working?

by Batman Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:55

I can only see your infantile need to use that in your case. Anyways thanks for giving me the laugh of the morning.

Hardy Har har!

by skully Tue 11 Jan 2011, 07:57

Ah, just like old times. A Dikas v taips sh!tfest. cheers

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:07

Actually Skulls, I happy for him that he has finally found a new job. Can't be that easy in India.

by skully Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:10

Does he mention a new job? I have him on ignore so I was assuming the exchange was a sh!tfest. snigger

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:12

Well just before his flounce over the elder business, he claimed he had resigned and was striking out on his own.

by skully Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:13

Really? Does bad stand-up comedy pay well in Bannietown?

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:16

As he wasn't posting I guess his PC was repossessed, so logically he must now have a new job.

by skully Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:17

Well, all I can say is welcome back, Vikas ol' bean. The place could do with some more chuckles.

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:19

Well you would have to take him off ignore

by skully Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:20

No I wouldn't.

by taipan Tue 11 Jan 2011, 08:21

When you going home?

by Fred Nerk Tue 11 Jan 2011, 10:39

Yeah, Batters always makes me want to chuckle.

Frinstance after reading the Socratic wonder that is this thread, I immediately felt like chuckling my dinner......

by skully Tue 11 Jan 2011, 11:36

taipan wrote:When you going home?

This Friday morning for the Chief's chemo.

by furriner Tue 11 Jan 2011, 14:01

Funny $hit in the OP.

by Zat Tue 11 Jan 2011, 20:36

Not according to the forum's King of comedy capers.

by lardbucket Fri 14 Jan 2011, 10:39

furriner wrote:Funny $hit in the OP.

Although it doesn't mention the woman's obligation to finish the ironing before making the husband's morning cuppa ... perhaps that's just assumed.

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