Put up a Christmas tree yet?

My dad bought this rather puny box on a sale and I volunteered to put up his dainty little bonsai, even though I won't be around to spend Christmas with them. Turned out this tightly packed green mass was in six pieces, and the bloody thing could house and feed an entire extended Zimbabwean refugee family for six months. Straightening out the branches took hours - and I've only just started on the lights, never mind the baubles...

I'm an infidel. I don't do Christmas. Except the taking a holiday, celebrating, over eating, hallooing Merry Christmas at all and sundry, getting blind drunk part of it. That part is nice.

Damn your Christmas tree.

furriner wrote:I'm an infidel. I don't do Christmas. Except the taking a holiday, celebrating, over eating, hallooing Merry Christmas at all and sundry, getting blind drunk part of it. That part is nice.

Damn your Christmas tree.

I think that makes us all infidels then

furriner wrote:I'm an infidel. I don't do Christmas. Except the taking a holiday, celebrating, over eating, hallooing Merry Christmas at all and sundry, getting blind drunk part of it. That part is nice.

Damn your Christmas tree.

I did, but it doesn't seem to take the hint. And it isn't mine. Maybe I should move it in front of the TV, where my dad may do something about it once he realises the remote doesn't work on it.

Why Daffy Duck, mynah?

I'm getting ours at the weekend, there will much, "hold it straight", "turn to the left", "turn to the right" and hacking off of the bottom branches before it's perfect and slightly lop-sided.......

Ours went up at the weekend - couldn't put it off any longer!

Basil wrote:Ours went up at the weekend - couldn't put it off any longer!

Bah Humbug!

Watch out for door knockers starting to talk to you, Mr Lever.......

eowyn wrote:I'm getting ours at the weekend, there will much, "hold it straight", "turn to the left", "turn to the right" and hacking off of the bottom branches before it's perfect and slightly lop-sided.......

Don't you find that completely effs up the fiber optics if you go chopping the bottom about?

I don't do chavy Christmas decorations.

Basil wrote:Ours went up at the weekend - couldn't put it off any longer!

Married with kids, then.

eowyn wrote:I don't do chavy Christmas decorations.

Ouch.

We're getting ours from the farm up the road on Saturday. It's a big event and I LOVE it.

All the magic of Christmas has gone for me.


Ever since I was told the story about the capon. Does anyone want to hear it?

I didn't ask you to say no. I asked you whether you wanted to hear the story about the capon.

Go ahead then. What's the story about Rushdie?

I didn't ask you to say go ahead. I asked whether anybody wanted to hear the story about the capon.

Are you drunk already, wastrel?

LLL, you need a slap.

I didn't ask you to tell me I'm drunk, I asked whether anybody wanted to hear the story about the capon.

And I certainly didn't ask you to tell me I needed a slap. I asked whether you wanted to hear the story about the capon.

No I don't want to hear the story about the capon.

I didn't ask you to say no, I asked you whether you wanted to hear the story about the capon.


BGARK! BGARK!!

If anyone anywhere ever wants to know, I'm sure they'll PM you.