England v New Zealand, 1st Test, Lord's, 21-25 May 2015

Merlin wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Merlin in supporting Middx shocka. You're nothing if not consistent, Merlin.

Shame that you're a consistent prick.

SFA to do with Middlesex so why don't you climb from out of your own backside and breathe in the fresh air.
Accept the here and now and desist from the chest thumping.

Oh wait!  Chest thumping becomes you ... so carry on as you were.

I'll 'accept the here' when he starts making 'tough' decisions about people he likes.

Not things like: "Alastair Cook has my full backing to lead the side into the Ashes this summer. He has had a brutally tough last 18 months, with his own form and one-day captaincy.".

'Brutally tough'? What, as in absolutely abject batting and fielding, bolstered by some of the worst captaincy I've seen. That's the sort of player I'd 'fully back', wouldn't you? No? Oh, but he's really good friends with Cook? Oh, that's good for English cricket, isn't it? How happy you make your friend? What sort of f*cking judgement is that? Oh, he's been an absolute blight on England cricket, so I'll back him to the hilt. So far he's got rid of people he doesn't like (Moores, KP) and has tried to get in someone he does like (Langer). Smacking of cronyism to me.

You've done nothing to change my opinion that you're backing 'jolly Middlesex'. You've always been that sort of bawdy, jazz hands tosser who denies logic on the basis of his likes.

Shit, maybe you should've been director of English cricket, or whatever he is. You'd do a bang up job. Maybe dig up Jardine's bones maybe? Get him to sit at the head of the selection panel? Very doubtful indeed that, if 'Vawn' had come in and acted exactly the same, we'd be reading the same words from you. It's not your style. Your style is more 'one-eyed wanker'.

Henry wrote:Meanwhile, is anyone else reminded of Graeme Swann when Mark Craig bowls? Right up until the delivery stride.

About 350+ revs down on Swann.

Congrats to Joey RootFOHL™ on a good 98... shame for him and Stokes really. Batted well enough for the 10 runs between them for their tons.

...followed by the most insane review. Clear as day that it hit his bat. Waved off in a second.

England, saved by the least experienced members of the team. Yet the selectors remain unwilling, or unable, to embrace the younger generation in its entirety. Hopefully, Mark Wood has a good series so we can get closer to pushing Stuart Broad off a cliff.

That was a really good day of Test cricket in the end. I gave us no hope, I've been very surprised. After that giddy four got out, there's been some really positive cricket. Some really livelyish batting in two hundred partnerships.

Shit, got complacent. Buttler out to the last ball

So, probably 360 all out then given who is to come. Still at least par though.

One of the best comebacks of recent times.

The way forward for England is pretty clear. But will Strauss recognise it.

Nice day of cricket, that - once the rubbish top four got out of the way.

England scoring at 4rpo in Tests. What a time to be alive. They struggle to manage that in ODIs.

I like watching Moeen Ali bat. I like watching Jos Buttler bat. I like watching Ben Stokes bat. I like watching Joe Root bat. I don't like watching any of those other guys bat.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:I like watching Moeen Ali bat. I like watching Jos Buttler bat. I like watching Ben Stokes bat. I like watching Joe Root bat. I don't like watching any of those other guys bat.

What are you talking about? Ian Bell's scored 1001 runs in his last four innings.

No, wait, I read that wrong. 1, 0, 0, 1.

Brass Monkey wrote:

Merlin wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Merlin in supporting Middx shocka. You're nothing if not consistent, Merlin.

Shame that you're a consistent prick.

SFA to do with Middlesex so why don't you climb from out of your own backside and breathe in the fresh air.
Accept the here and now and desist from the chest thumping.

Oh wait!  Chest thumping becomes you ... so carry on as you were.

I'll 'accept the here' when he starts making 'tough' decisions about people he likes.

Not things like: "Alastair Cook has my full backing to lead the side into the Ashes this summer. He has had a brutally tough last 18 months, with his own form and one-day captaincy.".

'Brutally tough'? What, as in absolutely abject batting and fielding, bolstered by some of the worst captaincy I've seen. That's the sort of player I'd 'fully back', wouldn't you? No? Oh, but he's really good friends with Cook? Oh, that's good for English cricket, isn't it? How happy you make your friend? What sort of f*cking judgement is that? Oh, he's been an absolute blight on England cricket, so I'll back him to the hilt. So far he's got rid of people he doesn't like (Moores, KP) and has tried to get in someone he does like (Langer). Smacking of cronyism to me.

