India v England, 5th ODI, Dharamsala, 27 January, 2013

Dead rubber being played at the home of the Sri Lankan umpire.

Or snowed off, as the case might be... may as well have scheduled it at Edgbaston by all accounts!

They could always burn Dernbach to keep warm.

Hmm, now if I were an England selector, I'd pick Dernbach. And Bresnan. Ooh, ooh, and I'd probably pick Samit Patel. Reckon we could squeeze a full 10 out of him.

He'd crackle nicely with all that flammable ink in him.

I'm not going to watch this. Our selectors have lost the plot.

Dernbach and Lady Di (the Broad) are the future of the English boeling attack...they have skill, they have potential, they have the hearts of oak

they are the bowling equivalent of the belfard

Get intercoursed horrie.

well thank you for that advice mudgeyboy...much appreciated..

but seriously ...jimmy is not getting younger ...and Lady di and Dernbach seem the peas for the pod

Had a thought about Jimbo the other day - can't believe he's only 30.5. I must be getting old.

I still remember his ODI debut at a half-demolished MCG as a 20 year old. He looked as meek as a mouse, but there was clearly talent there.

And in that same series, he dismissed Sananth Jayasuriya with a slower ball, and a pumped-up Nasser came running at him yelling "YOU'RE THE F*CKING MAN, JIMMY!!!!! THE F*CKING MAN!!!!!"

The young fella looked like he was on the verge of crying and shitting himself at the same time.

The red-streaked hair helped him along in FIGJAMing.

He caused quite an influx of besotted teenage girls onto the C4 forum, as well.

Brass Monkey wrote:Had a thought about Jimbo the other day - can't believe he's only 30.5. I must be getting old.

I'm constantly weirded out by the concept of people being younger than me. Because my brain development, maturity and emotional progression declared at about 17, I just sort of assume everyone I meet is my elder and am a little taken aback when they talk to me as though I'm a fellow adult.

I sort of know what you mean - I start to think 'ohh, he's OLD, man..' then realise I'm older than the person in question. Then sob at the fact that Father Time broke his deal with me. I was supposed to be like Peter Pan. Or Michael Jackson.

You'll always stay Michael Pan in my eyes.

I don't know how you can be surprised Anderson is not older when he still pouts and glowers and gyres around like a Kevin a bit more than you'd hope.

You can be an immature f*ckwad past the age of 21 - I'm testament to that.

Henry wrote:I still remember his ODI debut at a half-demolished MCG as a 20 year old. He looked as meek as a mouse, but there was clearly talent there.

And in that same series, he dismissed Sananth Jayasuriya with a slower ball, and a pumped-up Nasser came running at him yelling "YOU'RE THE F*CKING MAN, JIMMY!!!!! THE F*CKING MAN!!!!!"

The young fella looked like he was on the verge of crying and shitting himself at the same time.

You'd crap yourself if a wide-eyed, pumped-up Nasser Hussain came running at you.

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Had a thought about Jimbo the other day - can't believe he's only 30.5. I must be getting old.

I'm constantly weirded out by the concept of people being younger than me. Because my brain development, maturity and emotional progression declared at about 17, I just sort of assume everyone I meet is my elder and am a little taken aback when they talk to me as though I'm a fellow adult.

Brass Monkey wrote:I sort of know what you mean - I start to think 'ohh, he's OLD, man..' then realise I'm older than the person in question. Then sob at the fact that Father Time broke his deal with me. I was supposed to be like Peter Pan. Or Michael Jackson.

Thank God for what you both say. I'd always thought for the last 2 decades that I was the only one who felt like this.

England will bowl first. Dernbach finally dropped but still no Meaker. My theory is that now they haven't picked him for the ODI squad to NZ, they were scared of picking him here and having him take a bag of wickets, making his non-selection for NZ look foolish.

Looked like a good toss to win. India 89/5

Woakes isn't a white ball bowler. He isn't even a nice weather bowler. His effectiveness is limited to between the months of April and June. Not good news with the Ashes starting in July. I'd love to see his stats in April and May compared to June to September.

If he wants to hold down a regular place in the England side, his batting will have to get good enough for him to be a genuine number six. But Warwickshire (Ashley Giles) don't even bat him higher than eight, when he's already good enough to be at least batting at seven in County cricket. All very weird.

Cook doing a 'Strauss' here- Opposition on the ropes, and instead of bringing back the quicks to finish them off, he tries to get in a few overs from the part-timer, allowing the opposition to build a respectable total. Dear oh dear.....

FFS, Cook you are a twat. You have the opposition 80-5 and you still make your bowling changes based on the assumption that India will bat out the 50 overs??

I despair.