Worst cricketer to play for Worcs....?

Brass Monkey wrote:

Chivalry Augustus wrote:

Oh f*ck off. Smerky has at least started a thread with a mildly interesting name. People see Worcestershire and just think 'yeah, what the f*ck - who cares?' You see a thread entitled Adrian Shankar and you think 'woah, what's this about then? sounds like some sort of pirate.'

Worcestershire indeed. WGAF about f*cking Worcestershire? This is the real sh*t right here. I'm blessing this thread as the REAL Adrian Shankar thread. That other thread was just doing a Shankar, it was an imposter. It can go anally rape itself if it wants. Dour sweaty bullsh*t.

F*ck your mealy-mouthed wishes for eyecatching headlines. I'm telling it exactly how it is, it's sh!thouse. I'm calling a sh!thouse a sh!thouse. Deal with it... it doesn't matter what makes you shuffle your knuckles... a man got the 'scoop' and it wasn't this man right here, it wasn't the mad Welshman. It was Gary. Now have some common f*cking decency and give a person said props when scooping us all.

Suck it.

I'm gonna f*cking Shankar all you motherf*ckers. When Gary's been shankar-ed, who the f*ck's going to tell me they done it first then? No-one, that's who. You'll be sucking your own c*ck through a straw after I'm done with you and it won't be because you like to self-fellate (although I'm sure you do). If I'm in a forgiving mood and Gary's particularly lucky, I'll let him have a quick swig on the straw before I put that cry-baby motherf*cker to my shankar first.

DJ_Smerk wrote:But Gary has already won a fantasy football tournament, can I just win this one?

It's not about winning and losing, it's about fairness. I may well have thought that after 30-10,000 BESTS and WORSTS that it may not be the way to grab the eye. But people don't give journalistic Nobel prizes for simply grabbing the eye. If that were the case the Daily Sport would be the pinnacle of integrity. It's about getting the cold, hard facts in first and therefore hardest. You didn't do it. But you get kudos. Isn't that the main thing?

Oh, I bought me a shankar,
And slayed a welshie on it,
Yes I bought me a shankar
And I broke my dreams upon it

I bought me a shankar
And I gave it to my love,
I bought me a shankar
And I said it was a dove

I bought me sen a muthaf*cking shankar
And I said it was a house,
The best thing about this muthaf*cking shankar
Is it kills the f*cking welsh

Chivalry Augustus wrote:

I'm gonna f*cking Shankar all you motherf*ckers. When Gary's been shankar-ed, who the f*ck's going to tell me they done it first then? No-one, that's who. You'll be sucking your own c*ck through a straw after I'm done with you and it won't be because you like to self-fellate (although I'm sure you do). If I'm in a forgiving mood and Gary's particularly lucky, I'll let him have a quick swig on the straw before I put that cry-baby motherf*cker to my shankar first.

I had a dream I self-fellated and it was f*cking mega. But I don't see how going around throwing all these accusations, giving 'it Shankar' is ironing out the very point that Smerk could well have read Gary's thread, seen what it was all about and then attention-whored all the way to the metaphorical bank. So we, on the side of the pro-suck-no-shank block your Shankaring with slight disdain and burnishing resentment.

I WIN.

MY THREAD IS BETTER.

MY THREAD WAS FIRST.

I WAS THERE WHEN HE FIRST STARTED OUT.

I WAS SAT IN THE FRONT ROW CHEERING HIM ON.

ADRIAN SHANKAR TILL I DIE.

ADRIAN SHANKAR, BABY.

GIVE ME AN ADRIAN SHANKAR AND I'LL GIVE YOU TWO BACK.

F*CK ALL YOU SELL-OUT MOTHER F*CKERS.

YOU WEREN'T THERE.

YOU WEREN'T KEEPING IT REAL.

ADRIAN SHANKAR WAS A REAL MOTHER F*CKER.

DEAL
WITH
IT
YOU
C*NTS

Can we shankar Smerky now? Has it reached that point? Is it time to join the ULTIMATE SHANKAR RESISTANCE to the MEGA SHANKAR REBELLION and finally do away with Smerky?

I think it is. All this argument is frivolous. Smerky's the real danger here.

I've never seen the like in all my time here. I'm disappointed. I thought no, he can't have another ACTUALLY about SHANKAR. Him, James Taylor... you need help. Maybe from the gruffalos. Maybe from the fraggles. Maybe from asphyxiporn whilst asphyxiwanking. But you need it. And I'm going to PM Fromage AND Dello to see you get it.........

I give you DJ SMERK.

THIS IMPOSTER HAS BEEN LEADING YOU ASTRAY FOR YEARS. OSTENSIBLY A CRICKET-LOVING WELSH PERSON WHO SUPPORTS GLAMORGAN, I CAN NOW BRING TO LIGHT THE TRUTH OF DJ SMERK'S EXISTENCE. IT TURNS OUT THAT HE ISN'T EVEN WELSH AT ALL. HE IS IN FACT GERMAN! YES, THAT'S RIGHT. HE IS A GERMAN FARM-HAND WHO HAS CHEATED AND LIED HIS WAY INTO THIS COUNTRY AND TAKEN UP AN APPARENTLY HARMLESS EXISTENCE. HIS LOCAL CRICKET TEAM IS IN FACT THE MUNICH EX-PATS XI. HE IS ON THE RUN FROM HIS HOMELAND FOR STEALING VALUABLE SHEEP. HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME ON THE INTERNET IMPROVING HIS ENGLISH AND TRYING TO PURCHASE MAIL-ORDER SHEEP.

FROMAGE AND DELLO ARE POWERLESS. THEY LET ME OUT OF THE CAGE. THEY CAN'T PUT ME BACK IN THERE NOW. ONCE YOU LOOSE ME THERE'S NO STOPPING ME.

I told you. HE f*cked the Test up. HE told Shankar to do it. HE gave the world plantar fasciitis. The bloke's a menace. But he needs help.

I know, I'll PM Fromage AND Dello to make sure he gets it.

You wait here.

You're not the Undertaker. There are ways. Don't underestimate Fromage. He may have the persona of a dyspraxic cabbage and the wit of a pint of whiskey but he's got all kinds of power that he's too soulless to demonstrate. He'll f*ck you like a two bit hooker. Then chuck you out of his moving car like a one bit slapper. You'll be f*cked.

Has anyone asked Bas how he feels about this?

Ha haaa....

If I were bas, I'd probably take a week's sabbatical from this place. Maybe fresh up on my body-popping. Try and manufacture a way to get the robot working. Start practising my "biddy-biddy-biddy ummm, Buck, that does not compute". Pop, Lock, Robot, Voice. Standard techniques.

Why is Gussie yelling?

Didn't Bas have him on his ATG list?

Gary 111 wrote:But you've got to admire his pluck......

link

Er, what? Link snapped for legal reasons?

Here's another

Knew it. KNEW IT. Along comes Fromage, F's us all in the A. Makes us all look like waffle-loving scum-suckers. Great. Can I neg Fromage? If I can, I will!

Brass Monkey wrote:Knew it. KNEW IT. Along comes Fromage, F's us all in the A. Makes us all look like waffle-loving scum-suckers. Great. Can I neg Fromage? If I can, I will!

We aren't?

We are. But not to the extent that Fromage has now made us appear to. If he can get negged, he will

Brass Monkey wrote:We are. But not to the extent that Fromage has now made us appear to. If he can get negged, he will

Has the kaaskop made enough posts to retaliate?

Googled the mofo. Nice. I don't reckon he can be negged. I reckon I'd have done it already!