Ponting Mocks India

or so the Times of India tells it's readers. Been looking through the quotes provided and can't find anything even resembling mockery . . . .

http://cricket.indiatimes.com/Ponting_mocks_Indias_meek_surrender/articleshow/2660728.cms

The fact that five minutes have passed since your post and we still haven't heard from the dreaded Mudge-packer, measures the cred in the story as much as anything.

Here's every Ponting quote from the article:

"We have not one but five or six plans against each batsman for different conditions and in different scenarios. That's the beauty of technology. The way our plan came off at the MCG, I would say that we have really been well prepared,"

"It was a kind of pitch which was more sub-continental type, more foreign to us. Here in Australia we are looking to blast sides out,"

"Here we needed to do things differently and I am glad we were able to do it so well. After the first day's play the match was 50-50 so to come out with a 337-run win over India in such conditions was extremely satisfying,"

"I was expecting it to be hard work. We knew today was a really hot day and it would have been hard for the boys to come back tomorrow."

"I was particularly worried about Dravid and VVS Laxman as they are able to bat for longer periods of time. We showed discipline and that's why we keep the good results coming in all conditions. If we have to adapt and adjust, we do it well,"

"Our bowling was outstanding. Clark built pressure like he always does; Lee is getting better and better while Mitchell (Johnson) is improving over by over. He kept the Indians quiet and struggling, I think it created apprehension in the minds of other batsmen,"

"In the first innings, he [Hogg] knocked Ganguly out with one of the best flippers you would ever see. He got another great wicket of Yuvraj with another great flipper in the second knock."

The esteemed journal the article appeared in is obviously hoping the semi-literate will read the headline and not bother going through the rest.

HEADLINE WRITING 101

"We have not one but five or six plans against each batsman for different conditions and in different scenarios. That's the beauty of technology. (PONTING CALLS INDIAN CRICKET 'BACKWARD)The way our plan came off at the MCG, I would say that we have really been well prepared,"(PONTING: INDIAND DIDN"T DO HOMEWORK)

"It was a kind of pitch which was more sub-continental type, more foreign to us. Here in Australia we are looking to blast sides out, (PONTING: WE EVEN MADE THEIR BACKYARD)"

"Here we needed to do things differently and I am glad we were able to do it so well. (PONTING SLAMS ONE-NOTE JOHNNIES) After the first day's play the match was 50-50 so to come out with a 337-run win over India in such conditions was extremely satisfying," (PONTING TO INDIANS: TESTS LONGER THAN ODI'S)

"I was expecting it to be hard work. (PONTING: INDIANS TANKED) We knew today was a really hot day and it would have been hard for the boys to come back tomorrow."

"I was particularly worried about Dravid and VVS Laxman as they are able to bat for longer periods of time. We showed discipline and that's why we keep the good results coming in all conditions. If we have to adapt and adjust, we do it well," (PONTING: LAX, RAHUL FAILED INDIA)

"Our bowling was outstanding. Clark built pressure like he always does; Lee is getting better and better while Mitchell (Johnson) is improving over by over. He kept the Indians quiet and struggling, I think it created apprehension in the minds of other batsmen," (PONTING: INDIANS GUTLESS)

"In the first innings, he [Hogg] knocked Ganguly out with one of the best flippers you would ever see. He got another great wicket of Yuvraj with another great flipper in the second knock." (HOGG NEW WARNE: PONTING)

Superb stuff FN.

But you got it all wrong. Here's the true version:


"We have not one but five or six plans against each batsman for different conditions and in different scenarios. That's the beauty of technology. (POMTING DISCOVERS THE PAUSE AND REPLAY BUTTON ON HIS TV) The way our plan came off at the MCG, I would say that we have really been well prepared.

