Who is the worst umpire in international cricket at the moment?

Well?

There's quite a few contenders. Erasmus is consistently terrible, along with Tony Hill. Dharmasena is great one day and terrible the next, Oxenford is out of his depth and should never have been promoted, there's a couple of diabolical ones from the West Indies….

Aleem Dar is pretty good, but is he still umpiring? Seems like he hasn't been in action for a while. Rod Tucker is ok. Not great, but ok. In my opinion Richard Kettleborough is the best in the world at the moment. Nigel Llong is pretty good as well. For whatever reason, England seems to produce the best umpires (yay).

But overall, the standard of umpiring in international cricket at the moment is as bad as I can remember. Time to get rid of neutral umpires and simply appoint the best umpires for the job? Or at the very least allow one home umpire. Also, maybe a rotation system whereby three umpires rotate throughout a test (every day?) could be considered. It might help to keep them fresher and sharper.

Toss up between Tucker and Davis.

Davis has retired, no? If he hasn't he should be pensioned off quick smart. And Taips, surely even you have to admit that Erasmus is awful.

Erasmus is not the greatest but he hasn't made as many blatant cock ups as Tucker.

What about the Snoozie guy who kept on getting it wrong in last year's Ashes?

Maybe. There's just something about Erasmus's demeanour- Like he's never confident giving decisions, and frequently it's looked like he's said not out only to change his mind at the last minute. I remember one decision he gave a few months ago where he was walking away from the stumps before belatedly deciding to put his finger up. Maybe it was in the Windies with Alex Hales the batsman? It seems like he goes by the strength of the appeal.. Especially when the appeal is Indian.

JGK wrote:What about the Snoozie guy who kept on getting it wrong in last year's Ashes?

Tony Hill? Incredibly weak umpire.

Tucker, Davis, Oxenford and Hill are the worst.

Erasmus occasionally cocks it as does Dharmasena, Gould and Bowden.

Kettleborough and Daar are perhaps the best of a pretty ordinary bunch.

Oh to have Simon Taufel back.

Umpiring controversies
On 16 August in a test match between South Africa and England at Lords, Rod Tucker made a very controversial decision as a 3rd umpire. England bowler Finn made an appeal against Jacques Kallis for a catch down the leg side but umpire Kumar Dharmasena gave it not out. England reviewed the decision and Rod Tucker overturned the decision. But he overlooked the fact that Kallis' bottom hand had been withdrawn from the bat when the ball made contact with his glove and so he should be given not out. Also there was no conclusive evidence about ball touching bat or gloves.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Tucker#Umpiring_controversies

As I said yesterday Tucker even gets TV decisions wrong.

taipan wrote:Umpiring controversies
On 16 August in a test match between South Africa and England at Lords, Rod Tucker made a very controversial decision as a 3rd umpire. England bowler Finn made an appeal against Jacques Kallis for a catch down the leg side but umpire Kumar Dharmasena gave it not out. England reviewed the decision and Rod Tucker overturned the decision. But he overlooked the fact that Kallis' bottom hand had been withdrawn from the bat when the ball made contact with his glove and so he should be given not out. Also there was no conclusive evidence about ball touching bat or gloves.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Tucker#Umpiring_controversies

As I said yesterday Tucker even gets TV decisions wrong.

He's no Daryl Harper…...

Merlin wrote:Tucker, Davis, Oxenford and Hill are the worst.

Erasmus occasionally cocks it as does Dharmasena, Gould and Bowden.

Kettleborough and Daar are perhaps the best of a pretty ordinary bunch.

Oh to have Simon Taufel back.

I miss Bucknor.

If only Bucknor had retired around 2005, he would have gone down as one of the best. But he was well past his best for the last three years of his career.

Henry wrote:If only Bucknor had retired around 2005, he would have gone down as one of the best. But he was well past his best for the last three years of his career.

Made some great decisions in that period.

Oxenford

Oxenford and Tucker. Gashweasels extraordinaire. I could do better whilst being sucked off by a midget when blind drunk.

