The post-match press conference we might as well have had

Hayden does the right thing and pulls plug. NSP plump for unknown.

"I think we all need to thank Matt for the sterling work he's done, especially in the past few months," Hilditch said when asked about Hayden finally announcing his retirement after the MCG Test.

"He was in the side because all of us on the selctors have been far too busy sucking back free cold ones at the match we've attended to actually watch any of the games.

"As a result, I'm delighted to say that MCG bartender Aldo Panagiotou will open the batting for Australia at the SCG. Sure, the guy might ever have set foot on a Test pitch, but given the way he pours a cold one, he deserves the opportunities he has been given. He might have a rough trot to start with, but we believe he will be every bit as good at Matthew has been lately.

"Aldo is very keen to score runs in Sydney, as anybody we pick for the team would be, and when we told him how Haydos was disappointed as anybody that he hasn't had an impact on the series against South Africa. He said 'F*ck me, I could do better. I'd even drive meself to Sydney to do it'. After another couple of frothies, Boonie, Merv and I decided to take him up on his offer.

"We will sit down at the end of the series and analyse how the team has gone. And in about four weeks, we will sit down and pick the South African tour which is very important for us. But I can't see any porblems with the guys we've chosen so far. Sure Brett might be injured, but we showed in Melbourne that picking an injured Andrew Symonds worked. I suppose we could look at recalling Sir Don Bradman to the side, just because he's dead it shouldn't hamper his ability.

"We will see how we're going, see how the series went, and make changes if necessary. But it is very important from our perspective, it is not a time for chopping and changing a side. We're prepared to lose seventeen Tests in a row if we have to"

Asked if he was surprised that Hayden had suddenly decided to retire after Melbourne, Hilditch said: "I was. After all, we were perfectly willing to keep selecting him until his 50th birthday on the basis of the way he was practising, his form in the middle actually means nothing."

3-watt-globe Ponting added: "Back to your point about the potential for the SCG to have been Matthew Hayden's testimonial game, if he'd gone out there and made a hundred or a big score in that game, well it certainly wouldn't have been (a testimonial). And even if we'd lost, there still would have been plenty of time to fight our way back into the series."