Alastair Cook has been present at all turning points of human history

Right then, i'll say what we've all been thinking.

Alastair Cook is an alien. From a planet where they look similar to humans, but for a slightly glassy eyed stare and lacking the ability to sweat.

Trapped on the planet earth, the immortal Cook has gradually been trying to encourage the evolution of the species so that one day he can return home.

Cook's previous persona's have included the slightly hunched but effective York opener Richard III:



He was used to playing a few flowing strokes as Pablo Picasso



And he fired a few aggreesive shots in the US Civil War as General George B McClellan



What's his game, huh? There's something creepy going on here....

Bertolt Brecht was on to this too, back in 1935.

Ostensibly satirising the complacent/misleading grand bourgeois version of history, he nailed it (actually in German, but "Cook" in German = "Koch", same difference as long as you get the last sound right)

Who built the seven great gates of Thebes?
The history books list the names of kings.
Did the kings haul the heavy blocks of stone?
(...)

"Young Alexander conquered India."
What, all on his own?

"Julius Caesar defeated the Gauls."
He didn't even have a cook with him?

"Phillip of Spain wept as his fleet was destroyed.".
No one else shed a tear? (...)

Gary: The image seems to be missing for the character famous for saying

"Now is the whingeing of Aus discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York [ points at Root, raising his bat @ 180 ]"