You've done nothing to change my opinion that you're backing 'jolly Middlesex'. You've always been that sort of bawdy, jazz hands tosser who denies logic on the basis of his likes.

Shit, maybe you should've been director of English cricket, or whatever he is. You'd do a bang up job. Maybe dig up Jardine's bones maybe? Get him to sit at the head of the selection panel? Very doubtful indeed that, if 'Vawn' had come in and acted exactly the same, we'd be reading the same words from you. It's not your style. Your style is more 'one-eyed wanker'.

Christ you don't 'arf go on...

I'd have said EXACTLY the same had Vawn got the gig, arseclown.
Just brush the oak tree off your shoulder FFS ... breathe in the air ... relax a tad - there's a full summer to go.
Cook I reckon has a serious problem - I suspect even Strauss would ditch him should he fail against the Kiwi's.
354 - 6 first day almost kinda vindicates Strausser - doesn't it?
Only just mind!

Dello wrote:

Chivalry Augustus wrote:I like watching Moeen Ali bat. I like watching Jos Buttler bat. I like watching Ben Stokes bat. I like watching Joe Root bat. I don't like watching any of those other guys bat.

What are you talking about? Ian Bell's scored 1001 runs in his last four innings.

No, wait, I read that wrong. 1, 0, 0, 1.

'He keeps getting jaffas'

Chivalry Augustus wrote:I like watching Moeen Ali bat. I like watching Jos Buttler bat. I like watching Ben Stokes bat. I like watching Joe Root bat. I don't like watching any of those other guys bat.

Bit soon to write off Lyth, and Ballance up until the last couple of innings has certainly been effective, even if not stylish, in his role as surrogate opener.

It's those two with 100 plus Tests to their name who need to watch their backs now...

Turned out to be a really good day of test cricket, with some good performances on both sides. Boult and Southee were very good with the new ball and Henry was loose but promising, although a bit down on pace from what we saw in the world cup I think? Still, about what you'd expect for a young fast bowler. Craig was ok but didn't look anything special, although he did trouble Root quite a bit when he looked otherwise completely serene. Don't NZ have a promising young leggie bouncing around somewhere?

Once England's top four got out the rest were pretty impressive. Seriously, though, something needs to be done about that - admittedly Lyth was in his first test match but he looked like another back foot blocker to complement an array of back foot blockers. It's setting them up to fail and I expect they'll continue to until they sort it out. Everyone in real life raves about Ballance but his game looks seriously flawed and I don't expect him to score much this summer. Cook looks completely gone; as Warne remarked, in trying to fix his game around the off stump he's compromised his only real strength at the cut and pull shots without fixing his locked front knee that would let him drive properly. His scoring options now are the streaky clip to leg and the chip in the air into the covers. A shadow of his former self.

beamer wrote:

Chivalry Augustus wrote:I like watching Moeen Ali bat. I like watching Jos Buttler bat. I like watching Ben Stokes bat. I like watching Joe Root bat. I don't like watching any of those other guys bat.

Bit soon to write off Lyth, and Ballance up until the last couple of innings has certainly been effective, even if not stylish, in his role as surrogate opener.

It's those two with 100 plus Tests to their name who need to watch their backs now...

Well given that Cook is the new Eliot Ness, where does that leave us?

Winkle Spinner wrote:Turned out to be a really good day of test cricket, with some good performances on both sides. Boult and Southee were very good with the new ball and Henry was loose but promising, although a bit down on pace from what we saw in the world cup I think? Still, about what you'd expect for a young fast bowler. Craig was ok but didn't look anything special, although he did trouble Root quite a bit when he looked otherwise completely serene. Don't NZ have a promising young leggie bouncing around somewhere?

Once England's top four got out the rest were pretty impressive. Seriously, though, something needs to be done about that - admittedly Lyth was in his first test match but he looked like another back foot blocker to complement an array of back foot blockers. It's setting them up to fail and I expect they'll continue to until they sort it out. Everyone in real life raves about Ballance but his game looks seriously flawed and I don't expect him to score much this summer. Cook looks completely gone; as Warne remarked, in trying to fix his game around the off stump he's compromised his only real strength at the cut and pull shots without fixing his locked front knee that would let him drive properly. His scoring options now are the streaky clip to leg and the chip in the air into the covers. A shadow of his former self.

All NZ bowlers were down on pace, I thought. No match practice. Will probably pick up next Test.
Lyth is actually pretty aggressive and loose. Just nerves I suppose. Ish Sodhi is the leggie and he's tonkable

Merlin wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:

Merlin wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Merlin in supporting Middx shocka. You're nothing if not consistent, Merlin.

