Leading England-qualified players in county cricket

Highest CC runscorers - Div 1:

M Trescothick 1745 (avge 79.31/FC career 39.97/age 33) 76 Tests, int'l retired
M Carberry 1251 (69.50/42.27/28)
J Trott 1162 (89.38/44.93/28) 1 Test
A Suppiah 1096 (47.65/34.19/26)
J Adams 1093 (52.04/34.74/28)
C Kieswetter 998 (55.44/37.92/21) wicketkeeper; qualifies 2010
C Nash 981 (57.70/37.22/26)
I Bell 972 (60.75/43.33/27) 49 Tests
J Sayers 967 (42.04/34.18/25)
C Read 943 (78.58/35.42/31) wicketkeeper, 15 Tests
E Joyce 834 (44.47/44.37/30)

Highest CC runscorers - Div 2:

M Ramprakash 1350 (90.00/54.32/40) 52 Tests
G Jones 1158 (50.34/33.79/33) wicketkeeper, 34 Tests
J Taylor 1148 (71.75/51.45/19)
U Afzaal 1066 (53.30/39.01/32) 3 Tests
R Key 1020 (56.66/42.33/30) 15 Tests
(Not worth going down the list any further in Div 2 - TAYPOC!)

Proves the selectors are quite limited in what they have to work with. Chris Read and Geraint Jones among the top England-qualified batsmen? They weren't even good enough to bat 7 in Tests!

Bowlers to follow...

beamer wrote:

Bowlers to follow...

I'm sure you'll struggle to find any better than Joe Dawes ....

James Harris.

Can I propose 'Bedwetter' for Keiswetter?

Or has that been 'done'

spangler wrote:Can I propose 'Bedwetter' for Keiswetter?

Or has that been 'done'

Dello did it, you thiefqunt.

I noted the f*cker and have circulated it like the clap in a tight-knit 'group'.

Show me the evidence that he has.

I want mothaf*cking DNA evidence thrown in my face.

I won't rest till you do.

spangler wrote:Show me the evidence that he has.

I want mothaf*cking DNA evidence thrown in my face.

I won't rest till you do.

Strangely, I find the search function so shitehouse that I cannot even find posts/threads with the word 'and'. But I can point you in the right direction, it's one of the threads within the first 6 pages. It was within a three month period. May have been an England squad thread, or the county thread. who knows. Alls I know it that I sniggered and thought to myself "Oh gosh, that Dello chap has come up with a pearler there..."

Are you sure you didn't just imagine it and really you're a 'Dello-is-God' fantasist and the very idea of a genuine humdinger of a pearler can be attributed to anyone but Dello hurts you to your very core and shakes your whole belief system?

Are you sure?

Actually I reckon Fred Nerk did it first, either that or he gives Dello his comedic inspritation...

'Is 'kies' the Afrikaaner word for 'bed'?' July 1st,2008

http://www.flamingbails.com/the-flaming-bails-cricket-forum-f1/kieswetter-reveals-england-ambition-t3190.htm?highlight=kieswetter

F*cking Australians.

But I guess a 1000 monkeys and 1000 typewriter and all that.

And that thread was started by Red. No surprises there

Hmmm, July 1st eh? Maybe, I was thinking maybe Juneish. Maybe not. Either way, it's a f*cking quality nick and one that'll stick.

Dello isn't God. He's a very naughty boy.

Anyway, congrats to one or both of Dello and Nerk. Good shit.

Spang, now I've thought about it, you probably had already seen bedwetter on here and shamelessly tried to bundle it off as your own. You threw it out there to see if anyone remember the Nerk or Dello moniker. You dishonourable f*ckface - that goes against the spirit of the forum. Ask RobI Ponting.

Brass Monkey wrote:Hmmm, July 1st eh? Maybe, I was thinking maybe Juneish. Maybe not. Either way, it's a f*cking quality nick and one that'll stick.

Dello isn't God. He's a very naughty boy.

Anyway, congrats to one or both of Dello and Nerk. Good shit.

Spang, now I've thought about it, you probably had already seen bedwetter on here and shamelessly tried to bundle it off as your own. You threw it out there to see if anyone remember the Nerk or Dello moniker. You dishonourable f*ckface - that goes against the spirit of the forum. Ask RobI Ponting.

I know there's too many forum anoraks to shamelessly try get away with any form of plaigerism. It was an honest attempt to enrich lives and you accuse me of being dishonourable?! Dishonourable?! I'll dishonourably f*ck you with a jiffy bag if I catch you chatting breeze like that again.

Sorry. It still hurts that I wasn't first.

Chatting breeze eh? I coined that f*cker many a year ago. I don't mind other people using it. I'm sure Dello/Nerk wouldn't mind you using Bedwetter.

Jiffy bag sex? You're in sicker realms than me, I bow to your depravity.

That's right, go ahead and pretend to be all street. I've figured you out now. You're the Mudge of leeching onto 'the street', you purvey what the cool kids do and then pass it off as your own discovery or invention like Mudge does with 14 year old cricketers.

It's sick. And wrong.

Jiffy bag sex is the 'bomb'. try it, you won't go back.

Spang - I'm from 'tha hood'. It says so on Wikipedia.

We coined such phrases as 'dark' and 'sick' plus one or two more and some others that didn't catch on like 'gorb', 'piehead' and one or two more. That's just the way it happened. Oh, and that finger-flick thing that Ali G ended up using. That was ours.

Chatting breeze was around '92 I reckon.

There goes the story of a few that touched so many.

You are Ali G. Bastardising it for your own perverted kicks.

I live the street, cut me open and I bleed red, FUBU and grime and shit. We don't maf*ckin' business.

For me, Street is a way of life. For you it's a holiday to Six Flags. Or Chessington.

What's this then? Some kind of gangsta forum rap-off?

It will be when I get out my Gat and spit.

My Smith and Wessy got you layin in some alley messy
Got yo' family lookin for your ass on Sally Jesse
We squash beef in the mo', when you ain't breathin no more
Leavin your skull split like Steven Seagal
Let the cat out, flat out, Northampton's a mad house
So I don't get offended when I hear my town badmouthed
We quick to pull the gat out and set it
And leave you with more shit missin than a Lil' Kim radio edit

Big Yak Style baby. Brap brap.

It's got you hypnotized,
no beat too hard to ride
like love will be shaking, here we'll be waiting,
cuz i don't play nice,
this tune should be hittin' you,
should be splittin' you so,
close your eyes,
cuz love will be shaking, here we'll be waiting,
cuz i don't play nice

They call me MC Burt Reynolds
The first level dirt devil
Gettin into your biscuits
right across the Eastern Districts
You shit stinks, your lyrics pong - where'd ya get them from?
they belong on www dot rate my poo dot com.

Aww, look at you two exchanging poems.

He had me at 'jiffy bag'.