Re: England vs Sri Lanka, 2nd Test, Lords, June 3-7, 2011

by Brass Monkey Sat 04 Jun 2011, 12:49

beamer wrote:How does KP return to being that carefree, run-scoring, attack-dominating machine we saw in the first couple of years in international cricket?

Simple. Re-grow that "skunk" haircut. Like Fernando Torres, he lost it when he cut his hair and started to look less silly...

A tattoo. Another Englishy tattoo. Maybe a bulldog on his calf.

by Brass Monkey Sat 04 Jun 2011, 12:52

beamer wrote:Cook's in there to prepare him for taking over the Test captaincy, really. He can play the role of the "steady" player with a few aggressive young batsmen to follow.

Not sure what they're doing here by the way, 10 and 11 scratching around instead of a few overs at Tilly Dilly and Piranha before lunch.

But WILL there be a few aggressive young batsmen to follow??????? To my mind it'll be Trott 1st drop and then that utter sh!thouse qunt Ian Bell in!!! Talk about wasting powerplay balls with selfish sluggishness.......

As for the game, get as many as possible in the 1st innings, just get on with it, IMO. Tremlett's batting well. May as well have more of a chance to make them follow on.

by Brass Monkey Sat 04 Jun 2011, 12:53

JGK wrote:Chris Tremlett is a very long man.

Don't you say a word, he'll probably break his leg and never walk again. You'll have actually shortened him!

by Brass Monkey Sat 04 Jun 2011, 12:56

TONK! The lummoxes are on the tonk. Maybe skully's 500 isn't far off the mark! Nope he's out as I type. 486. As beef said, we'd have taken that at 22/3. Dello's sub-200 looks stupid. As does my 320, but I was sort of right really because we didn't reach 140/3.

by beamer Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:00

Brass Monkey wrote:
beamer wrote:Cook's in there to prepare him for taking over the Test captaincy, really. He can play the role of the "steady" player with a few aggressive young batsmen to follow.

Not sure what they're doing here by the way, 10 and 11 scratching around instead of a few overs at Tilly Dilly and Piranha before lunch.

But WILL there be a few aggressive young batsmen to follow??????? To my mind it'll be Trott 1st drop and then that utter sh!thouse qunt Ian Bell in!!! Talk about wasting powerplay balls with selfish sluggishness.......

Yeah, I think it will be more of the same with Cook just replacing Strauss. They need a rip it up and start again approach, really, as we do after every World Cup but never really manage!

by JKLever Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:03

Cracking mornings cricket, everyone loves a last wicket partnership! Might have wanted a couple at the Lankans before lunch though.

by beamer Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:06

At least Finn played some decent shots in the end, looked like he was just wasting time at first but the extra 20 or 30 runs could still be valuable. I suppose you're not safe in a game with anything less than 500 these days, and the follow-on could come into the equation as well. A wicket before lunch would perhaps have been more valuable than those extra runs though...

by LeFromage Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:13

Brass Monkey wrote:TONK! The lummoxes are on the tonk. Maybe skully's 500 isn't far off the mark! Nope he's out as I type. 486. As beef said, we'd have taken that at 22/3. Dello's sub-200 looks stupid. As does my 320, but I was sort of right really because we didn't reach 140/3.

It was sub-200 in dog years. So, in your face, dog cricketers.

486 in no time, having been put in and started like leper-brains is a heady outcome.

Looks a piece of piddle to bat on that wicket, though, and I fear England's three lanky 'uns (come on - that's the best pun ever) will forget about pitching the ball up and spend way too long peppering the middle of the pitch.

But we shall see...

by skully Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:16

Very handy 486 by England. Well done to the Porsche driver with excellent support from the Broadaxe, Trembles and Dorsal. I expect the Lankans to make a laboured 275, follow on and get rolled for 100 in the 2nd innings. Cool

by LeFromage Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:19

We'll take that, but I sniff a woof. Stop woofing us, you doggy bastard.

by LeFromage Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:22

beamer wrote:StuBro showing his value to the side here. Averaging not far short of 30, for a number 8 that is impressive. If he had to bat a place higher then he may not be as effective as there would perhaps be more pressure on him to get runs, but no reason why he couldn't be a Test number 7 at some stage if they have to accommodate an extra bowler or a keeper who is weaker with the bat.

Sure his bowling can be frustrating at times but he can find a game-changing spell on occasions and I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up with figures in the Flintoff league, low 30s with both bat and ball.

His batting's got no sense of permanence as he hits virtually everything in the air. Eight suits him fine, as some days he'll come off, others he'll pick out the fielders.

by JKLever Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:29

Still better in that position than Swanny, who can't play the short ball that well and is better suited to a run a ball biff at 9

by LeFromage Sat 04 Jun 2011, 13:31

Oh yeah, for sure. Swanny's batting is very enigmatic, to say the least.

