The Curse of the Belf

It is that barenaked homoerotic befreckled pseudo-Irish Brummie sprite whereof I speak.

Since acquiring that unlucky charm, that benighted talisboy, I don't know where's me keys, me phone, me car or me 'elf.


And it is all the fault of Monsieur Dellage. To foist the Belf on a loyal following.


Now we Bailers have all suffered long enough .........

For the love of GordonInPortsmouth, Mr Fromachev: tear down that appalling belf.

Remove that hideous icon, forthwith!!

And put in its rank, unsightly place something much better befitting a site of this standing.

I thought you meant that since Zat and Lever had it, they've both turned non-existant.

Well exactly. First absent-mindedness, then absent-bodiedness.

The Belfmuda Triangle.

I'm ploughing through like the amphetamine-based Foreign Legionnaire I am. Admirable. Totally f*cking admirable.

Fight the good fight, Mr Key, until you are free of Belfs.

Yeah, same to thou. Same to f*cking thou - Mr. Dawson.

To thee, ffs, to thee - where's yer 'kin' 16th century grammar got to?

DAWSON? That there is Cec Parkin, that is.

I always thought the Belf thing was Dello's attempt to curb postaging. He never did like us

Curse?

They’re gone, the little Malteaser-balled gremlins.

In this the direst of times in Test cricket, when only the Sheep are subject of admiration, the memory of the Belf sustains us all. I am nostalgic for the gallant Compton like knocks (grandfather) of the brisk 30s. I am wistful about the confused look on his face on being dismissed. I miss the iconic Belfs, the Dello and Mr Mon Key (not bobby the pie eater) 12 days of Zeusmas.

Above all the little Belf kept the flickering flame of Test cricket alive.

The curse of the Belf is that we’ve barely won an away Test since we dropped him (apart from the series immediately afterwards in Yarpland, where Compo and Tyrion Taylor briefly showed promise...) Coincidence?

Does make you realise what a solid batting line-up we had at the start of this decade though. We slagged off Belf, Colly, Strauss, Trott, Prior, even KP at times, and Cook in his prime. Any of those at their peak would walk into the current side and be at least the third best batsman. With both that lot and the Vaughan generation, we disparagingly referred to the way they kept their averages around 40. Now half our top order struggles to average 30.