Death to the umpire!!!

I was badly sawn off this weekend, and by badly I mean rusty-fork-up-jacksie-after-massive-chili-fest badly.

Batting outside my crease, I played a back of a length delivery angled into leg stump off the full face of the bat. It brushed the top flap of my pad and trickled out onto the leg side. My partner called me through for a run as the fielding side went up in a massive appeal (including square leg, who I was chuckling at while trotting through for the easy single). Imagine my horror when I got to the non-striker's end and saw the umpire with his finger raised.

Without going into details of my reaction, let's just say that if it had been an international match, I would've been done for dissent and a lot worse a number of times over.

The ensuing investigation was interesting to say the least. My teammates in the pavilion heard the sound of bat. The square leg umpire heard the sound of bat. The keeper says he wasn't sure if there was bat or not, but thought it was too high and going down leg anyway (not that it stopped him appealing, but that's another story).

And what did the umpire in question say when I asked him about all this after the game? "You were nowhere near it. That was plumber than plumb on a plumb day. And if you don't believe me, check the scorebook."

So my question is, was pissing in his petrol tank after the game enough, or should I have laid a coil on his bonnet as well?

I am guessing you were playing against an Indian team?

Hire a hitman.

Strangely enough, it was an Indian team, with a token honky in it.

In another noteworthy incident, I played a nicely timed forward defensive stroke, with the ball coming off the full face and running swiftly over to mid-off. Again, everyone appealed as though I'd just raped their gran. The umpire said not out. Gully then asked the keeper if it was going down leg, to which the keeper (who had just finished appealing) replied, "No, he hit it."

Mate, I've had the same . . . on the last ball of the dya 1 of a 2 day game . . . so I spent the following day sledgeing the fark out the fieldsman from the boundary.

tac wrote:Mate, I've had the same . . . on the last ball of the dya 1 of a 2 day game . . . so I spent the following day sledgeing the fark out the fieldsman from the boundary.

You were clearly out.

Stop sooking

taipan wrote:

tac wrote:Mate, I've had the same . . . on the last ball of the dya 1 of a 2 day game . . . so I spent the following day sledgeing the fark out the fieldsman from the boundary.

You were clearly out.

Stop sooking

Meh . . .

I'm glad to hear Erasmus went on to enjoy such a successful international career.

Maybe Dharmasena was guesting?

What happened to Bliks? Another legend from the C4 days.