Broad walks to the crease with some expectation that he might play properly and contribute towards a decent partnership.

by Brass Monkey Sat 04 Jun 2011, 14:50

Dello wrote:and I fear England's three lanky 'uns (come on - that's the best pun ever) will forget about pitching the ball up and spend way too long peppering the middle of the pitch.

Prophetic. Or just sensible.

Abominable so far. Can't believe I'm wishing for Swanny already.

by skully Sat 04 Jun 2011, 15:45

So the SLankans doing it easy so far? I expect this post to turn it all around for Engulund.

Fark me. Sitting here in the den with a frikkin pool party happening next door. Was I this loud as a farkin dozey 20 year old? These pricks can't string 3 words together without a "fark" or "qunt" at 120 decibels. It's now 12.45 am and the qunts are still making a ruckus. The 2 daughters have to get up and go to work at 7.00 am and the Chief's very off-colour. What should a man do? Give the qunts a massive spray and risk a beer bottle avalanche?

by Red Sat 04 Jun 2011, 15:48

skully wrote:So the SLankans doing it easy so far? I expect this post to turn it all around for Engulund.

Fark me. Sitting here in the den with a frikkin pool party happening next door. Was I this loud as a farkin dozey 20 year old? These pricks can't string 3 words together without a "fark" or "qunt" at 120 decibels. It's now 12.45 am and the qunts are still making a ruckus. The 2 daughters have to get up and go to work at 7.00 am and the Chief's very off-colour. What should a man do? Give the qunts a massive spray and risk beer bottle avalanche?

Cut off their power?

by skully Sat 04 Jun 2011, 15:49

With the bolt cutters? Their switch box has a padlock on it. FFS they are makin' some noise. Mad

I am so ready to go and give them a delux skully spray. They'll probably laugh and beat me to a pulp. Shocked

by Red Sat 04 Jun 2011, 15:54

skully wrote:With the bolt cutters? Their switch box has a padlock on it. FFS they are makin' some noise.

I am so ready to go and give them a delux skully spray. They'll probably laugh and beat me to a pulp.

What happened to the famous Skully ingenuity? Smile

by LeFromage Sat 04 Jun 2011, 15:56

Probably the worst England have bowled since... I don't know when.

Rotten.

Not to pick on Finn, as all the seamers have been a shambles, but I just don't get him. Every time I see him bowl, I'm left more underwhelmed than the last time.

He's a mystery to me. What's special about him? What's his USP? Just some tall bloke making up the numbers at the moment.

And if Cook is the third best slipper in that side, then the rest of the fielders must be one-armed clowns.

by beamer Sat 04 Jun 2011, 16:25

It is a one-dimensional attack, no out-and-out swing bowler, no skiddy pace bowler, no left-armer. The chances of Dirtbag getting a game in the next Test are increasing with every ball.

As for slips, we've lost most of our best ones in recent years. Colly was wasted there in a way but they had to have him there due to lack of alternatives, we're now seeing why I think.

by skully Sat 04 Jun 2011, 17:00

So the skyscraper attack + the Chin is copping some tap? This Dilshan chappie is a cheeky bugger.

I imagine he'll smoke us come August when we tour there, along with Sanga and Jaya.

by Yorkie Jill Sat 04 Jun 2011, 17:45

Aggers has just dropped a woof. They're playing perfectly. We shall see. Wish I could see this, for once. Wouldn't pay £60 to go tomorrow though. Is test cricket more expensive now England are 'good'?

by LeFromage Sat 04 Jun 2011, 19:11

London prices. AKA wanker tax.

by LeFromage Sat 04 Jun 2011, 19:35

beamer wrote:It is a one-dimensional attack, no out-and-out swing bowler, no skiddy pace bowler, no left-armer. The chances of Dirtbag getting a game in the next Test are increasing with every ball.

Wouldn't bet on it. The word from the England camp for the last fortnight is how unbelievably amazing Finn has been bowling in the nets. They're more than a little enamoured with him.

Which, as I said, is a mystery to me, as his action appears to be falling apart and he looks totally out of place in Test cricket. If this is him in unbelievable form, what's he like when he's bowling like a drain?

As for slips, we've lost most of our best ones in recent years. Colly was wasted there in a way but they had to have him there due to lack of alternatives, we're now seeing why I think.

I refuse to believe Trott, Pietersen, Bell or Morgan have worse hands than Cook. Possibly throw Broad in there too.

by Brass Monkey Sat 04 Jun 2011, 20:03

Dello wrote:Probably the worst England have bowled since... I don't know when.

Rotten.

Yeah, for quite a while, really. The attack just bowled stupidly short most of the time. When they did pitch it up they were wayward.

Dello wrote:
And if Cook is the third best slipper in that side, then the rest of the fielders must be one-armed clowns.

Yeah, Cook's no use as a slipper, probably the worst one in quite a few years... I'm trying to remember.... definitely since Nasser... but worse....

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