Re: Sri Lanka v England, 1st Test, Galle, 26-30 March, 2012

by LeFromage Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:39

All the dismissals were tame. Not a single unplayable delivery. Although, in the sense that the England batsmen can't play spin for shit, they were all unplayable.

Nothing's changed from the Pakistan abortion. The approach to playing spin is to defend by going back in your crease no matter where the ball pitches; premeditate a sweep in a desperate attempt to get off strike; run down the track and have a slog.

Three shots. All rubbish. None remotely concerned with the notion of playing a ball on its merits.

by taipan Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:44

Brass Monkey wrote:Hmmm, attrocious doesn't even cover it. Now, I've only seen the first three wickets but I can wholeheartedly tell that there are no demons in this pitch. I'll wax lyrical about the wickets I've seen.

Cook got a good ball. OK, it was a typically leaden-footed Cook LB dismissal, but at least it pitched and ducked back.

Strauss - an absolutely shambolic shot, the selection of it was f*cking awful. I'm hoping to hell that he looked angry because of the shitty ill-judgement rather than the decision. 'We're trying, we've worked hard' have we? Then why in the f*cking world are they still playing flat-batted shots to fullish balls that have WAAAAAYYYYY too narrow an angle to do so?

Trott - I didn't think Strauss' shitty wicket could be trumped but fuuuuuucccckkkkk then I saw Trott's. Now, I've labelled him gash against spin and he's unequivocally showed this to be the case with this dismissal. He was like a number 10 or 11 who just couldn't be f*cked hanging around so decided to charge the spinner. The timing of the shot and the charge couldn't have been more abysmal. Further to this, I'm being literal when I say that Stephen Harmison can charge a spinner with more proficiency than this clown. What a total and utter joke of a batsman against any kind of spin. Thank f*ck that SA are more pace-oriented.

As for the total, well it's indicative that the incredibly limited 'technicians' in Panesar and Anderson can outscore our top seven. I cannot convey what a disgrace it is to get rolled for under 200 on this pudding. I find the entire situation to be many, many more times loathesome than the way it went in the UAE.

It is a disgrace.

Good Morning Dan, and how's your day going?

by tricycle Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:59

Dilshan's a bit shoite.

by Brass Monkey Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:04

taipan wrote:
Good Morning Dan, and how's your day going?

Well it's going as shit as every day in the sense that I'm sick and tired of working at the shithole I do. Plus I'm broke. Hence one of my only pleasures is to watch England play cricket. Now it's got to the point that I couldn't give less of a shit that Broad's already pegged Dilshan because I don't back our batsmen to chase any total SL set. Not even 125. So, to conclude, yeah I'm not bad thanks.

by tricycle Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:09

Noice ball by Swann. He wasn't as bad as his figures suggested in the first innings too.

by Brass Monkey Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:18

by taipan Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:21

Brass Monkey wrote:
taipan wrote:
Good Morning Dan, and how's your day going?

Well it's going as shit as every day in the sense that I'm sick and tired of working at the shithole I do. Plus I'm broke. Hence one of my only pleasures is to watch England play cricket. Now it's got to the point that I couldn't give less of a shit that Broad's already pegged Dilshan because I don't back our batsmen to chase any total SL set. Not even 125. So, to conclude, yeah I'm not bad thanks.

No chance of anything else going?

by Merlin Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:22

Well ... well .... well ....
Who'da thought it ... !

Bowlers doing it again for England ...

by Allan D Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:31

Most notably - GPS - firing in the right direction again.

by Brass Monkey Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:32

taipan wrote:
No chance of anything else going?

Like what? Jacks? Marbles?

by taipan Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:33

Brass Monkey wrote:
taipan wrote:
No chance of anything else going?

Like what? Jacks? Marbles?

