England's squad for the UAE

I think we can assume that Lyth won't go:

Cook
Hales
Bell
Root
Moeen
Ballance
Bairstow
Buttler
Stokes
Rashid
Broad
Anderson
Wood
Finn
Footit

I know that I dropped Bairstow on the Moeen thread, but we will need a reserve keeper. I would also recall Ballance on the understanding that he bats at 5 if he plays. The rest more or less pick themselves.

Dread. Call off the tour. Phone in a bomb hoax or something.

My halitosis hath returned with a vengeance.

Going back to Basil:

I'm trying desperately to think of another spinner worth a berth. But failing.

What about Tiny Taylor?

PeterCS wrote:What about Tiny Taylor?

England don't seem to like him. He was thought to be a shoo-in for the ODI side but never made it to the middle and when was he last in the test squad?

PeterCS wrote:Going back to Basil:

I'm trying desperately to think of another spinner worth a berth. But failing.

The completely non-dynamic Ansari is being touted.

Plunkett is higher in the pecking order than Footitt

Is a Plunk more than a Foot?

Brass Monkey wrote:Plunkett is higher in the pecking order than Footitt

Possibly, but Footit adds variety,we have enough bang it in merchants without him.

Footitt HAS to get a run. Bails needs that sort of name target.

F*ckw*t (e.g.) might be one. 0-80 would trigger it automatically.

You'd think they'll go with two specialist spinners plus Moeen. Ansari has been mentioned.

Henry wrote:Ansari has been mentioned.

Has he?

Henry wrote: Ansari has been mentioned.

What was the question?

There are rumours that Ian Bell is set to announce his retirement, or at least take the Winter off.

Oh no! He's been like a rock for us in times of need. Especially, say, in the UAE last time - he was a veritable colossus. You'll be missed, Ian, but we'll soldier on. We will get by.

He doesn't fancy Christmas in Durban. What is wrong with the man?

TBF, he's quietly gone on every England tour ever for the last 10 years - no fuss. If he's asking for a break, he deserves it (regardless of whether he should actually be in the side). 284 international matches for England. It's plenty. Don't like the fact that Cook is urging him not to do what he wants to do... selfish prick.

I doubt Cook would publicly say "Yeah, the ugly little elf can f*ck off".

But being an English cricketer is tough. Hectic schedule, and intense media and public scrutiny. And we've seen the likes of Trescothick and Trott crack. Perhaps the Belf is the latest one.

Henry wrote:I doubt Cook would publicly say "Yeah, the ugly little elf can f*ck off".

But being an English cricketer is tough. Hectic schedule, and intense media and public scrutiny. And we've seen the likes of Trescothick and Trott crack. Perhaps the Belf is the latest one.

Maybe it's him 'cracking', maybe he just can't be bothered. Regardless of how he's performed, I expect he thinks he's done enough. 10 years chock-a-block, with only the occasional dropping, model employee... big service.

Henry wrote:But being an English cricketer is tough.

awwwwww. poor widdle bellfy

Brass Monkey wrote:TBF, he's quietly gone on every England tour ever for the last 10 years - no fuss. If he's asking for a break, he deserves it (regardless of whether he should actually be in the side). 284 international matches for England. It's plenty. Don't like the fact that Cook is urging him not to do what he wants to do... selfish prick.

Maybe the urging is just going through the media motions, so to speak.

With a well-rounded home life yourself, you can hardly argue against someone else wanting to take time off. From the Bails shellacking, apart from the gloves, helmet and willow stuff.

He's probably taken one look at the schedule (21 tests by the start of the 2017 season) and thought f*ck that for a game of soldiers.

Dello wrote:Dread. Call off the tour. Phone in a bomb hoax or something.

Why bother with the hoax.