The drink would get to the midget's head too quickly for the sucking off to have any real detrimental effect.

You'll just have a comatose midget in front of you which is inconvenient but not off putting.

Have to agree on Oxenford and Tucker. It's embarrassing as an Aussie to have these two on the International Panel. They were pretty shit at Shield level, so how they got to the Panel is beyond me. A quota perhaps.

Davis is pretty ordinary too. Tony Hill seems to umpire by numbers. I actually rate Erasmus. Sure, he's had the odd shocker but he seems to be in control. Aleem Dar is probably one of the best.

spangler wrote:The drink would get to the midget's head too quickly for the sucking off to have any real detrimental effect.

You'll just have a comatose midget in front of you which is inconvenient but not off putting.

How else am I going to get a midget to suck me off unless I ply them with a massive amount of moonshine? Natural good looks? Urbane charm? Not. Likely. 'Get it where you can' is my motto. And inebriated dwarves are where it's at.

Brass Monkey wrote:

spangler wrote:The drink would get to the midget's head too quickly for the sucking off to have any real detrimental effect.

You'll just have a comatose midget in front of you which is inconvenient but not off putting.

How else am I going to get a midget to suck me off unless I ply them with a massive amount of moonshine? Natural good looks? Urbane charm? Not. Likely. 'Get it where you can' is my motto. And inebriated dwarves are where it's at.

In my experience a step ladder is all it's ever taken. But I'm a midget magnet. I've been sucked off by more sober midgets than Henry Winkler. I'm the real life Arthur Fonzarelli of midget suck off recipients.

It's a gift not everyone is born with. Or if they are born with it they just don't know what to do with it

I'll have to take lessons off you, I reckon. At the minute, I'm busting out faster than The Fonz is at jumping 20 busses. I'm like some midget repellent munter. The lack of midgets in my life makes me think that the evil queen f*cked up Snow White, rather than the other way around. My life is a midget wasteland, full of people over 5 foot ('tallees' as they're called in the dwarven community), with their normal sized hands and mouths. Makes me feel ruddy inadequate TBH.

It's difficult to teach. Like left handed fingering or magic eye picture hanging.

Most people in the game say that Ronnie O'sullivan is the most natural at it there's ever been. Roll Royce coming action I overheard someone say. If you can get hold of his number you'll be buried in midget gobs

Left handed fingering is a dying art. I'm useless at it. 'Like a butcher' they say. If they're on about Mark Butcher, then they're dead wrong, because he's ace at it. If it's just your normal run of the mill butcher, then maybe, because I haven't seen any butchers left hand fingering any sort of meat.

skully wrote:Have to agree on Oxenford and Tucker. It's embarrassing as an Aussie to have these two on the International Panel. They were pretty shit at Shield level, so how they got to the Panel is beyond me. A quota perhaps.

Davis is pretty ordinary too. Tony Hill seems to umpire by numbers. I actually rate Erasmus. Sure, he's had the odd shocker but he seems to be in control. Aleem Dar is probably one of the best.

Tucker and Reiffel were fast tracked (along with Blocker Wilson) by CA because they were ex FC cricketers . Oxenford is also an ex FC cricketer but was umpiring before the fast track initiative was introduced.

TV umpires get enhanced audio and vision than what is shown by the tv networks ... (Not sure how or why but the ICC DRS technician was at a WACA umpires meeting and assured us of that) .... so apparently* there are some decisions made by the third umpire that dont seem right when viewed on the tv

I know the pathway that CA umpires need to go through (even the fast tracks) to umpire at International level . They need to be very good umpires to get there . I'm not sure why they make so many "mistakes" .

Bowden is the only ump who is used as an example of not what to do ...and that's because of his clown act which magnifies any mistakes you make

Surprised the chat about Lilliputian fellating and sinister clitoral massage hasn't lured RD back. I think he's left handed, too.

Clitorises tend to avoid him