Sport this weekend...

Test cricket

RL semis

AFL semis

Rugby World Cup starts

Stosur in the US Open tennis

NFL starts



Seriously awesome...

Sleep gives you cancer, everyone knows that...

And i forgot to add the final episde of A Game of Thrones.

Bob* just downloaded the final episode of Suits. I reckon you'd like that JGK.

Just as well rain is forcast down here. The lawns can wait.

JGK wrote:Test cricket

RL semis

AFL semis

Rugby World Cup starts

Stosur in the US Open tennis

NFL starts



Seriously awesome...

Aye, grouse as.

Zat wrote:Bob* just downloaded the final episode of Suits. I reckon you'd like that JGK.

Are there boobies?

Big Dog wrote:Just as well rain is forcast down here. The lawns can wait.

From my email this week:

Just in case our beloved wives were unsure of the TV requirements for the next month I have printed them below ....

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancées, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in General)

These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in September/October this year...

DEAR WOMEN

List of Rules ( Please read and print them)

1. From 9 Sep to October 2011, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, the VCR and DVD are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12pmand 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about rugby than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times, and record them.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank goodness the World Cup is only every 4 years".
I am immune to these words, because after this comes the 20 Twenty World Cup, etc etc.

JGK wrote:

Zat wrote:Bob* just downloaded the final episode of Suits. I reckon you'd like that JGK.

Are there boobies?

No. But it's still worth a look. It's a very clever series set in the world of some high-flying moneyed legal types.

Bob Bobberson has no boobies??

Thanks for the "Rules" Zat. Have duly forwarded to everyone I know except my wife because that wouldn't be consistent with my personal short term objectives of being alive.

You could have said: ".... but I can make an Exception for you, m'dear.

If you are good, and the cooking passes muster, I shall consider not enforcing #11."


But no - you wimped out.

Whatever happened to the Aussie male?

JGK wrote:Thanks for the "Rules" Zat. Have duly forwarded to everyone I know except my wife because that wouldn't be consistent with my personal short term objectives of being alive.

yeah, they haven't been posted publicly in the Imperial palace, either, for the same reason.

JGK wrote:AFL semis

That's next week. Qualifying and Elimination Finals this weekend.

JGK wrote:Test cricket

RL semis

AFL semis

Rugby World Cup starts

Stosur in the US Open tennis

NFL starts



Seriously awesome...

So, just a couple of real sports on the TV then?

JKLever wrote:

So, just a couple of real sports on the TV then?

I was awash with chagrin when I opened this thread. Then I just started to feel sorry for them.

No, no I was just like them the other day.

Yay... cricket.... tiddlywinks, dressage, bowls.... Farquin A!

Aye, I certainly was relishing the bog-snorkelling myself!

Only the dubbers will hug Lever if he keeps waving his c*ck about like that

The arrogance eh MB?

Aye KB ...It's like he applied for immigration to Oz 5 years ago and he's just got word it's been accepted

huggy people cant do arrogant

I reckon that maybe Lever is misunderstood - you know, like the humble and helpful strines circa 1989-2011?

silly qunts ...wasting time being helpful when they could have been having fun being rude and arroqunt ...probably sozzies ..they really have nothing to be arrogant about (except best serial killers in oz)

Aye, I just think they had world cricket's interests at heart. They always started with the bullish "Awww, look...". They were making interviewer look. Sozzies do have Australia's cuddliest white supremacist, give them a fair go!

I must say, Lever's new Seppo-like personality doesn't suit him at all.