Ashes 2017-2018 countdown

beamer wrote:Vince is basically Bell-lite anyway.

There's no substance known to man lighter than Ian Bell.

Vince is budget-Vaughan.

PeterCS wrote:Dello!!!!!

There IS a god ...


Good to see you in a grim time, Jay. I hope (obviously) all is well with you.

Hey, Pete. Not sure anything has ever been "well" with me, and the impending quadrennial Ashes slaughter is unlikely to raise my guts above the level of misery.

And on that upbeat bombshell - how are things, dude?

We're all still batshit crazy ... and most of us aren't even ginger.

Anyway, since our last Ashes whitewash four years ago...

England have given 21 players Test debuts.
Only one of them (Moeen Ali) has reached 20 Tests.
Only five of them are in the Ashes squad for this winter (two of whom haven't yet played a Test this year).
None have played more than three Tests and average over 35 with the bat.
None have played more than four Tests and average under 35 with the ball.
Only four of those who debuted before this year have played a Test in 2017.

I could go on...

beamer wrote:Anyway, since our last Ashes whitewash four years ago...

England have given 21 players Test debuts.
Only one of them (Moeen Ali) has reached 20 Tests.
Only five of them are in the Ashes squad for this winter (two of whom haven't yet played a Test this year).
None have played more than three Tests and average over 35 with the bat.
None have played more than four Tests and average under 35 with the ball.
Only four of those who debuted before this year have played a Test in 2017.

I could go on...

... and still the holder of the Ashes should start as raging favourites. Oz has one Test quality batsman who happens to be the most clueless and uninspiring Captain in Test Cricket. We have no wicketkeeper and a fast bowling orthopaedics ward.

It will come down to our pitches. Your batsmen break out with hives at the sight of a greentop in baking weather. Our middle order couldn't buy a run on a nything other than the roadiest of roads. And I wouldn't put horries money on that.

Bradman wrote:It will come down to our pitches. Your batsmen break out with hives at the sight of a greentop in baking weather. Our middle order couldn't buy a run on a nything other than the roadiest of roads. And I wouldn't put horries money on that.

Aye. My moths are staying securely in my wallet. Got donuts from the ex Mrs H's and the inherited kids when I advised them to plonk dosh on the Ashes series. My fave ex Mrs H gave me a clip when I mentioned I had placed a modest five moth wager against her team in the AFL Grannie.

Actually I think I'll keep the readies for anything other than football this weekend. See what sort of action people are prepared to offer around the line maybe.

Re AFL,it looks like a wet GF, so this may narrow the line.

An ordinary looking squad after many failed experiments through the English summer, plus the Stokes affair, are not ideal lead ups to the hardest tour of all for the Poms.

horace wrote:Re AFL,it looks like a wet GF, so this may narrow the line.

Well I was talking nrl. Taken something of a bath on afl this year. Though spending most of the weekend with mad punters so who knows.

skully wrote:An ordinary looking squad after many failed experiments through the English summer, plus the Stokes affair, are not ideal lead ups to the hardest tour of all for the Poms.

Hardest in terms of oldest rivalry, highest media pressure, largest & most raucous crowds (some fo the England Test grounds have been trying to match that in the last few years ... ), and of course always one of the world's top teams, on rather different pitches. All true.

But India can be tough. The heat and humidity, Carruthers. The Delhi Belly possibilities, too. And of late, the opposition. I suppose not always five Tests....

Dello wrote:

PeterCS wrote:Dello!!!!!

There IS a god ...


Good to see you in a grim time, Jay. I hope (obviously) all is well with you.

Hey, Pete. Not sure anything has ever been "well" with me, and the impending quadrennial Ashes slaughter is unlikely to raise my guts above the level of misery.

And on that upbeat bombshell - how are things, dude?

Points taken, but you've always seemed unusually sane on here, even when roused to febrile passion. Appearances can be deceptive, I suppose you might say.

Anyway, you knew what I meant.

Yes, a rinsing is far more on the cards now than it might have been a few months (a few days) ago. A crap squad selection, and then Stokes(y).

I'm as well as can be expected, thanks.

horace wrote:

beamer wrote:Anyway, since our last Ashes whitewash four years ago...

England have given 21 players Test debuts.
Only one of them (Moeen Ali) has reached 20 Tests.
Only five of them are in the Ashes squad for this winter (two of whom haven't yet played a Test this year).
None have played more than three Tests and average over 35 with the bat.
None have played more than four Tests and average under 35 with the ball.
Only four of those who debuted before this year have played a Test in 2017.

