The Tom Lehrer appreciation thread

[Big Dog]

Tom Lehrer was one of comedy's great paradoxes -- a respected Harvard mathematics professor by day, he also ranked among the foremost song satirists of the postwar era, recording vicious, twisted parodies of popular musical trends which proved highly influential on the "sick comedy" revolution of the 1960s.


One of my favorites;

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional.
There the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman;
Ave Maria,
Gee, it's good to see ya.
Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!

[Big Dog]

...and another:






Spring is here, ah spring is here
Life is skittles,
Life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring,
I do, don't you? 'course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes a evr'y Sunday a treat for me.

all the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
Ev'ry Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coimg the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide
The sun's shing bright,
Ev'ry thing seems all right
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We've gained notoriety
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games
They call it impiety
And lack or propriety
And quite a variety
Of unpleasent names

But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon!

so if Sunday your free
Why don't you come with me
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two
While we're poisoning the pigeons in the park

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriement
Except for the few we take home to experiment
My pulse will be quicknin'
With each drop of strick'nine
We give to a pigeon
It just takes a smigdeon!
To poison a pigeon in the park.

[Winkle Spinner]

*adopts bad russian accent*

Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote?
Who's the professor that made me that way,
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?

One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
and Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize...
Only be sure always to call it please, "research".

And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same,
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...

I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write. It
was on Analytic and Algebraic Topology of Locally Euclidean Metrization
of Infinitely Differentiable Riemannian Manifold.
Bozhe moi!
This I know from nothing.
But I think of great Lobachevsky and I get idea - haha!

I have a friend in Minsk,
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Whose friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
Whose friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.

And when his work is done -
Haha! - begins the fun.
From Dnepropetrovsk
To Petropavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk,
And Novorossiysk,
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk
To Pinsk to Minsk
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!

And then I write
By morning, night,
And afternoon,
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,
When he finds out I published first!

And who made me a big success
And brought me wealth and fame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Oy!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobache...


I am never forget the day my first book is published.
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book, this book was sensational!
Pravda - ah, Pravda - Pravda said:

"Zhil byl korol' kogda-to, Pri njom blokha zhila" ("It stinks").
But Izvestia! Izvestia said:
"Ya idu kuda sam tzar' peshkom hodil" ("It stinks").
Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva bought the movie rights for six million rubles,
Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle',
With Bridgitte Bardot playing part of hypotenuse.


And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Oy!

[DJ_Smerk]

Who is this person you all worship...Tom Lehrer and why has he taken over this thread?

[horace]

Tom Lehrer was also a champion of civil rights and (this will be a shock to you Big Dog) very close to the US Communist Party...interestingly he turned his back on making a rich income out of his music and returned to teaching maths

[Big Dog]

Tom Lehrer was also a champion of civil rights and (this will be a shock to you Big Dog) very close to the US Communist Party...interestingly he turned his back on making a rich income out of his music and returned to teaching maths

No suprise to me Horrie, i've been a fan for a couple of decades. He did'nt turn his back completely. He still does the occasional concert.

[Big Dog]

One of his more 'biting' satires:-
Wernher Von Braun was largely responsible for Germanys V2 rocket program. After the war his 'sins' were overlooked so he could work for Americas rocket program.

Gather 'round while I sing you of Wernher von Braun
A man whose allegiance
Is ruled by expedience
Call him a Nazi, he won't even frown
"Ha, Nazi, Schmazi" says Wernher von Braun

Don't say that he's hypocritical
Say rather that he's apolitical
"Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?
That's not my department" say Wernher von Braun

Some have harsh words for this man of renown
But some think our attitude
Should be one of gratitude
Like the widows and cripples in old London town
Who owe their large pension to Wernher von Braun

You too may be a big hero
Once you've learned to count backwards to zero
"In German, oder English, I know how to count down
Und I'm learning Chinese!" says Wernher von Braun

[peterg]

Lehrer said he gave up composing songs when Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace prize.
You just couldn't write satire as good as that.

[filosofee]

Lehrer said he gave up composing songs when Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace prize.
You just couldn't write satire as good as that.

Brilliant!

[horace]

a wonderful man

[lardbucket]

missed this ... bump

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