West Indies v England, 5th Test, Port of Spain, Mar 6 - 10

Yesterday:

Big_Bad_Bob wrote: Gimpy 'the Glove' McGimpster of Gimp Street, Gimpton loses England the use of the referral system less than an hour into what will be almost certainly well over a day in the field.

You're relying on a keeper with a brain to guide you on these, and it's not the first time this series that Prior has failed miserably on that count.

Another cheapest of cheaping centuries to his name too...he's looking like making his appearance at the vanguard of the thick Chavs' accession to international cricket one of some permanence. Oh joy.

Back to what I was saying earlier, England should have batted on.

There's over 3 days left in this game, and they'll be batting again if the Windies bat for (less than) 2 of them. Should have got as many as they could, and made them do all their batting as close to the end of the game as possible - when they're shattered, and the pitch is at its worst.

Yep - all of that - particularly the part referring to Prior and his dumb ass advice to his skipper on the two referrals.

Today:

1839 - WI 251-4 (74 overs)
Monty has a huge lbw shout against Nash, that's got to be close... but Umpire Tiffin is again unmoved, despite Monty bouncing up and down like Tigger on a particularly excitable day. Hawk-Eye reckons it would have hit middle and leg stump, halfway up.

Big_Bad_Bob wrote:Fookin' Tiffin.

Useless tw@t.

And you Prior you gimp, burning off the referrals yesterday.

Big_Bad_Bob wrote:Hmmm...on the backfoot, didn't spin, hit him in front off middle and off at knee height. Going on to hit middle, half way up.

FFS.

As I also said yesterday:

Big_Bad_Bob wrote:

Tiffin's ineptitude (and that's before we even take into account Harper's presence at the other end) has already proven just how critical the referral system is going to be in this game.

And we can no longer use it until the 2nd innings on a flat deck.

Scoff if you will, but it's not at all fanciful to ponder whether that might prove crucial by Tuesday evening.

Still two days to go of course, but that's already cost us over 100 runs and more than an entire session...and counting on both.

England were on a roll at that point, lots of pressure, full of confidence. It's already looking like the key moment of the game.

JKLever wrote:Cor, Bobs got a thing about Prior the size of Reds Sniff fetish

Another big session coming up... we've bowled a lot better than 251-4.

If WI get to 350-5 at the close its over g'dovers.

It's overs g'dovers.

Unforch we just don't have a good enough attack for these roads. Played Nash & Chanders though...

OP Tipping wrote:1-0 looks good

Yep, and despite the dubious tactics of preparing concrete for the rest of the series England can't really complain as I mentioned before.

An hours brainfade in Jamaica followed by the sending in of a nightwatchman in Guyana to block it for an hour with a 300+ lead and then declaring 50 runs too late.

For the next 2 tests we haven't looked like taking 10 wickets in the game, let alone an innings!

How badly is Gayle hurt? Could he bat on if required?

lardbucket wrote:How badly is Gayle hurt? Could he bat on if required?

Will only bat 'if required'.

Whatever that means.

Perhaps if the first innings lead is in doubt?

WIFAN wrote:The QPO wicket has never been a road.

Apart from the last three days. Roady roady road.

Well guess that's that... two average sides on dismal wickets. Although one side has a big expensive infrastructure behind it and the other's born out of chaos more or less.

Oh well... come May I don't just want to see pitches with a bit of grass on them, I want to see park pitches. I want to see two day test matches and I want to see batsmen with broken hands and bloody faces. Kill those run-greedy f*ck faced zombie headed batting robots I say.

Win the toss and bowl, and test the relative efficacy of the safety gear?

Eric Air Emu wrote:They haven't beaten us, they've won one test and then called off the rest of the test series.

First off, this test isn't over WI is due a collapse for the series.

Second off the pitches are similar to what it has always been. Hell the ARG was more bowler friendly this time around than it has ever been with the line running through the pitch causing it to keep low. Only Barbados was a more roadier than usual(and it has been trending in this direction in recent times). If either side had any bowling to speak of, particularly spin bowling, they would be in business on this track. Ryan Hinds confused Kevin Pieterson on the first day of a test match. That' all I need to hear to know this is not a road. If the same WI and Eng teams in 2004 played again on these pitches Eng again would have won 3-0 or at the very worst 2-0. If Eng was not expecting fairly flat pitches then they won't doing their homework.

kkf wrote: Only Barbados was a more roadier than usual

Trinidad? Considering there has been a result here for the past 10 tests and the current tally in this game is approaching 900/10 I don't think it's sooking too much to say 'called off the rest of the series' is justified! It's been desperate stuff to watch, totally non-interesting cricket played by 2 sh!thouse attacks since Jamaica.

