England v India, 4th Test, Old Trafford, 7-11 August, 2014

And have possibly lost Broad.

Where's that f*cking rain?

It's there, check out the parade.

India falling apart to the Beard that's Feared once again.

What a weird summer it's been...

This is actually pathetic.

Run out, going for a crazy second, trying to save the game. Or trying to look like they're trying to save the game. Embarrassing.

Hope it rains all day on Sunday and Monday just to rub in how dismal this effort has been from India.

Complete lemons.

Dello wrote:Run out, going for a crazy second, trying to save the game. Or trying to look like they're trying to save the game. Embarrassing.

Hope it rains all day on Sunday and Monday just to rub in how dismal this effort has been from India.

Or why Cook should have declared at lunch.

Remarkable that it took them four Tests to pick Ashwin. How can you go on tour and not play your best batsman?

beamer wrote:Remarkable that it took them four Tests to pick Ashwin. How can you go on tour and not play your best batsman?

Doesn't he bowl a bit as well?

Start the car. Only Pankaj Martin to bat now.

Jordan cleans them up. Bow down to Dello for picking this exceptionally abject performance - I couldn't pick this ridiculous display of 'cricket'.

Dello wrote:Start the car. Only Pankaj Martin to bat now.

Oh. In the time it took to type that, he came, saw and was conquered all over the shop like an overgrown spacker.

Dello wrote:

Dello wrote:Start the car. Only Pankaj Martin to bat now.

Oh. In the time it took to type that, he came, saw and was conquered all over the shop like an overgrown spacker.

Has an FC average of 14, not quite sure how.

Dello wrote:

Henry wrote:Almost time to go the tonk. Get 100-150 ahead as quickly as possible. The forecast for the next few days is lousy.

Saturday's fine. Sunday and Monday looking a write off.

Honestly, England only need one more day of cricket to win this game. India won't bat more than two sessions.

Fair call.

beamer wrote:

Dello wrote:

Dello wrote:Start the car. Only Pankaj Martin to bat now.

Oh. In the time it took to type that, he came, saw and was conquered all over the shop like an overgrown spacker.

Has an FC average of 14, not quite sure how.

Flat as a Pankaj pitches? Dobby Indian bowlers?

Not bad. I agree with Dello, India have given up.

Brass Monkey wrote:Jordan cleans them up. Bow down to Dello for picking this exceptionally abject performance - I couldn't pick this ridiculous display of 'cricket'.

I thought my tip was on dodgy ground when StuBo nipped off for a rhinoplasty, but I underestimated just how abysmal India could be.

Seven wickets given up to Chris Woakes, Chris Jordan and Moeen Ali. Wowsers.

Still, what do you expect? Their captain swans around like he's above it all and couldn't give two shits about Test cricket - it's little wonder the rest of the team has so little fight.

Meek surrender in two and half days. Abject.

Brass Monkey wrote:

beamer wrote:

Dello wrote:

Dello wrote:Start the car. Only Pankaj Martin to bat now.

Oh. In the time it took to type that, he came, saw and was conquered all over the shop like an overgrown spacker.

Has an FC average of 14, not quite sure how.

Flat as a Pankaj pitches? Dobby Indian bowlers?

Yeah, there's batsmen who average 60 over there and can't cut it in Test cricket. Whereas if you can top 40 in county cricket you've got a chance of making it at the highest level.

Gower, Hussain and Strauss having a wankfest in the studio.

I just threw up in my mouth.

taipan wrote:Gower, Hussain and Strauss having a wankfest in the studio.

I just threw up in my mouth.

So that's how you keep your svelte figure.

Brass Monkey wrote:170/6. Moeen looks shaky. Thought he was an unflappable sort of batsman, but was set up a treat there....

I didn't think at this stage of the summer we'd be more concerned with Moeen's deficiencies with the bat than with the ball.

It's all very weird.

Dello wrote:

taipan wrote:Gower, Hussain and Strauss having a wankfest in the studio.

I just threw up in my mouth.

So that's how you keep your svelte figure.

Yep, better than shitting in my pants.

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:170/6. Moeen looks shaky. Thought he was an unflappable sort of batsman, but was set up a treat there....

I didn't think at this stage of the summer we'd be more concerned with Moeen's deficiencies with the bat than with the ball.

It's all very weird.

He has solved England's spin problem for years. Apparently.

I wouldn't say he's done that, but I doubt we'll bother choosing anyone for quite a while - probably the 4th Test of the Ashes when he's got tonked to f*ck in the first three. Reckon he'll fare well in the Windies.

I'm not too worried about his batting, overall. It was a Jaffa that got him really. I'm actually more concerned that when he's set, he gets a little loose in his strokeplay. He's got to keep his concentration like he did against SL in that exceptional innings.