England v Ireland ODI

Is this their first official ODI outside WCs?

I note some interesting selections in the absence of Morgan (most recent ODI captain) and half the side currently in the West Indies.

I see some names championed by Dello and Danny for a year or two have been selected, and that Chiv Augustus' crush will be captain.

SQUAD

I will be watching the performances of Vince, Roy, Willey, Lewis Gregory et al with interest. At least they now know they are on the radar ...

Do they all have surnames that could also be christian names?

Nice spot, Wally.

Jordan could be in there too, but I'm not sure about Hales.

I see the old England policy of "if in doubt, call up Tim f*cking Bresnan" is still very much in place.

You might've thought Finn could never be selected again, given what a festering shitwad he's become, but I read him quoted the other day saying he was "nearly back" to his best (again), so knew that would be enough to convince England to fawn all over him once more.

It's a fun looking squad, anyway. Frankly, the majority of the Test team out in the Windies have no place playing ODIs in any case.

Vince, Hales, Roy and Billings are the kind of batsmen they should be investing in. And David Willey would've probably been on the international scene already but for England injuring the f*ck out of him during their ridiculously inept "strength and conditioning programme" a year or so ago.

It'll be rained off...

Where is Jade Dernbach?

Ansari? Always found him to be a bit overrated. Doesn't turn the ball when bowling, and struggles to get it off the square when batting. Yep, get him in the England ODI squad.

Is he the new Michael Yardy, Trev?

David Willey bowled second change for Subi Floreat for two seasons

Spoiler:

embee wrote:David Willey bowled second change for Subi Floreat for two seasons

Spoiler:

There's an Indian team in Perth?

SKLP

play in the perth cricket association

Well, cool and all that. But they're only smelly seconds... playing a smelly country. They've been sent over to keep the seats warm for the more dashing and dynamic likes of Cook, Trott and Bell. The bowling attack is complete filth. Complete filth.


It'll be rained off...

No, seriously - Tim Bresnan though. Is he the option? Is he the one that, at the age of 34.5 by the time the next WC comes around, is going to carry this attack forward? I can get Ansari, Finn etc. on the basis that they'll be of a passable age (even though they're dire). But Bresnan? What a completely catastrophic pick that is. He's been tried and tested, he's failed time and again. Averaging 35 in ODIs. That sticks in my craw so far that you may as well pull it out of my arse to get it out. What a total shambles of a pick. Such warped insanity that I'd have to take an enormous amount of hallucinogens on some lonely mountain top just to begin to try and understand what that selection is about. I'd need to be beaten severely into a coma just to be comfortable with that exceptionally obtuse selection. It defies belief. Ooh, did you know he's made a slight change in his action?? Big freaking deal. The only reason I haven't thrown my mouse across the room in complete rage is because there's a generous breasted horndog that I don't really want to harm at this current juncture. I mean, what sort of retard would pick a 30yo damaged goods lemon, in preparation for the next WC which takes place in 4 years time? What sort of dribbling mong-headed tosswit would think to waste even one more ODI on this pedigree of failures? Some cocoa-oriented jizz-gargler, I suppose. The sort of donkey who blames the players he's picked rather than himself for picking them. What a massive qunt.

Maybe he is the quota Yorkie.

lardbucket wrote:Is he the new Michael Yardy, Trev?

Without the bouts of depression, perhaps. But give him a couple of years around this England setup....

This looks like more of an England development squad. Hav'nt even heard of a couple of their selections.

Brass Monkey wrote:No, seriously - Tim Bresnan though. Is he the option? Is he the one that, at the age of 34.5 by the time the next WC comes around, is going to carry this attack forward? I can get Ansari, Finn etc. on the basis that they'll be of a passable age (even though they're dire). But Bresnan? What a completely catastrophic pick that is. He's been tried and tested, he's failed time and again. Averaging 35 in ODIs. That sticks in my craw so far that you may as well pull it out of my arse to get it out. What a total shambles of a pick. Such warped insanity that I'd have to take an enormous amount of hallucinogens on some lonely mountain top just to begin to try and understand what that selection is about. I'd need to be beaten severely into a coma just to be comfortable with that exceptionally obtuse selection. It defies belief. Ooh, did you know he's made a slight change in his action?? Big freaking deal. The only reason I haven't thrown my mouse across the room in complete rage is because there's a generous breasted horndog that I don't really want to harm at this current juncture. I mean, what sort of retard would pick a 30yo damaged goods lemon, in preparation for the next WC which takes place in 4 years time? What sort of dribbling mong-headed tosswit would think to waste even one more ODI on this pedigree of failures? Some cocoa-oriented jizz-gargler, I suppose. The sort of donkey who blames the players he's picked rather than himself for picking them. What a massive qunt.  

I have a feeling they're using this game to gently bring him back into the fold for a return to the test team this summer. The ECB love a bit of Bressie lad - and his record (in their eyes) against Australia is awesome. I reckon they had a big circle jerk-off sesh in the Long Room at Lord's when his name came up.

I wonder if they were playing Dungeons and Dragons and their game has restarted. Jameth alwayth wanth to be Tim Bwethnan.

Has to be something like that... all avenues of logic laugh in the face of Tim Tom Bresnan. He's the licking plug sockets equivalent of England ODI cricket... well, if you exclude Ian Ronald Bell.

You could've literally picked anyone in front of Bresnan: someone as underachieving as Matt Coles, Patterson - Bresnan's teammate, someone particularly obscure like David Payne, heck - you could even have picked James Harris. Not because they're deserving of the shot, but because they haven't been repeatedly tried and found to be short of the mark.

Pick a batsman as a bowler, if you like, Ali Cook, maybe? Bat him at 9. The fact of the matter is Brezzy Lad is a flogged horse, the vultures are out and he's juicy carrion. It makes as little sense as picking him after the last WC failure in 2011 - which really worked out for the best.