England vs Sri Lanka, 2nd Test, Lords, June 3-7, 2011

What about those poor lactose-digestingly-challenged? Poor f*ckers.

Have some toast.

But don't cook for me. I'll stick to my normal person diet, you dribbling freak.

Dello wrote:No milk ... just water ... although some people will tell you that's how you're supposed to have porridge.

Never eat any food prepared by those people.

They're not people. They're Scots.

Mind yer heid laddie. Yer luikin fer a Glezgae kiss.

So Chef dined out on the Lankan dross? Well done him.

Brass Monkey wrote:Kin enda. Pretty tame to say the very least. It's like we're not even vying for 1st spot in the rankings. We're like Coleen Rooney, we're just happy with our lot. It's like Strauss just stole the super-top-secret Graeme Smith captaincy manual and thought it was the most ingenious thing he'd ever read. I'd imagine that Strauss doesn't even jazz up his porridge.

But even Sooky once set us 280 odd in roughly 80 overs when he had only one fully fit bowler - the ageing Pollock. We got them with two down and time to spare. Strauss has rejigged the manual.

Smith is/was one of the better captains. Balanced, not over cautious, not overly adventurous.

Red wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Kin enda. Pretty tame to say the very least. It's like we're not even vying for 1st spot in the rankings. We're like Coleen Rooney, we're just happy with our lot. It's like Strauss just stole the super-top-secret Graeme Smith captaincy manual and thought it was the most ingenious thing he'd ever read. I'd imagine that Strauss doesn't even jazz up his porridge.

But even Sooky once set us 280 odd in roughly 80 overs when he had only one fully fit bowler - the ageing Pollock. We got them with two down and time to spare. Strauss has rejigged the manual.

South Africa were 1-0 down in the series. Better to lose 2-0 nil trying to force a series draw, than going down 1-0 having not tried.

Most people praised Smith for his declaration.

doremi wrote:Smith is/was one of the better captains. Balanced, not over cautious, not overly adventurous.

Pretty much every captain these days is a 'make the game safe first, then think about trying to win it' captain. Shame.

Henry wrote:Pretty much every captain these days is a 'make the game safe first, then think about trying to win it' captain. Shame.

The trouble is that T20, and all limited overs cricket to an extent, has made captains realise that almost anything is chaseable. And to declare and lose is absolutely unthinkable, I know if an England captain declared and lost in a live series game I'd want him sent on the next plane to Libya wearing a "Gaddafi Out" T-shirt, even if he made said declaration with 9 wickets down and two players with the batting ability of Chris Martin and, er, one of the other members of Coldplay at the crease.

Also, three-match series encourage caution as well. If you're 1-0 up there's more chance of winning the series by not taking any risks. If you go 1-0 down it's very hard to recover the situation.

I wouldn't be too angry if Strauss made a brave declaration in an effort to win a game. But Sri Lanka finished over 200 runs behind the target yesterday. It wasn't even close. Strauss should have declared at least an hour earlier.

It is more about rankings nowadays than ever before, I suspect. It's doubtful being number one has meant as much, financially at least.

As for Smith, meh. I've seen plenty of examples, that I cannot recall now, that would back my point up.

Henry wrote:I wouldn't be too angry if Strauss made a brave declaration in an effort to win a game.

Let's say we're one up in the Ashes with two to play, we're in a position where we can't lose but it's probably going to be a draw, we set them 6 an over in half a day and they get it. After the inevitable innings defeat capitulation in the decider, does the captain keep his job?

It's all hypothetical - that situation, not really relative to this one. What we do know is they're prone to collapse and only had 5 batsmen. People take for granted how monumental these run chases are. Sanga showed how easy it was to get out whilst playing expansively.

What Danny said. Their main fast scoring dangerman Dilshan was injured and unlikely to bat, and their tail starts at number seven. If it was the Windies side of the 80s with Greenidge, Richards and Lloyd, then yes, Strauss would have a right to be concerned, but a fragile Sri Lankan lineup, just recently rolled for 82, and with their best batsman from the first innings crocked? Oh please.....

For Strauss to be worried that they would chase 300 in 60 overs was incredibly negative minded, all things considered. Also, if you give a team a slight sniff, they will play more shots in an effort to reach the target, and therefore give more chances. Sometimes it pays to dangle a carrot, rather than slamming a thick iron door in their face.

England bowled hopelessly in the first innings, Sri Lanka's most attacking batsman scored 190 and batted for over 2/3rds of the innings, yet their r/r was still only 3.6.

And Strauss was squitting it over setting them a rate of 6rpo.

It was poor, ultra-cautious, dour.

Yeah, I wasn't suggesting that Strauss's declaration policy yesterday was correct (although we probably wouldn't have won even with a very aggressive one), just suggesting why the majority of captains are cautious these days.

I've sometimes thought about what the impact would be of allowing declared innings to be re-opened if the other side got in front. More results, or fewer due to taking away the carrot of victory from a "chasing" team who were well behind the game?

Can we stop this bollocks about the declaration please? We bowled like a bunch of fairies in the S/L first innings. S/L had the potential to make mince meat out of any target which was more generous in terms of runs per over.

We were one nil up in the series - it's not England that needed to chase the game.

Potential my arse. As mentioned, in spite of England bowling like, as you say, fairies in the first innings and SL's most destructive batsman batting for 100 overs, they still couldn't muster more than 3.6 rpo.

With that same batsman sitting it out with a busted thumb and only four specialist bats, you think they could've ramped it up and cruised home at a breezy 5 or 6 rpo?

My arse.