I could go on...

... and still the holder of the Ashes should start as raging favourites. Oz has one Test quality batsman who happens to be the most clueless and uninspiring Captain in Test Cricket. We have no wicketkeeper and a fast bowling orthopaedics ward.

The torch has been lit, with a WOOF .... the Reverse-Woof Olympics have started.

Incidentally ...

... and still the holder of the Ashes should start as raging favourites.

When has that been the case in the last 12 years?

Hardly ever this end thanks to the blind loyalty of our punters. TF we didn't hold them in 10/11 making test 4 day 3 that year only one of the blackest days in out recent history.

If we assume that Stokes does not travel, who replaces him? You wound actually need 2 players. In terms of bowling, Plunkett would be the nearest to a like-for-like replacement.

As for a batsman it would be Buttler for me. A more left field pick would be Morgan but only if he played some four day games for The Lions first.

I'd suggest Sangakkara.

Basil wrote:If we assume that Stokes does not travel, who replaces him? You wound actually need 2 players. In terms of bowling, Plunkett would be the nearest to a like-for-like replacement.

As for a batsman it would be Buttler for me. A more left field pick would be Morgan but only if he played some four day games for The Lions first.

Buttler has barely played a four day game this season... Morgan's barely done so in two or three years!

I'd just take an extra opener, or even not add to the squad at all at this stage and see who impresses with the Lions.

beamer wrote:

Basil wrote:If we assume that Stokes does not travel, who replaces him? You wound actually need 2 players. In terms of bowling, Plunkett would be the nearest to a like-for-like replacement.

As for a batsman it would be Buttler for me. A more left field pick would be Morgan but only if he played some four day games for The Lions first.

Buttler has barely played a four day game this season... Morgan's barely done so in two or three years!

I'd just take an extra opener, or even not add to the squad at all at this stage and see who impresses with the Lions.

At least their confidence won't be shot

It's worth remembering that the top order batting "failures" from three or four years ago were averaging in the 30s... the more recent incumbents have struggled to manage 20 in a number of cases.

If we had three batsmen who can average close to 35 in the problem spots then it wouldn't be too bad at all given the depth that follows.

Koo healing nicely

"Australia's spearhead Mitchell Starc is intent on "terrorising" England's top order in the forthcoming Ashes after the fashion of Mitchell Johnson, as he reaches the end of an injury rehabilitation far less rushed than his previous spell on the sidelines.

Following the emergence of a foot stress injury during the Test tour of India in March, Starc was placed on an expedited recovery programme to ensure his availability for the Champions Trophy in England in May, whereupon the still-healing foot was aggravated - though not re-fractured - by the rapid return. By Starc's admission, that decision followed plenty of "risk versus reward" discussions between himself, Cricket Australia medical staff and selectors, but this time around he has enjoyed more leisurely progress."

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Good to see they are getting him completely right.

skully wrote:Koo healing nicely

"Australia's spearhead Mitchell Starc is intent on "terrorising" England's top order in the forthcoming Ashes after the fashion of Mitchell Johnson, as he reaches the end of an injury rehabilitation far less rushed than his previous spell on the sidelines.

Following the emergence of a foot stress injury during the Test tour of India in March, Starc was placed on an expedited recovery programme to ensure his availability for the Champions Trophy in England in May, whereupon the still-healing foot was aggravated - though not re-fractured - by the rapid return. By Starc's admission, that decision followed plenty of "risk versus reward" discussions between himself, Cricket Australia medical staff and selectors, but this time around he has enjoyed more leisurely progress."

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Good to see they are getting him completely right.

Not so Patto who has been scrubbed for the Ashes with stress fractures.

Talk that Patto's injuries might be permanent.

Would be shame. For a Victorian, the kid can bowl.

skully wrote:Koo healing nicely

"Australia's spearhead Mitchell Starc is intent on "terrorising" England's top order in the forthcoming Ashes after the fashion of Mitchell Johnson, as he reaches the end of an injury rehabilitation far less rushed than his previous spell on the sidelines.

Following the emergence of a foot stress injury during the Test tour of India in March, Starc was placed on an expedited recovery programme to ensure his availability for the Champions Trophy in England in May, whereupon the still-healing foot was aggravated - though not re-fractured - by the rapid return. By Starc's admission, that decision followed plenty of "risk versus reward" discussions between himself, Cricket Australia medical staff and selectors, but this time around he has enjoyed more leisurely progress."

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Good to see they are getting him completely right.

2010-11 version of Johnson, please, Ned...