Re: A forum first?

[Merlin]

I know it weren't a limerick ... but I thought poetry was in vogue on here.

Okay - limerick ...

There was an old man from Kent,
Whose tool was exceedingly bent,
To save himself trouble,
He stuffed it in double,
So instead of coming, he went.

[skully]

Noice.

[freddled gruntbuggly]

I love my little Alice so,
I love her in her nightie
And when the moonlit flits
Across her tits
JEEZUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!

[tac]

I love my little Alice so,
I love her in her nightie
And when the moonlit flits
Across her tits
JEEZUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!

Christ, you destroyed that . . . get it farkin right if you're going to post something . . .

[Brass Monkey]

Wwweeeeeellllllllllll.......

Jack the tac's a bitch, he's a big fat bitch,
He's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
He's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,
He's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

On Monday he's a bitch
On Tuesday he's a bitch
On Wednesday thorough Saturday he's a bitch
Then on Sunday just to be different,
He's u super king kamehameha bitch

[Merlin]

Take your seats one and all.....
'ere we go....

[tac]

Wwweeeeeellllllllllll.......

Jack the tac's a bitch, he's a big fat bitch,
He's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
He's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,
He's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

On Monday he's a bitch
On Tuesday he's a bitch
On Wednesday thorough Saturday he's a bitch
Then on Sunday just to be different,
He's u super king kamehameha bitch

Nice . . .

[Brass Monkey]

Neh, s'just a rip-off of Cartman, Grendel's mother could've done that.

[tac]

Neh, s'just a rip-off of Cartman, Grendel's mother could've done that.

I thought she just had . . .

[eowyn]

Dan, Dan the forum man
Made a joke then he did run
Off to his Mummy in Northants
Just like he'd got ants in his pants.........

I like doing this!.

[tac]

WTF?

[Merlin]

[eowyn]

I thought we were being childish and making up non-scanning rhymes.

[Brass Monkey]

Uhhhh **tugs at collar** Yeeesssss.... :?: :|

[Merlin]

Try not to "think" if it hurts that much! ...

[freddled gruntbuggly]

I love my little Alice so,
I love her in her nightie
And when the moonlit flits
Across her tits
JEEZUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!

Christ, you destroyed that . . . get it farkin right if you're going to post something . . .

*shrugs*
That's the version I have here. If you have problems, contact the book's editors.

[taipan]

There was an old man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
Great tufts of grass
Shot out of his ar$e
And his c0ck was covered in weeds

[eowyn]

Uhhhh **tugs at collar** Yeeesssss.... :?: :|

Sorry, I'll leave quietly

[taipan]

The winner in the world limerick competition a few years back. The last word had to be Timbucktoo. The winners were Aussies as you will see......
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Me and Tim ashearing went
Found three Sheilas in a tent
They was three
They was two
So I bucked one and Timbucktoo

[Guest]

There was an old man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
Great tufts of grass
Shot out of his ar$e
And his c0ck was covered in weeds

I learnt a different version.....

There was an old man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
In less than an hour, his cock was a flower
And his balls were a mass of weeds.

Wonder if it was the same bloke?

[embee]

The winner in the world limerick competition a few years back. The last word had to be Timbucktoo. The winners were Aussies as you will see......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me and Tim ashearing went
Found three Sheilas in a tent
They was three
They was two
So I bucked one and Timbucktoo

We won ...even though it's not a limerick ...fan- ****** -tastic

[lardbucket]

Well, the alcohol-fuelled Zat attck has done it. The entire front page.

Except Dello's 'welcome' thread...

Good times.

[Zat]

Aye.

[lardbucket]

Technically, I'm still peri-menopausal.

This, from a while ago ...

There's a danger zone, not a stranger zone
Than the little plot I walk on that I call my home
Full of eerie sights, weird and skeery sights
Ev'ry vicious animal that creeps and crawls and bites!!

On the Amazon, the prophylactics prowl
On the Amazon, the hypodermics howl
On the Amazon, you'll hear a scarab scowl and sting
zodiacs on the wing

All the stalactites and vicious vertebrae
Hunt the stalagmites while laryngitis slay
All that parasites that come from Paraguay
in the spring
Hmm, hmm hmmm

Snarling equinox among the rocks will seize you
And the fahrenheit comes out at night to freeze you

Wild duodenum are lurking in the trees
And the jungle swarms with green apostrophes
Oh, the Amazon is calling me

On the Amazon, the pax vobiscum bite
On the Amazon, the epiglottis fight
On the Amazon, the hemispheres at night
all slink
where the agnostics drink

All the hippodromes that lie concealed in mud
Hunt the metronomes that live in swamp and flood
Then the kodachromes run out and drink their blood, poor ginks

While velocipedes among the weeds will scare you
And the menopause with hungry jaws ensnares you

Frenzied adenoids infest the hills and slopes
Everyone avoids the deadly stethoscopes

Oh, the Amazon is calling
Yes, the Amazon is calling
Oh, the Amazon is calling me-ee!!

... prompted this, which is quite simply the lyrics of a Don McLean song which uses many 'big words' to sound like monsters and evil threats, rather than their true meaning.

From there we got to TS Elliott, limericks, and mud-slinging.

[taipan]

Is being drunk a pre-requisite for multiple random-postings?

Drunk, or extremely bored at work.

Or suffering from PMS.

Aye, taily was in the rags a lot.

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