Shame that you're a consistent prick.

SFA to do with Middlesex so why don't you climb from out of your own backside and breathe in the fresh air.
Accept the here and now and desist from the chest thumping.

Oh wait!  Chest thumping becomes you ... so carry on as you were.

I'll 'accept the here' when he starts making 'tough' decisions about people he likes.

Not things like: "Alastair Cook has my full backing to lead the side into the Ashes this summer. He has had a brutally tough last 18 months, with his own form and one-day captaincy.".

'Brutally tough'? What, as in absolutely abject batting and fielding, bolstered by some of the worst captaincy I've seen. That's the sort of player I'd 'fully back', wouldn't you? No? Oh, but he's really good friends with Cook? Oh, that's good for English cricket, isn't it? How happy you make your friend? What sort of f*cking judgement is that? Oh, he's been an absolute blight on England cricket, so I'll back him to the hilt. So far he's got rid of people he doesn't like (Moores, KP) and has tried to get in someone he does like (Langer). Smacking of cronyism to me.

You've done nothing to change my opinion that you're backing 'jolly Middlesex'. You've always been that sort of bawdy, jazz hands tosser who denies logic on the basis of his likes.

Shit, maybe you should've been director of English cricket, or whatever he is. You'd do a bang up job. Maybe dig up Jardine's bones maybe? Get him to sit at the head of the selection panel? Very doubtful indeed that, if 'Vawn' had come in and acted exactly the same, we'd be reading the same words from you. It's not your style. Your style is more 'one-eyed wanker'.

Christ you don't 'arf go on...

I'd have said EXACTLY the same had Vawn got the gig, arseclown.
Just brush the oak tree off your shoulder FFS ... breathe in the air ... relax a tad - there's a full summer to go.
Cook I reckon has a serious problem - I suspect even Strauss would ditch him should he fail against the Kiwi's.
354 - 6 first day almost kinda vindicates Strausser - doesn't it?
Only just mind!

So you think Cook did a good job today? Do you think he should be continually backed, by Strausser and co?

Vilks: you're asking merlo what he thought. I thought you were on the wagon.

Being relatively new to this forum I'm guessing that Merlin and Monkey have a bit of history. I'm perceptive like that. You two make the KP Strauss affair look like pansy stuff.

Back to the other match.

NZ's top two bowlers were below their best - unsurprisingly. Yet still they reduced us to 30-4.
I hate to think how much worse it could have been if those two had spent some time in the run-up to the match playing some tour games. And it does not bode well for the Ashes as the Aussies won't be hopping in fresh (jaded) from the IPL.

Thank fook for Root and Stokes for having the mettle to fight back. I hope that Root can manage to keep up his positive approach against Oz - because he's going to frequently be coming in at bollox all for 3 against Mitch and co. and if he gets into his foxhole then we'll be in regular strife.

NZ's bowling was kind of like watching recent Eng performances. Started out right on top, put the opposition in a real bind and felt really good about themselves. Then they had a break (even resorted to the Eng trick of half track medium pace bouncers for a bit) and just went soft for the rest of the day.

Anyway, a bouncerfest for the first few overs tomorrow morning. So let's see how the Ali shuffle and the big blonde crybaby deal with that.

And then we'll see how our bowlers go.

BBC? I like it.

Lindsay no.2 wrote:Being relatively new to this forum I'm guessing that Merlin and Monkey have a bit of history. I'm perceptive like that. You two make the KP Strauss affair look like pansy stuff.

....

Oddly enough, they were fine till you came along.

Must be the pheromones.

taipan wrote:

Henry wrote:What a shambles!

All of England's top six are back foot Charlies. The Kiwis and Aussies will bowl half volleys at us all Summer, and England's batsmen will keep nicking them to the slips.

Are there no aggressive English middle order bats that can take the fight to the opposition?

A few it would appear.

vilkrang wrote:
So you think Cook did a good job today? Do you think he should be continually backed, by Strausser and co?

Nope.....nowhere did I say that!
If you'd read my post from which you quote, you possibly would have noted that I did say...
Cook I reckon has a serious problem - I suspect even Strauss would ditch him should he fail against the Kiwi's.

Unlikely, but judging from Strausser's tenacity, and his clear intention to stamp his authority on the England team
(just as he did when captain) I wouldn't put it past him to put Chef on notice should he (Chef) not perform.

Did you see or listen to his interview on Sky over lunch today?
I suggest you do so before rattling off on the offensive.

KP is history.
Accept it.