I've just won £4 million! I'm rich

by JKLever Tue 11 Sep 2007, 12:58

Greeting from the UK lottery and this notification come as a result of
your winnings. You have won the sum of £4,000.000.00(Four Million
Pounds Sterling). To file for your claims, do contact our agent Mrs.
Catherine Nola

E-mail: catherinenola3@jmail.co.za

Don't these scammers even try and put some effort in?

by Brass Monkey Tue 11 Sep 2007, 12:59

JKLever wrote:Greeting from the UK lottery and this notification come as a result of
your winnings. You have won the sum of £4,000.000.00(Four Million
Pounds Sterling). To file for your claims, do contact our agent Mrs.
Catherine Nola

E-mail: catherinenola3@jmail.co.za

Don't these scammers even try and put some effort in?

Taips and Bliks really need to put some work in here.

by doremi Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:01

What do you care? You're rich.

by taipan Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:01

Batfink Begins wrote:
JKLever wrote:Greeting from the UK lottery and this notification come as a result of
your winnings. You have won the sum of £4,000.000.00(Four Million
Pounds Sterling). To file for your claims, do contact our agent Mrs.
Catherine Nola

E-mail: catherinenola3@jmail.co.za

Don't these scammers even try and put some effort in?

Taips and Bliks really need to put some work in here.

Hey, we fiddled ours so badly, it has been closed for months.

by Brass Monkey Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:03

taipan wrote:
Hey, we fiddled ours so badly, it has been closed for months.

Tell it to the rozzers. They're on their way round. Got the address off Merlin apparently.

by taipan Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:05

Batfink Begins wrote:
taipan wrote:
Hey, we fiddled ours so badly, it has been closed for months.

Tell it to the rozzers. They're on their way round. Got the address off Merlin apparently.

He's got the same address I gave the lottery.

by bliksem Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:31

Hello Complete Stranger,

I love you. You are a good person and if I have uterus I would make your babies.

I would like to make discussion with you of a business proposition. My name is Inky Pinky Lemon-Slinky and I am having recently the job of UNDER SECRETARY of TOASTER OVENS in His Majesty's glorious government of Bapetikosweti, may His cheese remain soft and yellow. We have been allocated US$80,000,000 in research budget, but since the hamster died we are having no electricity, so there is no further requirement for toaster ovens. My department has been made redundant but the research budget remains.

I am be needing the help of someone I've never met before who lives in a country I've never been to, in whose hands I can place my testicles with trust and confidence, to give help for me to move this money out of the country. Through having no idea who I am talking to I know you are this person. Please to be helping me and sending me return mail that is telling me you are the one to give me the help in the mail to me.

Blessings on your rose garden,

Dodgy Geezer in Lagos internet cafe.

by Gary 111 Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:35

Excellent! My sort-code and account number are in the post.

by JKLever Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:38

bliksem wrote: My name is Inky Pinky Lemon-Slinky

I was convinced from this point onwards...

although I did read the last bit as 'Dodgy geezer in Lags internet cafe'

by holcs Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:38

Very good Bliks

by Brass Monkey Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:39

Nice, I'd probably sign up for it.

Check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=372Ah0Z_L1w

by skully Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:48

Outstanding work bliks and LP.

by Gary 111 Tue 11 Sep 2007, 13:52

Batfink Begins wrote: Nice, I'd probably sign up for it.

Check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=372Ah0Z_L1w

That fonejacker thing reminded me of working for a University alumni office trying to fiddle people into donating money to colleges and departments that didn't particularly need it.

I was cr@p at the job but we had this little South African fella, had a very similar voice - he just sounded so delightful and had quite broken English that no-one could say no to him. Some of them tried - he just didn't understand it.

If we reached a certain target by the end of the night we got free pizza, whenever we did it was always down to him.

by rosydaysarefew Tue 11 Sep 2007, 14:10

"Under-secretary of toaster ovens". Genius.

by holcs Tue 11 Sep 2007, 14:30

And right on cue this just landed in my Junkmail:

ATTN:MY DEAR,
BUSINESS PROPOSAL URGENT REPLY

I am David MENSAH,I hereby solicit for your Urgent Assistance for the purchase of some landed property in your country; I just got your contact Through One of my associates an indigene of your country who visited my country during our political campaign year 2005. Basically, my enquiry is to know if you will be of significant importance to Me by locating a nice landed property for purchase in your country. I have intention to use this money either to start importation of HEAVY DUTIES MARCH! INES, FOOD ITEMS, ELECTICAL PARTS, or any moveable items through your directive from your country. I am a representing our political party here in the Republic of Ghana (N.P.P) NATIONAL PATROTIC PARTY.

We are the leading party in the present Government, therefore, since you can assure me of this little request Then, I will give you details on how to proceed, this is my personal deal, our code of conduct and civil service rules as enshrine in our 1999 constitution does not allow any government official to have any property out side the Country, also we have no authority to operate foreign account, for this request, I want you to stand as my foreign Technical partner to claim the total amount of(FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS), which was recovered from top military officers in the past military government.

Therefore, I will protect our interest and to secure every legitimate/ valid document covering the total amount from (NATIONAL DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY)! to proof as evidence to whom ever it may concern that the money does not made either from money laundry, hard drugs, Terrorist. It is 100% risk free. Please if you can help me to secure this transaction without any discrepancy or Misconduct, I will entrust into your care all the relevant documents, but I will like to have a proper agreement with you prior to finalizing with both parties.

