Binary has a "mystery illness"

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The gist of it is that Graeme Smith has been suffering from ill health since the tour of Pakistan, and may miss the upcoming 20/20 game against the Windies, and perhaps more of the tour. No-one seems to know what is wrong with him - but it certainly isn't giving him the runs...

Not to sure about that. He is definitely giving me the runs.

Sounds like the dreaded "Man-flu"!

Whatever it is, I hope he recovers well enough to write. I've been missing his diary updates.

'Mystery illness' usually translates these days as CFS, doesn't it?.

Fred Nerk wrote:'Mystery illness' usually translates these days as CFS, doesn't it?.

What's that? Something like the yuppie flu that used to strike the young and wealthy in the nineties?

Was going to suggest the phrase meant AIDS, but that is called an "undisclosed illness" in these parts by the educated and "bewitched by the inlaws" by the less educated.

Yuppie flu my arse. It exists and it aint no joke.. It finished Richie Richardson as a cricketer and Clint Robins as an Olympic kayaker and laid out more than one very close friend of mine for 10 years and counting..

Amazing as it may seem, the tabloid whingers are full of crap.

Why is Smith called Binary?

My first guess was wrong. It's NOT bnecause these days all his scores are either 0 or 1.

Dunno. Mynah came up with it.

Hilda calls him pastor

Fred Nerk wrote:My first guess was wrong. It's NOT bnecause these days all his scores are either 0 or 1.

Uh, actually it is - but what other explanation do you have?

I don't. I looked up his cricinfo record and he's been fairly crappy for quite a while, but never that spectacularly Greg Chappell 81-82-style woeful.

Fred Nerk wrote:I don't. I looked up his cricinfo record and he's been fairly crappy for quite a while, but never that spectacularly Greg Chappell 81-82-style woeful.

Or like Keith Arthurton in the 1996 Gilly.

Two ducks, 1, two ducks. Wonder who the bowler was that conceded the run?

For the record - Arturton in the 1996 WC:

9 16/02/1996 ZIM Lal Bahadur Stadium c A Campbell b P Strang 1
10 29/02/1996 KEN Nehru Stadium (Pune) run out 0
11 04/03/1996 AUS Sawai Mansingh Stad lbw b M Waugh 0
12 11/03/1996 SAF National Stadium c A Hudson b P Adams 1
13 14/03/1996 AUS Punjab Cricket Stad c I Healy b D Fleming 0

I see I did him a serious injustice. Robbed him of half his runs for the tournament.

Smith? Admittedly his last innings in the ODI series was out of character...

Fred Nerk wrote:I don't. I looked up his cricinfo record and he's been fairly crappy for quite a while, but never that spectacularly Greg Chappell 81-82-style woeful.

Or Keith Arthurton at any time.

Forget mystery illness, it's a mystery to me how someone who never makes runs remains captain.

Is the mystery illness elephantitis of the chin?

A strange penis-like protrusion from the forehead?

The squits?

Balanitis.

Something you catch off minkis, if he's lucky.

Red wrote:Forget mystery illness, it's a mystery to me how someone who never makes runs remains captain.

Craptain, my craptain...

Aren't you ashamed Mynah to have an idiot like Smith as captain who not only never makes runs but paints the country in sucha poor light? Would Boucher be your choice as successor?

In good news for SA he's out of the two 20/20 matches to be played before the first test with van Wyk replacing him.

Now Binary's doctor is recommending a spinal tap, but he's none too keen on it. Can't say I blame him.