England's WI tour

The Aussies will be quaking in their boots

https://amp.twimg.com/v/23e667ba-b24c-4cd3-8066-88bbaa9875cc

Cheers for the video links.

On the ECB video it almost seems as if Jordan has lost his stuttering/faltering part of his run-up (but perhaps that bit is just happening out of shot).

The WI fan comments on the Ustream page seem to suggest this St Kitts team is not exactly what you'd call a good vintage. Still, it's jolly good of the WICB to bolster the confidence of our boys. And a really good move by them to not look to test our nerve early on tour, having just come off of a laughable performance in the 50 over stuff.

Is it part of the new world order (in cricketing terms at least) that countries outside of the self-appointed top three are obliged to give the respective touring top-three team (and that's a financial definition rather than talent/results) an easy ride at every given turn?

Well England are really ripping into the fearsome SK invitational bowling unit.

We're hovering just above the 3 rpo mark.

Who says we're not up with the modern approach to run-scoring.

We have regressed so much, so quickly.

Think back to Ashes 2005 where we at least understood that to have a chance of competing with Australia we needed to copy their approach to putting pressure on opposing attacks by taking it to them and getting runs on the board at a decent/fast rate.

In so doing what did that result in:

A) A series win.
B) One of the most exciting test series in recent memory - so good for crowds, TV audiences...and future audience involvement.
C) A team that had great self belief and a degree of looseness that allowed them to keep playing positively - no matter the position.

Since then it has been increasingly grim to watch. Starting off with Strauss and Flowers' cricket by numbers and taken to new depths in the last Ashes where barely a shot in anger was played.

Don't they get it - if you don't look to get in the groove of playing confident, aggressive cricket against weak opposition how in the hell do you expect to be able to turn it on against proper bowlers.

The run rate is utterly depressing, particularly with the opposition in mind.

What I loved in particular in Cook's interview the other day was the part where he said 'we've also got to make sure we're playing the right brand of cricket'.

So it seems we're actually looking to play overly timid, unimaginative, crabesque drudgery when batting. Good to know. Apparently this attack is fifth, sixth or seventh rate... So that bodes well for sterner challenges ahead.

Good to see that we take an attacking specialist opener with us and decide to play a possibly mentally fragile no. 3 ultra crab instead, to complement our technically fragile ultra crab opener.

Good, good stuff. Keep playing that 'brand of cricket', you collective of f*cking geniuses

Wow - I didn't see/hear/read that interview.

It's hilarious anyway you look at it.

I hope an interviewer pulls him up on that comment at some point soon as I can't wait to see the stuttering, bumbling f*cktard post-rationalised excuse he comes up with.

59 a/o and now 59/7. Is this a joke? Are they playing against adults?

Perhaps England's bowling attacking really is "the best in the world". David Saker was right all along...

Where do we begin to count the positives?

It must be that Ottis Gibson. What a coach. He is a genius. Quit now whilst you're ahead Ottis...please.

Paul Downton, legendary talent-spotter and sage, knew this all along. As recently quoted in The Grauniad:

“We are delighted to have secured a bowling coach of Ottis’ calibre, as he is highly respected among the fast-bowling fraternity and his knowledge and experience of local conditions will be invaluable in the Caribbean,” said the ECB managing director, Paul Downton.

On the Downtonometer ratings scale - if 'coach of his generation' = totally inept in the real world then how bad does 'highly respected' translate into a real life perspective?

Shite probably, but better than Kevin Shine

In the same way that Peter Moores is better than Ashley Giles...

A top order of Cook, Trott, and Ballance will be utterly, utterly depressing "time to put the kettle on" stuff. I'll be putting the kettle on so often, I will be thoroughly wired on caffeine for at least a week and will probably die when Cook and co are telling my body to sleep, and the abundance of caffeine in my veins is telling me to bounce off the walls. Body confusion all round.

Looking purely at the scorecard, Ballance still seems to be in no sort of nick whatsoever. A more bold selection panel might be tempted to drop him (regardless of what he did in test cricket 8 months ago) and pick Lyth to open with Cook, with Trott at three.

Brass Monkey wrote:Shite probably, but better than Kevin Shine

perhaps we could just use THE BRISTOL STOOL SCALE to rate/classify England's bowling coaches?

In the next match England will be bowling for 90 overs on one day and batting for 90 overs on another.

Would be funny (but not unexpected) if we don't manage crab our way to 300 on the batting day.

or if a day is washed out

St Kitts and Nevis Invitational XI currently 78/4. Local boys Jonathan Trott and Gary Ballance are two of the men out, but up and coming batsman, "the new Lara", some say, Jonny Bairstow is hanging in there with childhood buddy Akeem Saunders.

In no way is this a farce.  

Stuart Broad, playing for England, weirdly, has hurt his ankle and gone off.

If Broad is out of the first test it will be a relief. Apparently Mark Wood has been impressing everyone in the nets and Broad was never going to be dropped because he's 'in da club' despite being mediocre of late. 

What a frustrating career he's had when all is said and done. Has never quite been as good as he should have been.

Wood won't play ahead of Plunkett or Jordan. Anderson and Stokes are inked in for the first Test, alongside Broad and one of the previously mentioned.

Depressingly, James Tredwell is going to be the spinner. Because that's progress.

Henry wrote:If Broad is out of the first test it will be a relief. Apparently Mark Wood has been impressing everyone in the nets and Broad was never going to be dropped because he's 'in da club' despite being mediocre of late. 

What a frustrating career he's had when all is said and done. Has never quite been as good as he should have been.

Yeah, and general quntishness and being part of Cheesy's Twat Pack has diminished his legacy further. He's always been a streaky bowler, capable of running through a side on his day but looking completely unthreatening on many others. Could have been at least a modest income man's McGrath but instead he has always wanted to be an "enforcer" rather than pitching it up consistently, and he's just never quite had the pace to be a real hit the deck bowler.

As for his batting, he could have been a Test number 7, couldn't be arsed and is turning into a genuine rabbit.

Broad is a first class bell-end.

A gobby and chippy one at that.

You're right beamer that on his day he can look the real deal - but those days are few and far between.

As for his batting - once the world figured out he's got the heart of the lion (from the Wizard of Oz) then it was always going to go south. He's more like a slogging 10/11 these days.

And according to the BBC Trott appears to have got out in two ways to one ball. That's pretty good going.

'England batsman Jonathan Trott played for St Kitts, but was bowled for a duck by James Anderson, edging to slip.'

Jeremy Clarkson must have slipped into the studio and got hold of the news feed in a pisstake. I'm sure he thinks the BBC is totally incompetent.

Henry wrote:What a frustrating career he's had when all is said and done. Has never quite been as good as he should have been.

can be said about a lot of players

skully wrote:Jeremy Clarkson must have slipped into the studio and got hold of the news feed in a pisstake. I'm sure he thinks the BBC is totally incompetent.

Clarkson is doing the drizzling in his own trousers,.