This transaction will take only 14 working days to be completed
successfully for our mutual benefit NOTE as a matter of priority, this information were not disclose to my associate with regards to the issue proposed to you herein. secondly, you will be required to arrive here in my country to claim the fund. But, if you cannot be able to visit here, we go through diplomatic way, by contacting a diplomat who can help us to move the fund direct to your country for quick investments, since you can provide your Identity to proof that you will not runaway with the money after it might been delivered in your country. I look forward to hear from you.

God be with you
David Mensah.

I copied Bliks post and sent it back to him! Very Happy

:D

by Henry Nolonga Tue 11 Sep 2007, 14:31

i got two letters from the "Spanish Lottery" saying that i had won £600k in their lottery. It was pretty strange, considering: i didn't enter, the header image was squashed and stretched and they were using the old National Lottery logo and not to mention the (over)use of WordArt.

very professional looking!

speaking of scamming, does anyone else go to www.419eater.com ? i love reading some of their scams. edit, just read that the site got a DDoS attack.

by bliksem Tue 11 Sep 2007, 14:37

I've seen that site before. They have some very creative scams to scam the scammers.

by doremi Tue 11 Sep 2007, 14:41

bliksem wrote:Hello Complete Stranger,

I love you. You are a good person and if I have uterus I would make your babies.

I would like to make discussion with you of a business proposition. My name is Inky Pinky Lemon-Slinky and I am having recently the job of UNDER SECRETARY of TOASTER OVENS in His Majesty's glorious government of Bapetikosweti, may His cheese remain soft and yellow. We have been allocated US$80,000,000 in research budget, but since the hamster died we are having no electricity, so there is no further requirement for toaster ovens. My department has been made redundant but the research budget remains.

I am be needing the help of someone I've never met before who lives in a country I've never been to, in whose hands I can place my testicles with trust and confidence, to give help for me to move this money out of the country. Through having no idea who I am talking to I know you are this person. Please to be helping me and sending me return mail that is telling me you are the one to give me the help in the mail to me.

Blessings on your rose garden,

Dodgy Geezer in Lagos internet cafe.

I've just won £4 million! I'm rich Notworthy

by filosofee Tue 11 Sep 2007, 15:51

JKLever wrote:Greeting from the UK lottery and this notification come as a result of
your winnings. You have won the sum of £4,000.000.00(Four Million
Pounds Sterling). To file for your claims, do contact our agent Mrs.
Catherine Nola

E-mail: catherinenola3@jmail.co.za

Don't these scammers even try and put some effort in?

Will you take me to Cancun - we could use the money to rebuild the hurricane-destroyed areas and have us a happy life!!! Very Happy

by Merlin Tue 11 Sep 2007, 16:40

Have you ever noticed that these god-awful "make you rich" offers generally originate from Nigeria?

They pop up freuently in the oil trade ... generally along the lines of:

"I can get my hands on 50 million litres of high grade gasoline which I will deliver to your tanker in ........(name a random port)...., but you must open a letter of credit in my favour for $10 milion and when you take delivery of my oil you must pay me immediately into my Swiss account,
Your humble servant,
etc etc etc"

However when it's pointed out that 50 million litres of gasoline is a whole 2 years of maximum production of all Nigerian refineries (making allowances for the entire population to swap all their cars for bullocks/tricycles) the reply is "No Problem".

And when asking to define "High grade gasoline" - the answer is "the best you can buy",

And that the price worked out to 10 uscents per litre (cheaper than Saudi Arabia) - "well, that must be a good buy for you ..."

L/C costs me money ... the reply .... "brother, you can afford 100 L/C's it after you do this deal"

Fnally, when asking for the Swiss bank account ... reply... "I will personally attend your office and collect the money and take it to Zurich and deposit it in my account."

But hey - it's fun giving the cretins a hard-on by stringing them along ... you can just see the foam frothing around the mouth and the figers carressing their genitals in sheer excitement !!!
Happy days.

by filosofee Tue 11 Sep 2007, 17:45

Can't believe their replies to you Merlin, they sound like that 'phonejacker on C4!

ps were you at Lord's yesterday?

by Henry Nolonga Tue 11 Sep 2007, 17:59

oh and merlin, are you a big fan of the X-files?

by Merlin Tue 11 Sep 2007, 19:29

filosofee wrote: Can't believe their replies to you Merlin, they sound like that 'phonejacker on C4!

ps were you at Lord's yesterday?

Yes I was ... bit of a damp squib .. but ... a game of cricket nonetheless which the Sexies tried very hard to give away to the Dires.
Were you there?

Lighting works ... though looked a bit wobbly ...
Only 6k attendance though - so the st john's wood locals weren't too unhappy.
Bodes well for next year and beyond ... 20/20 WC final 2009 ??
Roll on ...

by Merlin Tue 11 Sep 2007, 19:31

Henry Nolonga wrote:oh and merlin, are you a big fan of the X-files?

Used to be Hank .. but Nolonga, mate ...

(sorry, couldn't resist it!) Wink

Just like the puke green on sinister black.

by Brass Monkey Tue 11 Sep 2007, 19:33

Hank?

Yee-haw. Ah'm-a gonna git ya, stinking rabbit!

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