Championship Div 1 XI vs Championship Div 2 XI, Lords, 24-27

A match based on Statistics, runs, wickets and averages (for 2009). It would take place in Lords, the symbolic home of Cricket. (English Test match player's who have actually made an impact in said Division's have also been included. That means no James Anderson/Ali Cook for example, not played enough).

1 Kolpak and 1 Oversea's player per XI. (Optional)

Division 1 XI

M Trescothick (Somerset)
M Carberry (Hampshire)
J Rudolph* (Kolpak, Yorkshire)
J Trott (Warwickshire)
S Chanderpaul (Overseas, Durham)
C Read+ (Nottinghamshire)
I Blackwell (Durham)
C Woakes (Warwickshire)
S Harmison (Durham)
G Onions (Durham)
R Sidebottom (Nottinghamshire)

12th Man: L Plunkett (Durham)


Division 2 XI


S Peters (Northamptonshire)
M Van Jaarsveld (Kolpak, Kent)
M Ramprakash (Surrey)
R Key (Kent)
J Taylor (Leicestershire)
G Jones + (Kent)
J Dalrymple* (Glamorgan)
J Harris (Glamorgan)
S Finn (Middlesex)
S Kirby (Gloucestershire)
D Kaneria (Overseas, Essex)

12th Man: JS Foster (Essex)

Division 2 would have won the Toss and elected to bowl first, to make good use of the early movement and the Lords slope to bring about early inroads in the Division 1 line-up. Dalrymple knew that it flattens out later on, so had no other choice.


Weather: Patches of sunlight amongst heavy cloud

You'd need a good incentive ...

Winners' counties to be in Div One for next season

How about whoever wins gets naked pictures of Bea Arthur?

COR!

Naked pictures of Bea Smith would be better...

Whatever filehost you use is shit Lever. I can never see them.

Which makes about 45/50 of your posts a day that're just a grey line. Picboy.

Adam Voges would be my first nomination from a Nottinghamshire perspective. The amount of runs he has scored from shitty situations this season has been incredible.

The Div Two team really is appalling though. I think James Taylor will probably turn out to be the most over-rated English player of the next five years.

No surprises that Gus was going to say the div 2 team is appalling. He likes to wank about Notts being in Div 1. Weird though, that Key and Kirby have been around the England set-up of recent, MVJ is one of the best batsmen to play here on a regular basis, Ramps has been shitting on everyone and it contains two of the more promising young bowlers we have. Oh well, he must be right - he goes on about it so very much.

Bea Arthur is dead, you jackass.

You'll be raking over Marilyn next. And not even Manson.

Smerky, look, I dont' know quite how to break this to you, but ... it ain't going to happen, sunshine.

Ramps and Key probably have enough binary scores in Test Matches between them to program a cricket game in which they are actually good. Martin van Jaarsveld is another shite Test Cricketer. Steven Finn's only fan is Bob Willis. The first division team would wipe the floor with the second division team.

It's got a better attack than most Test nations and a better batting line-up than England's Test side. Read and Fatwell should swap places though.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Steven Finn's only fan is Bob Willis.

OK, OK... he's no Luke 78MPH-trundler -I'll-bully-the-shit-out-of-early-season-conditions-on-a-bowler's-paradise Fletcher. I'm sorry.

But I'm not the one comparing Luke Fletcher to Andrew Flintoff so your attempt to distract people from the facts of my post with an irrelevant point is futile. Nevertheless, if you'll look at the scores at Trent Bridge this year, you'll see that it has not been a bowler's paradise.

No, you're right. You haven't wanked about him at all. Trent Bridge? It's a place where tough men have scored tough runs against tough bowlers.

I hear that worldwide it's called the supertest arena. If we were to play aliens, we'd play them at TB and we'd pit them against the mighty Nottinghamshire (AKA Division 1's darlings).

I have enthused about Luke Fletcher, undeniably, but from the perspective of a Nottinghamshire CCC supporter, not an England supporter (the first being most important to me). As for the rest of your post, utter nonsense.

I'm sorry. I thought Div 2 was basically like a load of drunk 3rd XI park players who only play to look at other blokes in the showers and that Div 1 is like basically a load of brilliants playing the likes of Zeus and Odin every week. Must get more perspective.

What happens when the likes of Odin and Zeus get relegated to the shower staring division?


Anyway,

Trescothick and Carberry walk out to the middle to a casual applause on this morning of morning's. They'll be looking to wreak havoc on the Division 2 opener's to gain the momentum early on.

And here come the Division 2 XI, led by Dalrymple. He has a quick chat with the guy's especially, Steven Finn, James Harris and Steve Kirby. Probably trying to figure out who to open the bowling with.

It looks as if Steven Finn will open from the Pavilion End. Trescothick will take strike for the first ball.

Why would Dalrymple be the captain ahead of Key?

3 Slips, a gully and short extra cover in for Finn to start with.

First over goes for four runs.


0.4 Finn to Trescothick, FOUR, Slashed through midwicket by Trescothick as Finn just air's the line a bit too much, and it goes for four. Bit too wide considering his first delivery was right on the mark.

Henry Nolonga wrote:Why would Dalrymple be the captain ahead of Key?

Let Key concentrate on his batting, considering the Division 2 batting is it's strongest suit, they need no jitter's or early collapses.

Slashed through midwicket? Never heard of it.

Drilled? Drove?

Ok. So we're making a game up in our heads?

1.2 Trescothick fires a pomegranate into Lord Lucan's gonads. Umpire gives it as 72 leg wides.

It was just a bit of harmless moral fun.


100.3 Pitch Invasion.

100.4 It turns out the crowd were just desparate for a piss because the toilets near the the Edrich stand were full. Good news is that everyone's back in their seats. Bad news is the pitch is waterlogged with piss. Pisslogged.