2017 sucks ......

Hello all ..... long time no post I know - I've looked in a time or two, and I'm glad to see the place hasn't folded completely. In all honesty, I've not really had anything to say, either profound insight/analysis, or complete bollocks - I'll let you judge which is more prolific from my keyboard. That said, I have missed the banter with you, as I do consider you all friends. Yes, I've disagreed with many of you, on many issues at one time or other - but the thing I respect most about you all is that without exception, discussion has remained civil and friendly every single time. With hindsight, I wish I'd posted earlier. I feel sure I'd have got a few virtual "friendly man-hugs", which I really could have done with a few  times.

So, why does 2017 suck?

Some of you may recall that my youngest grandson was born 15 weeks premature, at less than 2lbs weight. He turned five last week, but still has health problems. His eyesight is very poor, he has bugger all immune system so picks up every snotty cold & tummy bug within a mile of him, and he's not putting on the weight he should be. He'll be OK, but you still worry don't you?

About the same time as he was born, Mrs Growler's mum had a mastectomy, followed by radiotherapy and chemo, which were successful. Fast forward to early last year and she needed a hip replacement, which was duly performed early last December. Due to her home being 30 miles away from all the family, she spent about six weeks between us, Mrs G's brother, and her daughter. She went home mid February mobile and independent, although one of us went down to check on her each week. At the end of the month, she got a letter following a mammogram saying that she needed further tests.

We then found out (by accident) that she'd been suffering from almost constant indigestion, and back pain - which then became pain in her shoulder. At the beginning of April, Mrs G ad a gut feeling that mum wasn't telling us all that was really going on, so went to stay for a few days. It was only then that she learned that mum wasn't eating enough to keep a three year old nourished, and was so weak that if she lay flat out on the sofa that she couldn't get up. Oh, I didn't mention that two weeks earlier Mrs G had come down our 12 stairs in only three steps, severely knackering her ankle in the progress (it's still not fully healed). Lugging her mum around the house was like doing a tug-o-war,

Later in the week, mum got out of bed for a pee and buggered over, smacking her head in the process - which resulted in an ambulance ride in a very confused state. That was Friday night (April 7th), and we really didn't think she'd see Saturday night. On Monday because she was so confused on admission, they carried out a brain scan, and found lesions. The prognosis was that she would not survive more than a few months. The bone scan results turned a few months into a few weeks, and we lost her on May 10th ..... the funeral was yesterday.

Looking back over the last six months, we now realise all the signs were there, but none of us joined the dots. After a week in hospital, the medics didn't only join the dots, they coloured in the bloody picture, and it was The Reaper himself. You really don't expect your loved one to be admitted to hospital for a fall, to be dead from secondary cancer 5 weeks later give or take a few days. I say secondary cancer, it may be malnutrition ....... honestly, you will all eat more for your next meal than mum had all her while in hospital.

It's immaterial though. Cancer is still a qunt, and always will be. Anyhow, that's the reason for my absence from here, and the reason why 2017 sucks.

mum

So sorry to hear of the shitty 2017 you've had, Growls.

Virtual hugs are nearly as good as the real thing. Yes, you could easily have shared your dramas here and the virtual hugs would've been many and varied.

RIP to your dear Ma-in-law. Sounds like she's now in much more peace than she was in the past 6 months.

I hope your little grandson battles on. Premy kids always seem to do it tough. My brother's first child popped out at 30 weeks. She is small but going great guns at 25 now.

Also wish your wife all the best from the Forum. She's obviously been doing it tough as well.

Hang in there, buddy. Speaking from experience (13 shit years from 2001 to 2014 - wife's cancer, daughter's anorexia), things do get better.

Take care, man. Great to see you back.

Hi Growls, good to see you back, but sad to hear the news. Only last week I was wondering where you are as I often saw you logged in without posting but realized I hadn't even seen that.

Don't be a stranger.

Sorry to read that, Growls. Take care.

Hi Growls, sad to read about your family's travails. You have been missed. Agree with the above, don't be a stranger

I concur about 2017. I lost a close friend earlier this year to the same disease.
Nice to see you back though.

Welcome back Growls, we are better for your coming.

I am so sorry for your loss. Somehow when I got to the part where you spoke of the back pain, I thought it would be the big C, as I've heard of folks with the same symptoms once or twice and who had the same ultimate diagnosis.

May she Rest in Peace, may your grandchild get stronger and may you and your wife have a better 2017 and after.

Best wishes Growls

Best wishes from me too. There is a lot of suffering in the world and lot of resilience to match it.

Nice to see you, Growls, and Red, that's one of the best posts I've ever seen you make.

It would be easy to say, what can I say? or there are no words ... reading of all those real horrors piled up together.

But, poor as words are on such occasions, my sympathies and best wishes too, Growler. I hope you and yours find a way through, support networks, reserves of courage, and basic humanity in spite of it all.

My sympathies Growler, I know exactly how you're feeling.

Like Skully says, it may not seem like it now but you will feel better. The crappy memory of the last year will fade and you'll begin to only remember the moments that made you smile and laugh when you remember her.

Thank you all so much for the kind words. I appreciate them more than you'll ever know.

We're both fine, really. There's naturally sadness, but it's tempered by a huge sense of relief (especially for Mum herself) - it would have been far worse it dragging on and on.

The week mum was admitted into hospital, my neighbour of 30 years died aged 83. He was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 10 years ago, but wasn't really "ill" until the last couple of years. The deterioration was awful to watch. He was a skilled machine tool fitter/operator, fit and strong. I watched him turn into a helpless husk of the man I first met - rather like my ex father in law who died less than 2 years after diagnosis of motor neurone disease.

That unholy trinity (cancer, alzheimers and MND) are bloody cruel, there's no other word for them. Death was a merciful release, hence we do look back to the good times, rather than the end days.

Anyway, looking forward - summer is here (missed spring of course), Lions tour is ongoing, England rugger squad in Argentina, TdF soon, ICCCT semi (not real cricket I know, but it's here and I'd sooner us win it than not, of course). My son will turn 26 in a few weeks so will try and have a few days with him. Not so easy as he is in Glasgow, and very busy ..... coming towards the end of his third year of his PhD in electronic engineering. He's working in nanotechnology research and manufacturing. I though I was fairly clever but the lad makes me look like a clueless chod.

So no time for pity parties, and I'll be looking to stick my tuppence worth once more on here.