"It was a kind of pitch which was more sub-continental type, more foreign to us. Here in Australia we are looking to blast sides out" (PONTING BELIEVES MELBOURNE TO BE A FOREIGN COUNTRY)

"Here we needed to do things differently and I am glad we were able to do it so well. (THE IDIOT CAN THINK!) After the first day's play the match was 50-50 so to come out with a 337-run win over India in such conditions was extremely satisfying," (PONTING DAZZLES ALL, INCLUDING BEAMING CRICKET AUSTRALIA, WITH NEWLY DISCOVERED BASIC MATH SKILLS)

"I was expecting it to be hard work. We knew today was a really hot day and it would have been hard for the boys to come back tomorrow." (TEMPERATURE 49 DEGREES, PONTING THINKS IT IS A HOT DAY)

"Our bowling was outstanding. Clark built pressure like he always does; Lee is getting better and better while Mitchell (Johnson) is improving over by over. He kept the Indians quiet and struggling, I think it created apprehension in the minds of other batsmen". (PONTING APPREHENSIVE THAT SECOND HEAD MAY BE ABLE TO THINK, BUT STRUGGLING TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT IT)

"In the first innings, he knocked Ganguly out with one of the best flippers you would ever see. He got another great wicket of Yuvraj with another great flipper in the second knock." (PONTING BELIEVES WARNE HAS LOST WEIGHT BUT TONGUE MAY STICK OUT ALARMINGLY)

A poor imitation of Nerky's genius . . .

What a 'quality' thread.

FWIW - Ponting now drops to No 3 Test batsman behind Sanga and Jackie. Hussey up to 4.

Stuart Clark is now No 2 bowler and will only get better as he plays more tests.

JGK wrote:

Stuart Clark is now No 2 bowler and will only get better as he plays more tests.

Shame that Clark did nothing when he played for us.....

Rob I wrote:

JGK wrote:

Stuart Clark is now No 2 bowler and will only get better as he plays more tests.

Shame that Clark did nothing when he played for us.....

I just hope Doug Bollinger doesn't follow suit.

Rob I wrote:

JGK wrote:

Stuart Clark is now No 2 bowler and will only get better as he plays more tests.

Shame that Clark did nothing when he played for us.....

So sue him.

Basil wrote:

Rob I wrote:

JGK wrote:

Stuart Clark is now No 2 bowler and will only get better as he plays more tests.

Shame that Clark did nothing when he played for us.....

I just hope Doug Bollinger doesn't follow suit.

Bubbles is one of the form bowlers in the Pura Cup this season.

JGK wrote:

Basil wrote:

Rob I wrote:

JGK wrote:

Stuart Clark is now No 2 bowler and will only get better as he plays more tests.

Shame that Clark did nothing when he played for us.....

I just hope Doug Bollinger doesn't follow suit.

Bubbles is one of the form bowlers in the Pura Cup this season.

So I see

He's also saying we can produce 'little India' in Australia with our pitches and still beat you. We're mocking you by giving you pitches you want and then thumping you!!!

Ponting should have mentioned that he only score 7 runs in the match and India were still humiliated.

Indeed he has a magnificent series after series after series track record of single handedly winning games against India. So he should have mentioned that surprising 7.

I don't think ponting needs to get into a battle of words with harbi.

harbi did a good enough job making a fool of himself with some of his comments after day 3.

Ah but Ponting is Ponting. And a great batsman getting into an war of words with an average to decent bowler is always funny.

furry, it's even funnier when an average to decent bowler starts a war of words with a great batsman!

At one stage I think SRT was Hansie Cronje's bunny.

the turgidinator was the fourth best Indian player in the match after violet, khan and srt...i think he took 3 wickets for plenty...he has never been the same since they advised him to bowl

I'm not Singh's bunny: Ponting


Malcolm Conn | December 31, 2007

After dismissing Ponting cheaply to claim his 250th wicket last Friday, Harbhajan was asked what his advantage was over Ponting.

"He hasn't batted long enough against me, so I don't know," Harbhajan said.
:laule: :laule:

Red wrote:We're mocking you by giving you pitches you want and then thumping you!!!

We want fast bouncy pitches with the ball coming on to the bat nicely. Do you even realise how mediocre our home test performances have been in recent years?