England v Pakistan, 5th ODI, Southampton, 21 September

Geez, this place is going down the gurgler. Scrambling to start an official thread 20 minutes out from the start.

What the f*ck does Bresnan have to do to get dropped? sh!t on the pitch???

Dello! Fromage! Rikki this sh!t! When was the last time an England international game wasn't rikkied before it started? Has it ever happened?

Flaming Bails in crisis.

The game is underway and still no rikki. Dark days.......

[skully] DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED[/skully]

[JKBeaver]Sure is dead in here[/JKBeaver]


Pakistan off to a flyer!

(Bliksem) Ha, ha, England is $hit (/Bliksem)

Bliksem is consistently on the money.

Lowest England score at The Rosebowl - 228-9 against Oz last year.

Collingwood goes off with a migraine.

Morgan and Bell batting together.

This should be interesting. Both battling for Ashes spots, who will come out on top, and who will wither and die like the proverbial pancake?

Bell is already picking Ajmal according to Cricinfo.


What a guy.

These two should keep the score ticking over.

Collingwood's heads gone, now Bell's groin has gone.


Steve Davies is out there as a runner for Bell.


Croikey.

18.1 Shahid Afridi to Bell, no run, 54.2 mph, an appeal from Afridi and Kamran! The ball definitely hit the outside edge, but appeared to go straight down and bounce before popping up into Kamran's gloves... They think it may have bounced up off the boot, and Doctrove goes to the third umpire. Nope, straight into the ground. How did Kamran not see that?

Cause for concern, or just poor wicketkeeping?

DJ_Smerk wrote:Collingwood's heads gone, now Bell's groin has gone.


Steve Davies is out there as a runner for Bell.


Croikey.

Too easy...

Henry Nolonga wrote:

DJ_Smerk wrote:Collingwood's heads gone, now Bell's groin has gone.


Steve Davies is out there as a runner for Bell.


Croikey.

Too easy...

I must point out that Collingwood's head is nowhere near Bell's groin.

For the record, lads.

Cricinfo & Sky have both got it wrong by saying that Collingwood retired hurt when it should more properly be retired ill as he did not sustain an on-field injury. Of course one has to be wary of misreading this as one BBC announcer did many years ago when he stated that Hutton

retired 111

Bell & Morgan's 59 highest partnership for 4th wicket in an ODI at The Rose Bowl beating Tresco & Flintoff's 53 v. SL in 2004.

Correction: Bell & Morgan only put on 47 for the 4th wicket with Collingwood & Bell putting on 12 so the Treco & Fred record still stands. Apologies for the error.

240 might be OK... Poor start though.

Why is this not Rikkindered?

That was some innings by Morgan!

Man, Swann is continually astonishing. Best finger-spinner since when?

I thought Pakistan would go down fighting, instead they are just going through the motions now. It really turned on Kakmal's umpiring shocker but I guess under lights and with Swann bowling like this it probably would have gone this way sooner rather than later.

Great knock by Morgan again - in KP's absence he's the one player we have who can dominate an attack and play a genuine matchwinning innings.

beamer wrote:I thought Pakistan would go down fighting...

That's assuming they were ever playing to win...

Goodbye and good riddance Pakistan, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Now we can get round to playing some cricket without wondering if the other side is even trying win,lose, draw or 5-0 thumping.

Dello wrote:

beamer wrote:I thought Pakistan would go down fighting...

That's assuming they were ever playing to win...

I meant at least have a slog when they were 7 or 8 down and with no chance. May have been some pre-agreed scoring patterns of course!

It's the right result that England won the series, with all that's gone on in the last few weeks the players had a tough job remaining focused. Now it's time to start thinking about proper cricket against a team you know will always be trying to win.

Although, when England do surrender the Ashes five-zip, we'll all know it's only because that's the result they wanted.

Just like in '07. To pay off Freddie's drinking habit. Before the dodgy Indian bookies tried to drown him in a pedalo "accident". And then mistakenly took out Bob Woolmer because "fat, pasty English pig-dogs all look the same".

Bastards.