As said above, don't blame WI one bit - they're trying to improve after a horror few years and have done so. But I also echo Toms sentiments above - I can't wait for our new season to see some sideways movement!!

This is exactly what I predicted for the corresponding series in 2004. Before it started, neither side appeared to have any bowlers to speak of, and both had decent enough batting line-ups. So a series dominated by the bat and full of high-scoring draws was a certainty, wasn't it?

Oh well, I was only five years out with my prediction...

Absolute ****** dog-shit. The only thing worse than England at the minute is Gordon ****** Brown. They can all stay in the Windies apart from Strauss, Colly and KP.

Don't agree that having a decent spinner would have overly helped either side- spinners need bounce to be effective at test level and there's nowt of that on this slow track.

But sure the Windies have deserved the win- they were far better in the live test match and showed the application needed to bat out when faced with huge totals. But crikey these last 3 tests have been hard work.

JKLever wrote:

kkf wrote: Only Barbados was a more roadier than usual

Trinidad? Considering there has been a result here for the past 10 tests and the current tally in this game is approaching 900/10 I don't think it's sooking too much to say 'called off the rest of the series' is justified! It's been desperate stuff to watch, totally non-interesting cricket played by 2 sh!thouse attacks since Jamaica.

As said above, don't blame WI one bit - they're trying to improve after a horror few years and have done so. But I also echo Toms sentiments above - I can't wait for our new season to see some sideways movement!!

I think it has more to do with the bowlers. Maybe its not a minefield like it can sometimes be but I like I said in 2004 the England attack would have knocked us over on it. Considering the WI picked a 3 man attack (2 of which are questionable picks at best) then the average runs per wicket was always going to be high in this match.

England should be troubled by the fact that their bowlers have not been noticeably more effective than those of the Windies, in this match, despite the fact that the Windies have selected a team to save the match and England should be trying to win it.

Instead of Victoria Fourth XI or Denmark, for our next discovery, we should search the Carpathians.

OP Tipping wrote:England should be troubled by the fact that their bowlers have not been noticeably more effective than those of the Windies, in this match, despite the fact that the Windies have selected a team to save the match and England should be trying to win it.

But our best bowler is Jimmy Anderson. It's par for the course. As much as we berate our batting at times at least we have individuals making hundreds.

It's actually the worst attack I can remember since some of the dross we put out in 1989. At least during most of the 90's we had Fraser/Gough/Cork/Caddick - all of whom had reasonable test careers.

Utterly sh!thouse currently, when our best pace bowler is averaging 35

They're missing Harmison...

OP Tipping wrote:They're missing Harmison...

Shit-stirrer . . .

We deserve to be poked....

Broad bowled ok, but he was trying to be the enforcer when he doesn't quite have the pace, at least not yet.

Jimmy had the good sense to have the sh1ts to avoid bowling many overs on this slightly less roadier road than Barbados.

Amjad Khan - how old is he? how much cricket has he played? - not a good advert for the county game - has pace, but not a shred of evidence that he has a brain.

Swann - let's blame the floating bone

Monty - bowled well early doors, then let himself down with some ridiculous appealing. I wouldn't complain if he had to serve a ban for that display.

Sidebottom, Hoggard, Plunkett, Tremlett, and Onions must all consider thmeselves a chance of playing in the home Tests this English summer. None of the incumbents seem secure.

What of Flintoff? A blip, or a sign that he is nearing the end of the road? Not really good enough to make the side just as a batsman, if his bowling has tapered, will he be selected?

lardbucket wrote:Sidebottom, Hoggard, Plunkett, Tremlett, and Onions must all consider thmeselves a chance of playing in the home Tests this English summer. None of the incumbents seem secure.

What of Flintoff? A blip, or a sign that he is nearing the end of the road? Not really good enough to make the side just as a batsman, if his bowling has tapered, will he be selected?

If Fred can't bowl, he can't play - end of.

Bring back Hoggy.