Yet more Fletcher revelations.

Link: http://www.cricket365.com/story/0,18305,6575_2833602,00.html

Nice.

* We would have won the World Cup if Gilo had been fit.


* And the only reason he wasn't is that Freddie Flintoff fell over on him, dead drunk, and crushed his gammy hip.


* The England football team lost that match in Russia because Flintoff put vodka in their half-time Lucozade.


* In fact, the situation in Iraq is also Flintoff's fault.


* And I wouldn't be surprised if those fires in California started when Flintoff came back from the pub drunk and left the sandwich toaster on.


* Monty Panesar will never be an international quality spinner until he curbs his hard-drinking, fast-living lifestyle.


* Geraint never touches a drop, bless him.


* And he makes a terrific G and T. And as for his foot rubs...


* Flintoff would sometimes get so drunk that he thought he could bat at six.


* He had problems appealing for LBW because he liked to say that it stood for "Lager, Beer, Wine" and that would make him giggle so much, he'd hurt his ankle.


* I had to take action to stop Flintoff leading Harmison astray in Australia. If I hadn't got Steve back on the orange juice, that ball could have gone to fourth or fifth slip.


* I couldn't pick Chris Read because Flintoff drank him by mistake and we had to cut him open to get the tiny stumper out and he was all messed up.


* I managed to keep that hushed up until now, but I feel that the time is finally right to let the world know.


* And not just because I got lots of money for the book.


* Well, alright, because I got lots of money for the book.

Gem.

Classic stuff.

Unfortunately for Fletch, none of the real revelations seem to be classy stuff...