England v India, 2nd Test, Lords, 17-21 July, 2014

Brass Monkey wrote:Broad and Anderson: apart from a couple of balls, short and/or wide. Ridiculous.

Said it before, I'll say it again: they literally can't pitch the ball up consistently. It's beyond their skillset. For some reason.

Maybe they're too grooved in the Strauss/Flower/Cook mantra of trying to keep the run rate down and boring batsmen out to change.

Yeah, they've been as bad after lunch. Our only hope is Ben Stokes, because they'll make Liam Plunkett bang it in there. Whatta joke.

Wow - Jimmy thinks banging into Dhawan is the way to go. The man is a f*cking genius. Just got slapped for four. The entire cosmos was surprised at that result.

So yeah, Stokes gets Dhawan. Top catch by Root.

My word though, Sturat Broad is bowling some indescribable filth - it is unadulterated in its idiocy and execution. Whatta prick.

Incredible. The man has gone 'full enforcer'. What a huge lamebrain - he just overtook Matthew Hoggard in the wickets column and he's bowling like he's in his 4th Test. He's one to be tolerated, until he produces a hot spell.

England have the groundstaff onside. Nice little trench he's dragging out there.

http://instagram.com/p/qoiXNtyy5T/

What is going on?????????????????????????????

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:Broad and Anderson: apart from a couple of balls, short and/or wide. Ridiculous.

Said it before, I'll say it again: they literally can't pitch the ball up consistently. It's beyond their skillset. For some reason.

Maybe they're too grooved in the Strauss/Flower/Cook mantra of trying to keep the run rate down and boring batsmen out to change.

In the afternoon Ganguly and Manjarekar were wondering about the tendency of English batsmen to go back and across to play, instead of moving forward as is supposed to be 'done' in English conditions.  Ed Smith claimed that because they played in so many different conditions, this England team has forgotten to bat in English conditions, which seem almost alien to their batsmen.

Add what you're saying and it seems that England has forgotten how to bat or bowl in England.

They'll still beat us though.

SACK KOHLI NOW!!!!

Oh phuck, Rahane gunned as gunned can be.  

That umpire's a gunned.

furriner wrote:Oh phuck, Rahane gunned as gunned can be.  

And DRS technologists across England are gutted for India.   

Why were England so delayed coming out again after tea? Creates precisely the opposite of the impression they intend to win - which is a wonderful message to send to the opposition, one another as a team, and their own supporters alike. If it's just the effects of the 30 degree+ heat, some of those old-fashioned lanyards - chilled or watered - would do that very simply. But in any case, heat is no excuse for unprofessional laxity. They should have been "up and at 'em", and using every available minute. (I thought maybe Cook had resigned, or something.)

It took Plunkett to raise their sights to where they should have been throughout the India second innings.

PeterCS wrote:

furriner wrote:Oh phuck, Rahane gunned as gunned can be.  

And DRS technologists across England are gutted for India.  

No worries, Dhoni will score a crafty double century by lunch tomorrow, declaration by tea with a lead of 400, doing the victory jig the morning after.

And if that doesn't happen, blame the ground staff johnny who obviously was ordered to tamper with the pitch by ECB, start the jet engines, declare victory, stop playing.  In any order you like.

Effigies of Giles Clarke and Al Cook.

A Northampton factory is preparing production as we speak.

They make good shoes in Northampton, let's not distract them.

We need another 200 runs to be safe seeing as there's no good spinner to bowl them out. Looking unlikely though.

We are going to lose. End of.

Another cracking day in the heat - rain stayed away after being forecast.

Prior - f**ked I'm afraid - no timing and out pulling a hook - or was it hooking a pull !!
Plunkett - great knock and excellent bowling - his ball to the K**t Kholi was an absolute beauty ...
 as was Stokes (pity about his blobs with the bat).

Jimmeh and Broadley need to lead from the front tomorrow - bowl a decent line and
PITCH THE F**KING BALL UP INVITING THE DRIVE.
All this short sh*t is wasted on some very focused batting from the Indians...

Was going to skip tomorrow - but meh, bugger it, the cricket's getting interesting, so off at the crack o dawn
with a few mates and several cans in the cool bag ...

Fingers crossed the heavy showers stay away ....

Cook will survive as captain, which considering the alternative is Bell, is probably the lesser of all evils.

Trying to look for the positives and failing.

Bruce Oxenford is basically the new Russell Tiffin.

Test Cricket, grouse as. 2 days to go and pretty even. Shirley a result one way or t'other.

[snigger]@Bannies getting bum decisions when there's no DRS.

Vijay so far much more a stumbling block than the highly touted Kohli. A lot is on Dhoni in terms of setting a decent target here. All three results still possible.

All 4 results, surely?