Who'd win in a fight between ...

1) Sulieman Benn
2) Nigel Benn
3) Tony Benn
4) Ben Hilfenhaus
5) Ben Kingsley
6) Biill & Ben

I've given it a lot of thought, and my odds would be
100/30, 9/4, 1/1, 25/1, 10/1 and 100/1 respectively.

I somehow feel that Oz Ben would need a home help for his "help home" PDQ.

Bill and Ben, though with numbers on their side, would soon be jibbering little weeds among the carnage - blobbergob and all that.

Kingsley might beguile them for a while with his NVDA cunning, but would no doubt be absolutely assassinated before the big finish.

I'm sure Sulieman would start promisingly, wrapping those long fingers round his various oppoments' necks and delivering fierce bola punches from on high, all with that benevolent grin on his face.

Nige's jabs would almost certainly have him destroyed before the final round, however.

But I believe the shock winner might be Wedgey. He would get that damaging left hook in about workers' rights, and then follow it up with a piledriver of a left cross about international democratic solidarity, which would leave even Nige succumbing in a helpless state of catalepsy before very long.


Incidentally, and seriously, did anyone else hear Viv say "Nigel Benn" instead of "Sulieman ..." on the BBC radio commentary? IVA continues to surprise me with his appreciation of things in life other than cricket (e.g. good food), and his sense of humour about cultural foibles and life generally.

From his demeanour and high earnestnessness as a player (and unwelcomed administrator), I had him down as a more intimidating, regal, haughty variation on Boycott ... who famously once said oh, but he did have other interests, apart from cricket, for example he enjoyed "good music", like the Stylistics .... but Viv is no Nazarene. Much as he is passionate about cricket, he enjoys life.

His chuckle when he realised his lines were crossed between the Bajan spinner and the Ilford slugger was also typically infectious. He is - against expectations - a "whole person".

Fair play, I take back everything I've ever said bad to you Peter, this has obviously been given some thought.


Mr Benn will win though. He can change into anyone.

If Ben Kingsley played his character from Sexy Beast he would muller everyone.

Fine stuff, Peter.

If this is a serious question then obviously Tony Benn would win. He'd just talk them all down.

Ben Ean could knock them all off

Ben Hurr?

Ben Dover.

Ben Ki-Moon?

Ben Dover would hardly fight fair.



But then, neither would Ben Laden.

(The other branch of his family seems to transliterate their name as "Ben" .. not sure if to disown him ..)

Benaud would find it all very amusing

Uncle Ben would make the dinner.

Ben Nett - If he can help the hapless Dragons to win a Grand Final, he can do just about anything.

ben ghazi

ben zedrine

Benni Bennasi will provide the sh!t tunes.

and the fight will be financed by Ben Ben Hanky

The fight will take place outside Big Ben.
They will have to maintain Ben Stiller poses, whilst sitting in on the talk show - Gentle Ben.

But what's the benchmark for victory?

If any of them develop a cough, I hope there will be a good supply of Benelyn on hand.

Surely Big Ben would win on account of having a size advantage over everyone.

And Kingsley's success would depend on how much of that Gandhi "non-violent resistance" stuff he took to heart.

but benny goodman's big bad ben band knocks everyone out

That's evil! You should NOT abuse your public.


Is there a role for the fastest milkcarrt drriver in the West?