In the job market

by Allan D Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:38

Lowest total at Galle - 79 by Zimbabwe in January 2002
by Sri Lanka - 105 v. Australia - August 2011
v. England - 226, December 2003.

by Brass Monkey Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:44

TBH, I haven't looked. I'm sure there would be. I got a good 'appraisal' but he reckons he's not in charge of the pay rises - it's up to the MD and you can't get more money-grubbing and stingy as him. My problem is that my boss is clued up enough to know when I'd want days off for interviews and why, because of the aftermath of the appraisal. I'm trying to work something out, but I've been waiting for more holiday days and hope that it lands right.

by taipan Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:51

Brass Monkey wrote:TBH, I haven't looked. I'm sure there would be. I got a good 'appraisal' but he reckons he's not in charge of the pay rises - it's up to the MD and you can't get more money-grubbing and stingy as him. My problem is that my boss is clued up enough to know when I'd want days off for interviews and why, because of the aftermath of the appraisal. I'm trying to work something out, but I've been waiting for more holiday days and hope that it lands right.

FFS, one of the reasons for the appraisal is to determine the remuneration increase. I got a reasonable one last week, but not as much as I was looking for.

by Brass Monkey Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:53

taipan wrote:
FFS, one of the reasons for the appraisal is to determine the remuneration increase. I got a reasonable one last week, but not as much as I was looking for.

Aye, well, the year before when they announced record profits, they also announced there'd be no pay rises. Think that sums the place up. The irony is that I just built an entire system to deal with appraisals, which has saved them 'loads of man-hours' already.

by taipan Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:03

Brass Monkey wrote:
taipan wrote:
FFS, one of the reasons for the appraisal is to determine the remuneration increase. I got a reasonable one last week, but not as much as I was looking for.

Aye, well, the year before when they announced record profits, they also announced there'd be no pay rises. Think that sums the place up. The irony is that I just built an entire system to deal with appraisals, which has saved them 'loads of man-hours' already.

Unfortunately there's only one solution, and you know what it is.

by LeFromage Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:07

Swann snares Sanga in the slips. (Gully, actually, but I was alliterating my balls off and didn't want to break the flow.)

by Allan D Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:13

Thanks, Dello (as well as Swanny), for returning us to the business at hand. I find blokes discussing their salaries a bit like kids discussing the size of their excrement - fascinating to themselves but nauseating to everyone else.

Who says GPS isn't England's premier spinner?

by taipan Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:18

Allan D wrote:Thanks, Dello (as well as Swanny), for returning us to the business at hand. I find blokes discussing their salaries a bit like kids discussing the size of their excrement - fascinating to themselves but nauseating to everyone else.

So you didn"t get an increase?

by LeFromage Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:20

They pay Allan in bananas and oranges.

by Brass Monkey Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:22

taipan wrote:
Unfortunately there's only one solution, and you know what it is.

Aye, 'upheaval'. It's a necessity though. Cheers.

by Allan D Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:24

Dello wrote:They pay Allan in bananas and oranges.

Would that "they" did. Don't even get peanuts.

by Brass Monkey Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:26

Allan D wrote:Thanks, Dello (as well as Swanny), for returning us to the business at hand. I find blokes discussing their salaries a bit like kids discussing the size of their excrement - fascinating to themselves but nauseating to everyone else.

Sorry Allan, I'll try to find some incredibly abstract and pointless stats off of Google / Cricinfo to put up. I don't know, like:

'this is the highest partnership by two batsmen from the North-West who've eaten some sandwiches that involve curry paste whilst the sun was hidden by some cumulonimbus clouds.'

by LeFromage Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:29

Brass Monkey wrote:
taipan wrote:
Unfortunately there's only one solution, and you know what it is.

Aye, 'upheaval'. It's a necessity though. Cheers.

I thought he was hinting at an armed rampage.

by Allan D Tue 27 Mar 2012, 12:33

Brass Monkey wrote:
Allan D wrote:Thanks, Dello (as well as Swanny), for returning us to the business at hand. I find blokes discussing their salaries a bit like kids discussing the size of their excrement - fascinating to themselves but nauseating to everyone else.

Sorry Allan, I'll try to find some incredibly abstract and pointless stats off of Google / Cricinfo to put up. I don't know, like:

'this is the highest partnership by two batsmen from the North-West who've eaten some sandwiches that involve curry paste whilst the sun was hidden by some cumulonimbus clouds.'

At least it would have some relevance to the thread.

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