Modern life made me a racist.

I had "lunch" in a well known motorway "food" establishment today.

Sat opposite was a chap of possibly middle eastern descent. Possibly. But he wasn't eating. Or drinking. He was just staring intently at his rucksack, placed in front of him on the table. Occasionally he'd motion a hand towards the bag, only to quickly pull it back - as though he couldn't quite go through with whatever he was doing.

This went on for about an hour. Obviously, being British, the nagging thought that he might (but probably not. But, what if...?) be a suicide bomber wasn't enough to move me to speak up or complain or even get up and leave. No, the overriding thought was what a lousy final meal this was going to be as I grudgingly went through the motions, resigned to my fate.

I didn't even bother to ponder the ways in which I'd wasted my life. I've done enough of that over the years. I just regretted not ordering the side dish of onion rings as they cost a bit extra and always sound nicer than they actually are. Maybe today, of all days, I should've just taken a chance...

As it turns out, he was reading a Kindle, propped up against his bag.

But it was probably some terrorism shit.

Probably.

Oh yeah, I'm all racial. I'm all like 'there's a shit driver in front of me. Arab or African? Ahh, African. Probably'.

He was probably driving a bomb disguised as a car. Probably.

No, it was the same guy both times. And he's from Wellingboro.

He sometimes goes out on the motorway to forget all about Northants. With only his rucksackin' kindle to accompany his sad flight. Hogging the road all the way. But he can't help pulling in at the pitstops - far more often than he knows he should - to read his guide to Northamptonshire all over again.

Brass Monkey wrote:Oh yeah, I'm all racial. I'm all like 'there's a shit driver in front of me. Arab or African? Ahh, African. Probably'.

What??? Asians drive well in England??

Pommy Asians are more subbies than Viets and chinese

PeterCS wrote:No, it was the same guy both times. And he's from Wellingboro.

He sometimes goes out on the motorway to forget all about Northants. With only his rucksackin' kindle to accompany his sad flight. Hogging the road all the way. But he can't help pulling in at the pitstops - far more often than he knows he should - to read his guide to Northamptonshire all over again.

Is that bloody Northants clown still knocking around?
Does he still return to haunt the town each night?
Yellow skinned, red nosed, ginger haired racist barsteward.

Wouldn't it be great if I was the Northampton clown? Like, if I'd been doing that whilst pretending I didn't know shit? I'd be like a superhero, only less gay.

So it IS you.

I reckon it's a Mouse Called Gerald situation.

Australian posers?

Multi-clown for one identity, f*ck-knuckle...

But there's only one clown.

Has it stopped now horrie is home?

In general - no. The sightings are still occurring.

On here - no. He's still the biggest clown going.

ok...while I am not the clown (and have never heard of him/her) I concede to antipathy to "Australian values"

...for several years now if I have to purchase anything and there is a non Oz alternative I will buy the overseas product - is this racist?

...the election of the madmonk represents the hegemony of QBilly culture in this the richest and whingiest country on the planet

That's hardly patriotic, Horace.

Imagine if Abbott had a Joe McCarthy in his ranks.

PeterCS wrote:That's hardly patriotic, Horace.

Imagine if Abbott had a Joe McCarthy in his ranks.

....cough] patriotism is the last refuge of ...etc [cough...

there is a long queue of would be Joe's (inc the whole popln of Queensland)

horace wrote:ok

...the election of the madmonk represents  the hegemony of QBilly culture in this the richest and whingiest country on the planet

So who continues to whinge . . . . and whinge  . . . and whinge . . . and
Give it up H . . . Abbot's elected . . . period . . . stop whinging . . . suck on and then get used to it.
Conservatism is good for you . . . breathe it in and welcome its values.

Merlin wrote:

horace wrote:ok

...the election of the madmonk represents  the hegemony of QBilly culture in this the richest and whingiest country on the planet

So who continues to whinge . . . . and whinge  . . . and whinge . . . and
Give it up H . . . Abbot's elected . . . period . . . stop whinging . . . suck on and then get used to it.
Conservatism is good for you . . . breathe it in and welcome its values.

Whats the difference between Horace & a Jet engine? Eventually the Jet engine will stop whining.  

Nice!  

Big Dog wrote:

Merlin wrote:

horace wrote:ok

...the election of the madmonk represents  the hegemony of QBilly culture in this the richest and whingiest country on the planet

So who continues to whinge . . . . and whinge  . . . and whinge . . . and
Give it up H . . . Abbot's elected . . . period . . . stop whinging . . . suck on and then get used to it.
Conservatism is good for you . . . breathe it in and welcome its values.

Whats the difference between Horace & a Jet engine? Eventually the Jet engine will stop whining.  

And the 2013 award for he oldest joke goes to........

taipan wrote:

Big Dog wrote:

Merlin wrote:

horace wrote:ok

...the election of the madmonk represents  the hegemony of QBilly culture in this the richest and whingiest country on the planet

So who continues to whinge . . . . and whinge  . . . and whinge . . . and
Give it up H . . . Abbot's elected . . . period . . . stop whinging . . . suck on and then get used to it.
Conservatism is good for you . . . breathe it in and welcome its values.

Whats the difference between Horace & a Jet engine? Eventually the Jet engine will stop whining.  

And the 2013 award for he oldest joke goes to........

It was in honor of the oldest forummer.  

good heavens young laddies...we have had Skully et al whimpering for years about the equally gruesome Gillard and Krudd...I mad e no bones about what merde they were and how this country's values were being chucked down the toilet and replaced by qbilly fascism....and this was under the ALP...

you misunderstand the difference between legit criticism and Skully and BD's animist barking at a full moon...

the filthy madmonk is a natural progression from the wolf whistling of gillard, carr and krudd...

now we of course we sink the boats which was what the majority of whitey Oz voted for...inevitably turn back the boats was code for sink the boats

The boat set sail from Indonesia with an Indonesian crew & sank in Indonesian territorial waters. Sounds to me like its Indonesia's problem.