AFL 2016

Dustin Martin rings to apologise
Dustin Martin has been forced to apologise to a woman after a drunken incident at Mr Miyagi restaurant and bar on Saturday night. Here he rings to offer a heart felt apology.

Richmond’s Media Manager: Dustin we need you to ring and apologise to the woman you abused on Saturday night.

Dustin Martin: Do I have to?

Media Manager: Yes. Now I’ve written an apology for you, just stick to the script and you’ll be fine. It’s ringing, be nice.

Patron: Hello?

Martin: Hi, it’s me.

Patron: Sorry?

Martin: It’s me.

Media Manager: Dustin it’s a phone, she can’t see you.

Martin: It’s Dustin Martin, I’m the guy who abused you at the restaurant on Saturday night. The one with neck tattoos and a strange haircut. I was brandishing a chopstick. Do you remember me?

Patron: I do remember, despite your chameleon-like ability to blend in with the crowd.

Martin: Well, I’m ringing to read you an apology the media manger wrote for me.

Patron: You’re doing what?

Media Manager: Dustin! Just read it don’t say I wrote it.

Martin: I’m ringing to apologise but I’m not doing it because the media manager is making me and I’m definitely not reading from a script.

Patron: That’s certainly reassuring.

Martin: Hang on, my mobile’s ringing. I’ve got to get this, it’s a friend-of-a-friend’s cousin who I don’t know that well.

Media Manager: Look, I’m sorry, Dustin’s had to go, something vitally important has come up. I just want to reiterate how sorry he is.

Patron: He sounded absolutely shattered.

Media Manager: Look, I’m really sorry. For everything. Just everything.

Patron: Well I appreciate that and I’m sorry you had to write an apology that didn’t get used.

Media Manager: That’s OK. I just got the last apology I wrote for him and changed the dates.

Time he was sacked.

This is real test forthe Tigers. Hope they do not do the saffie choke.

embee wrote:Dustin Martin rings to apologise
Dustin Martin has been forced to apologise to a woman after a drunken incident at Mr Miyagi restaurant and bar on Saturday night. Here he rings to offer a heart felt apology.

Richmond’s Media Manager: Dustin we need you to ring and apologise to the woman you abused on Saturday night.

Dustin Martin: Do I have to?

Media Manager: Yes. Now I’ve written an apology for you, just stick to the script and you’ll be fine. It’s ringing, be nice.

Patron: Hello?

Martin: Hi, it’s me.

Patron: Sorry?

Martin: It’s me.

Media Manager: Dustin it’s a phone, she can’t see you.

Martin: It’s Dustin Martin, I’m the guy who abused you at the restaurant on Saturday night. The one with neck tattoos and a strange haircut. I was brandishing a chopstick. Do you remember me?

Patron: I do remember, despite your chameleon-like ability to blend in with the crowd.

Martin: Well, I’m ringing to read you an apology the media manger wrote for me.

Patron: You’re doing what?

Media Manager: Dustin! Just read it don’t say I wrote it.

Martin: I’m ringing to apologise but I’m not doing it because the media manager is making me and I’m definitely not reading from a script.

Patron: That’s certainly reassuring.

Martin: Hang on, my mobile’s ringing. I’ve got to get this, it’s a friend-of-a-friend’s cousin who I don’t know that well.

Media Manager: Look, I’m sorry, Dustin’s had to go, something vitally important has come up. I just want to reiterate how sorry he is.

Patron: He sounded absolutely shattered.

Media Manager: Look, I’m really sorry. For everything. Just everything.

Patron: Well I appreciate that and I’m sorry you had to write an apology that didn’t get used.

Media Manager: That’s OK. I just got the last apology I wrote for him and changed the dates.

At least they didn't get his number the wrong way round....

After being presented with his new jumper, the experienced former St Kilda grand final player said he was very grateful to the North Melb club for the chance to continue his career, and was specially looking forward to playing under Roos coach Scott Bradley.

Little has stood down from his role at Essendon.

TUESDAY - ESSENDON'S DAY OF RECKONING

All of the 34 players involved have been suspended for twelve months. This includes twelve current Essendon players. There is no further right of appeal by any party.

Red wrote:All of the 34 players involved have been suspended for twelve months.  This includes twelve current Essendon players.  There is no further right of appeal by any party.

Will they declare Watson's Brownlow void as well?

JGK wrote:

Red wrote:All of the 34 players involved have been suspended for twelve months.  This includes twelve current Essendon players.  There is no further right of appeal by any party.

Will they declare Watson's Brownlow void as well?

you mean Cotchin's Brownlow ...and Mitchell's

Carlton accidentally appoint James Hird coach


In an alarming mix up, the Carlton Football Club have appointed James Hird as their new senior coach.

The mistake is arguably one of Carlton’s biggest in the last few months.

A source close to the club said the appointment was a result of a ‘comedy of errors’ which were still not fully understood by those involved.

Blues CEO Steven Trigg said he was keen to get to the bottom of how he offered Hird a ten year, $8 million contract.

“While I’m not sure how this happened and admit it wasn’t intentional, I think it’s going to be terrific for the club. James has a proven track record of being a coach.”

“It’s possible I sent Brendon Bolton’s contract to the wrong address. I’d spilt a bit of wine on it, so the figure could have look like $8 million.”

Moves to void the contract have been blocked by lawyers acting for Hird.

Carlton fans have reacted with anger at the announcement.

“I guess we all make mistakes but I’m not happy about this at all,” said long time member Sharon Paulson.

“I’m used to this club being badly run but this is ridiculous. I never thought I’d say this but I’d prefer Mick.”

“Still, I guess Essendon are above us on the ladder.”

Caroline Wilson has called for Hird to be sacked.

Red wrote:All of the 34 players involved have been suspended for twelve months.  This includes twelve current Essendon players.  There is no further right of appeal by any party.

chickens finally roosting. now if only we could get james hird locked up...

Watson's Brownlow is being looked at.

Drug ccheats. I remember the Bennies flogging the blues and then coach Ratten demanding answers from his fitness staff after his team was rag dolled.

All 38 players shd sue the Bennies. Loss of income and reputation. Port, Saints and Bullies shd sue for being sold damaged goods.

Will prolly cost the Bennies 30 to 40 mill.

Other clubs will not want to bail them out. They will need to conduct a fire sale. I expect insolvency, possibly saved by a .move to Tas.

Well at least Carlton are a chance of shedding the wooden spoon next season.

Aye. Wd you support a transplanted team?

horace wrote:Aye. Wd you support a transplanted team?

Not Essendon. They have no support down here. Hawthorn, North, Saints & Richmond......& Collingwood i suppose but any other club would struggle.

Essendon to Tasmania? We don't need your trash colostomy effluent, horrie.

horace wrote:Aye. Wd you support a transplanted team?

not the drug cheats

All I can say is "sucked in, cheats". I hope that cheating qunt Hird is never seen in AFL circles again. And the prick is still claiming "miscarriage of justice". Fark off, you dickhead.

Trent Cotchin reconfirmed as Tiges captain for this season, while David Mundy replaces Pav.