Sri Lanka v England, 1st Test, Galle, 26-30 March, 2012

We've given this pie chucker 12 wickets now. He couldn't even cut it in county cricket a few years back.

Trott will at least come out of it with some credit, one less batsman on the chopping block, but most of the others have been a waste of space and there's a few playing for their places next summer and beyond in the next game. The first innings did the damage of course, along with the dropped catches.

Henry wrote:Moral victories? F*ck off. We've got four test losses in a row, that's what we've got. It's embarrassing for England to be referred to as the World's best test team. Really embarrassing.

Could be worse. Aren't the previous best team on 8 in a row?

taipan wrote:

Henry wrote:Moral victories? F*ck off. We've got four test losses in a row, that's what we've got. It's embarrassing for England to be referred to as the World's best test team. Really embarrassing.

Could be worse. Aren't the previous best team on 8 in a row?

But they were outside of India so they don't count.

Henry wrote:

taipan wrote:

Henry wrote:Moral victories? F*ck off. We've got four test losses in a row, that's what we've got. It's embarrassing for England to be referred to as the World's best test team. Really embarrassing.

Could be worse. Aren't the previous best team on 8 in a row?

But they were outside of India so they don't count.

So are yours.

As I said earlier in this thread. The new India.

How can we be the new India when the old India hasn't finished stinking up foreign countries with their shiteness?

We're the old England. Ie the England of the 90s.

Nobody's really deserved the number 1 ranking since Australia's legends retired. There's no team capable in all conditions. South Africa probably are the strongest all round team but even they don't seem to win enough Tests given the quality of players they have. Should be a good battle to be Test cricket's "least crap" team this summer.

Do you guys also have a quota system now?

The England tail is so weak. Panesar shouldn't play in the next test.

Worst trot by England since the Ashes whitewash 5 years ago.

It's not that we lost- That was the most likely result at the start of the day. It's the fact that Trott and Prior got us into a position of strength, but then everyone pissed it away with poor shots.

taipan wrote:Do you guys also have a quota system now?

Quota system for shit batsmen who can't play spin? Yes, it's about 8 or 9 of them required in each team.

Get Bresnan in for the next Test.

DJ_Smerk wrote:The England tail is so weak. Panesar shouldn't play in the next test.

I think he's picked for his bowling not his batting. Batsmen at fault in this match rather like the Pakster series. Only alternative is Bresnan and I can't see how we would strengthen the side. Big Bob says Broad may not be fit and Bopara still unfit so Bresnan for Broad only likely change.

Henry wrote:It's not that we lost- That was the most likely result at the start of the day. It's the fact that Trott and Prior got us into a position of strength, but then everyone pissed it away with poor shots.

Always going to be a problem against top-class spinners on a turning wicket. Responsibility lies with top order.

Congrats to the Lankans on winning a top Test match.

Also well done to Sammy Herath for the best bowling (12-171) since Chuck took 12-82 v Bangers at Kandy in 2007.

First Test win by SL since Chuck's retirement.

Allan D wrote:

DJ_Smerk wrote:The England tail is so weak. Panesar shouldn't play in the next test.

I think he's picked for his bowling not his batting. Batsmen at fault in this match rather like the Pakster series. Only alternative is Bresnan and I can't see how we would strengthen the side. Big Bob says Broad may not be fit and Bopara still unfit so Bresnan for Broad only likely change.

We're so used to sides that bat down to 10 now... can't blame Monty's batting, though perhaps his fielding!

Five of the top seven didn't pass 50 in either innings. Simple as that. Strauss needs a repeat of Napier 2008, and he may not be the only one.

skully wrote:Congrats to the Lankans on winning a top Test match.

Also well done to Sammy Herath for the best bowling (12-171) since Chuck took 12-82 v Bangers at Kandy in 2007.

First Test win by SL since Chuck's retirement.

Indeed, also Herath's figures are the best against England since the well-beloved Chuck's 16-220 at The Oval in August 1998 so the bowling of the century as far as England are concerned.

DJ_Smerk wrote:The England tail is so weak. Panesar shouldn't play in the next test.

FFS his batting won you the Ashes

beamer wrote:

taipan wrote:Do you guys also have a quota system now?

Quota system for shit batsmen who can't play spin? Yes, it's about 8 or 9 of them required in each team.

I was trying to find a reason for Patel's selection.

taipan wrote:

beamer wrote:

taipan wrote:Do you guys also have a quota system now?

Quota system for shit batsmen who can't play spin? Yes, it's about 8 or 9 of them required in each team.

I was trying to find a reason for Patel's selection.

We traditionally like bits and pieces all-rounders who don't contribute much anywhere!

6/31 collapse.

So it's Out with The New Ian Blackwell, and In with Bresnan?

Well, good on England for making a fight of it. Did I say England? Jesus, sorry, I meant Prior and especially Trott. The rest can f*ck right off. Abysmal doesn't even cover it. 'Ooh can't blame KP for trying it... it was the execution of the shot'. No. No, no, no, no, NO. It was just shit. No two ways about the fact that was shit. As bad as Strauss' yesterday - a fiedler SPECIFICALLY PLACED FOR THOSE SORT OF SHITTY MISCUES. 'Oooh Bell was unlucky to be given out' - yeah, maybe... only maybe though - Hawkeye had it as the umpire's call. Maybe he shouldn't be playing premeditated sweeps for shitty singles?

The list goes on... gutless, I'd call it. Should heads roll? Maybe... take your pick, I suppose.

Patel was exceptionally poor, full-stop. He got two wickets from the SL batsmen trying the tonk and f*ck all else. It's a pretty shit debut and I'd rather not see more weak batting like that.

Paul Keating wrote:6/31 collapse.

Sums it up. Weaker than a malnourished kitten in arctic conditions.

Some thoughts:

Ian Bell was never out. That was some appalling Hawkeye-ing. How could it possibly predict that a ball which pitched on off stump, hit Bell marginally in line with off stump ("Umpire's call"), having turned to off, was also going to hit off stump after travelling a further eight feet?

Absolute bollocks.

Premeditated sweep, though, so I'd have gunned him just for that.

Sam Patel thinks he's a batsman who bowls a bit. He's neither.

Swann should never bat higher than ten as he's not mature enough.

Good effort from Trott. Nice to see he took my advice (he's a big FB fan - especially the blog section) and cut out the aggressive shots and stuck to what he's good at: blunting the f*ck out of bowling attacks with singles and attrition.

Four games where the bowlers have put England in a winning position. Four defeats. And yet we only have one alternative batting option on tour. Selectors have thought that one through brilliantly, once again.

I don't know who they'll pick for the final Test, but it won't make any difference. The batsmen have been found out. Exposed. They'll all try and grimly hang on to make some easy runs against the WI and perhaps SA if they get on a nice flattie at the Oval, but the same players will fail the same way in India next winter too.