Re: England v Australia, 1st Test, Cardiff, 8-12 July, 2015

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:13

What a load of bull pizzle.

Trumpets and choirs out of tune, too.

"Hang on, stop the clapping everyone .... here's the Yorkshire, New South Wales and New Zealand national anthems, played on a consort of tenor kazoos and vulvuzelas. And the Zimbabwean one, with a special shout-out tooooo Misterrrrrrrrrrrr Roberrrrrrrrrrrrrt MUUUUUGAAAAAABBAYYYYYYYY."

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:14

Jontyh wrote:Thank f*ck Britt Lee has retired..

Good to see ya, mite!

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:15

Lindsay no.2 wrote:Still, on the upside, like the millennium bug scare I see that the world hasn't ended even though our Ashes clock has reached zero.

Delayed by 15 mins.

England 5-4.

by Brass Monkey Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:16

It's a sack of shit. I know our batting innings is going to be bad, but this wank-arsed Taffy eisteddfod shit is even more excruciating. Bring on the face-rape. PLEASE!

by Big Dog Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:16

Anyone noticed that Lyth bares a striking similarity to Jontyh's avatar?

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:17

Lindsay no.2 wrote:I'm so scared that we're batting first.

Last time up our strong suit (if you can call it that) was that we tended to bowl well to their top order and have them in a bit of trouble with relative frequency.

Our weakest suit was our top order batting.

Big gamble to go with that - could hand the initiative to Aus straight from the off and put us under huge pressure.

At least if we bowl and they make 500 we've got 2 days before we find out how abject our batsmen still are against seriously quick bowling.

Go and grow a pair of bull-sizers, L.

It's only cricket.

by beamer Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:18

Brass Monkey wrote:It's a sack of shit. I know our batting innings is going to be bad, but this wank-arsed Taffy eisteddfod shit is even more excruciating. Bring on the face-rape. PLEASE!

Sod that, give us a full-on opening ceremony, Olympic style... and where the fark were the Red Arrows today?

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:18

Big Dog wrote:Anyone noticed that Lyth bares a striking similarity to Jontyh's avatar?

Adam's great at the wry New York Jewish wisecracks, too.

by Lindsay no.2 Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:19

PeterCS wrote:
Lindsay no.2 wrote:I'm so scared that we're batting first.

Last time up our strong suit (if you can call it that) was that we tended to bowl well to their top order and have them in a bit of trouble with relative frequency.

Our weakest suit was our top order batting.

Big gamble to go with that - could hand the initiative to Aus straight from the off and put us under huge pressure.

At least if we bowl and they make 500 we've got 2 days before we find out how abject our batsmen still are against seriously quick bowling.

Go and grow a pair of bull-sizers, L.

It's only cricket.

First sledge of the series then? :-)

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:19

Lindsay no.2 wrote:It's Wales - home of Charlotte Church. Nuff said.

Lay off Charlotte. She's a natural treasure. And too sexy for your shirt.

by Big Dog Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:20

Wicket is dead as a DoDo.

by Brass Monkey Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:20

Big Dog wrote:Wicket is dead as a DoDo.

Welcome to Cardiff, hornswaggler.

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:21

Lindsay no.2 wrote:
PeterCS wrote:
Lindsay no.2 wrote:I'm so scared that we're batting first.

Last time up our strong suit (if you can call it that) was that we tended to bowl well to their top order and have them in a bit of trouble with relative frequency.

Our weakest suit was our top order batting.

Big gamble to go with that - could hand the initiative to Aus straight from the off and put us under huge pressure.

At least if we bowl and they make 500 we've got 2 days before we find out how abject our batsmen still are against seriously quick bowling.

Go and grow a pair of bull-sizers, L.

It's only cricket.

First sledge of the series then? :-)

One swallow doth not a summer make.

That was just a taster, mate.

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:22

Lindsay no.2 wrote:Urrrgghhh - this anthem stuff feels so out of place in cricket.

In a contact sport - such as rugby - it feels spot on to have rousing rendition to stir the blood of the players and the crowd. Anthem, kick off, collision of players - awesome.

Anthem, stroll to middle, mark out your runs, mark your guard, move the sightscreen, face first ball - awwww shit.

Well said.

(That was not a sledge.)

by Big Dog Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:23

Not quite Lyth enough

by Jontyh Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:24

There's the first..

by Lindsay no.2 Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:24

Play a bit straighter next time.

Haze almost got Cook too.

Pretty useful Ashes debut over for him.

by beamer Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:26

7 runs off it. TAYPOC.

by Lindsay no.2 Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:26

Ball's swinging nicely - glad we decided to bat. 'Cos swing bowling is definitely not our forte.

by Brass Monkey Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:28

Shit shot though. Hacky. He's better than that. I think.

by Lindsay no.2 Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:29

Are you Aussies ready for the run-rate explosion that is Cook-Ballance?

by beamer Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:30

Definitely a Nasser-influenced decision, here... putting the opposition in (especially first Test in the series) will always be seen as the "scared" option now. Maybe this decision from Cook will redress the bal(l)ance...

by Ethics? The Gall! Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:33

at least starcs second over is a bit cheaper

think that first wicket can be put down to the opening ceremony

by Big Dog Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:33

Lindsay no.2 wrote:Are you Aussies ready for the run-rate explosion that is Cook-Ballance?

We are now that Johnson is on.

by PeterCS Wed 08 Jul 2015, 11:36

I go away for 10 mins, and what 'appen?

D'OHHHH!

Delete that Yorkshire national anthem!

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