Re: England v New Zealand, 1st Test, Lord's, 21-25 May 2015

by Merlin Thu 21 May 2015, 23:14

Lindsay no.2 wrote:Being relatively new to this forum I'm guessing that Merlin and Monkey have a bit of history. I'm perceptive like that. You two make the KP Strauss affair look like pansy stuff.

Socialist v Tory.
Northamptonshire v Middlesex.
Arseclown v Wanker

It's heavy banter - but that's all.... banter ... with the occasional pearl thrown in by the fat git from Tassie.

It's pillows at dawn ...
Monkeh has this misguided impression that I back Strausser because I'm a Middlesex supporter.
Frankly I considered his comment irritating ... but ... for my sins, I dignified it by replying.

I saw Strauss's interview on Sky and I've made my mind up.
He is a determined individual who will be good for England cricket in the long run.
Just as he was when Captain.

As for the match - great recovery by England - done in the best possible way with serious aggression.
Setting it up nicely for my visit to Mecca on Saturday, Sunday and Monday (if it gets that far!)

by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 00:10

Merlin wrote:
vilkrang wrote:
So you think Cook did a good job today? Do you think he should be continually backed, by Strausser and co?
Nope.....nowhere did I say that!
If you'd read my post from which you quote, you possibly would have noted that I did say...
Cook I reckon has a serious problem - I suspect even Strauss would ditch him should he fail against the Kiwi's.

Unlikely, but judging from Strausser's tenacity, and his clear intention to stamp his authority on the England team
(just as he did when captain) I wouldn't put it past him to put Chef on notice should he (Chef) not perform.

Did you see or listen to his interview on Sky over lunch today?
I suggest you do so before rattling off on the offensive.

KP is history.
Accept it.

Who mentioned KP? Rolling Eyes

by PeterCS Fri 22 May 2015, 00:18

Basil wrote:
taipan wrote:
Henry wrote:What a shambles!

All of England's top six are back foot Charlies. The Kiwis and Aussies will bowl half volleys at us all Summer, and England's batsmen will keep nicking them to the slips.

Are there no aggressive English middle order bats that can take the fight to the opposition?

A few it would appear.

Define: middle order.

by beamer Fri 22 May 2015, 00:22

Middle order is 4-6, I'd say... possibly with the addition of a 7 and 8 who can hold their own with the bat (average around 30 or better).

by horace Fri 22 May 2015, 02:29

seems like it was a great days cricket

by horace Fri 22 May 2015, 02:39

despite the late wicket, the points need to go England.

by skully Fri 22 May 2015, 02:44

Lordy, I forgot all about this!!

Crikey!!! 4-30 start, ay??

That Joe Root is something, isn't he?? And Ben Stokes - what a pearler (with pearly whites). Very Happy

by lardbucket Fri 22 May 2015, 03:10

Merlin wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:
Merlin wrote:
Brass Monkey wrote:Merlin in supporting Middx shocka. You're nothing if not consistent, Merlin.

Shame that you're a consistent prick.

SFA to do with Middlesex so why don't you climb from out of your own backside and breathe in the fresh air.
Accept the here and now and desist from the chest thumping.

Oh wait! Chest thumping becomes you ... so carry on as you were.

I'll 'accept the here' when he starts making 'tough' decisions about people he likes.

Not things like: "Alastair Cook has my full backing to lead the side into the Ashes this summer. He has had a brutally tough last 18 months, with his own form and one-day captaincy.".

'Brutally tough'? What, as in absolutely abject batting and fielding, bolstered by some of the worst captaincy I've seen. That's the sort of player I'd 'fully back', wouldn't you? No? Oh, but he's really good friends with Cook? Oh, that's good for English cricket, isn't it? How happy you make your friend? What sort of f*cking judgement is that? Oh, he's been an absolute blight on England cricket, so I'll back him to the hilt. So far he's got rid of people he doesn't like (Moores, KP) and has tried to get in someone he does like (Langer). Smacking of cronyism to me.

You've done nothing to change my opinion that you're backing 'jolly Middlesex'. You've always been that sort of bawdy, jazz hands tosser who denies logic on the basis of his likes.

Shit, maybe you should've been director of English cricket, or whatever he is. You'd do a bang up job. Maybe dig up Jardine's bones maybe? Get him to sit at the head of the selection panel? Very doubtful indeed that, if 'Vawn' had come in and acted exactly the same, we'd be reading the same words from you. It's not your style. Your style is more 'one-eyed wanker'.

Christ you don't 'arf go on...

I'd have said EXACTLY the same had Vawn got the gig, arseclown.
Just brush the oak tree off your shoulder FFS ... breathe in the air ... relax a tad - there's a full summer to go.
Cook I reckon has a serious problem - I suspect even Strauss would ditch him should he fail against the Kiwi's.
354 - 6 first day almost kinda vindicates Strausser - doesn't it?
Only just mind!

Logically, from your other post (top of this page), you're the wanker?

by embee Fri 22 May 2015, 03:45

explains his support of IVF

by skully Fri 22 May 2015, 05:57

Room, cup & Ribald, A? Or more comfortable surroundings?

by embee Fri 22 May 2015, 07:12

I'll give you the rundown over a beer one day , s

end result ... the best wank you'll ever have until you work out you've got to shoot it into a little cup

by skully Fri 22 May 2015, 07:38

by Brass Monkey Fri 22 May 2015, 09:33

Lindsay no.2 wrote:Being relatively new to this forum I'm guessing that Merlin and Monkey have a bit of history. I'm perceptive like that. You two make the KP Strauss affair look like pansy stuff.

Backstory: Merlin backs anything Middlesex. Doesn't matter how harmful it is, he'll back it. Has done as long as I've known him. And why not? It's jolly well jolly God's country. What?

by Guest Fri 22 May 2015, 11:23

Can't believe Broad has a massive hundred to his name or that he was being talked up as a possible number 6 at one point in his career. He wouldn't look out of place at number 11 these days.

by PeterCS Fri 22 May 2015, 11:26

horace wrote:seems like it was a great days cricket

Banishing thoughts of Australia in NZ's place and c. 125 ao ..... all the shortcomings on the England side (and also the NZ side) aside, it did in the heel of the hunt make for a spiffingly absorbingly balanced match situation.

by PeterCS Fri 22 May 2015, 11:29

@HappyVilksHappy:

Broad bats like a #12 these days.

by Nath Fri 22 May 2015, 11:35

can England take 20 wickets with their bowling lineup?

by Brass Monkey Fri 22 May 2015, 11:36

So f*cking weak. Awful. Awfully weak. He's only above *insert whoever here* and Anderson on memory. Current form suggests he should be #11. Of course, they wouldn't want to hurt him - it doesn't matter about the side - as long as no-one's feelings are hurt.

by Brass Monkey Fri 22 May 2015, 11:37

Nath wrote:can England take 20 wickets with their bowling lineup?

Depends if they bowl bouncers from the off and waste the new ball.

by Brass Monkey Fri 22 May 2015, 12:26

They haven't been bowling short - which is nice. NZ are looking pretty tight ATM though. Not as tight as this bird in my office, though. Outstanding. It actually hurts to look at her. I really want to clamber over the desks and charge at her with my bone out. But anyway, I digress.

by Red Fri 22 May 2015, 12:50

Brass Monkey wrote:They haven't been bowling short - which is nice. NZ are looking pretty tight ATM though. Not as tight as this bird in my office, though. Outstanding. It actually hurts to look at her. I really want to clamber over the desks and charge at her with my bone out. But anyway, I digress.

As subtle as a dog chasing a seagull. Smile