Australian ball tampering headlines.

For a fat man, 'boof' knows how to get out of tight situations. From racial vilifications to systematic cheating.

Must be all the slime he's covered in. Slippery.

ojitarian wrote:

beamer wrote:Anyway, at the end of Australian cricket’s Red Wedding, surprisingly there’s a Starc left standing...

Gold.

Aye. I am so going to steal that line.

JGK wrote:

ojitarian wrote:

beamer wrote:Anyway, at the end of Australian cricket’s Red Wedding, surprisingly there’s a Starc left standing...

Gold.

Aye.   I am so going to steal that line.

beams has been on fire today.

horace wrote:Yep lots of dancing on the grave of Oz cricket.

Seeing the reaction, it's more like an unmarked mass grave in Mosul...

Didn't take long ... the Barmy Army have a new ditty:

“Steve Smith is an Aussie

He wears a baggy cap

And when he saw some sticky tape

He said I’m having that...

He gave it Cameron Bancroft

Who rubbed it on the ball

Those cheating Aussie convicts

They’ll never change at all!

Oh...Davie Warner’s Aussie

He wears the baggy green

He dribbles like a caveman

His behaviour’s obscene

He’s rather fond of Candy

She gives him such a thrill

But when he offers her de Kock

She begs for Sonny Bill!”


It's right up there with "where's your caravan" to "Gyppo" Gillespie, thoughout 2005. Classy stuff.

Jeez man, I wound't half be surprised if one of these days Warner picks up a semi auto and starts unloading in all directions, I mean the pressure on him has to be immense.  He's being hammered, and all of it thus far is innuendo,  IMO.

Even by their standards that is ordinary.

It's the way of the world, furry.

Chief amongst his critics in the media is one M Vaughan, architect of 2005 reverse swing.

horace wrote:Even by their standards that is ordinary.

For the BA, it is sparkling wit.

lardbucket wrote:
...
Chief amongst his critics in the media is one M Vaughan, architect of 2005 reverse swing.

Or as the English call it, totally brilliant bowling old boy, now that we're doing it.

furriner wrote:Jeez man, I wound't half be surprised if one of these days Warner picks up a semi auto and starts unloading in all directions, I mean the pressure on him has to be immense.  He's being hammered, and all of it thus far is innuendo,  IMO.

Alcohol abuse, increased marital stress, and self harm would be the main concerns.

furriner wrote:

lardbucket wrote:
...
Chief amongst his critics in the media is one M Vaughan, architect of 2005 reverse swing.

Or as the English call it, totally brilliant bowling old boy, now that we're doing it.

Yet more GOLD.

In tribute I promise not to crack jokes about Aquacker or cheer the inclusion of Instant Karma in any Bannie team for the length of Seasick Steve's suspension.

lardbucket wrote:

furriner wrote:Jeez man, I wound't half be surprised if one of these days Warner picks up a semi auto and starts unloading in all directions, I mean the pressure on him has to be immense.  He's being hammered, and all of it thus far is innuendo,  IMO.

Alcohol abuse, increased marital stress, and self harm would be the main concerns.

Yeah I forgot he's not from the good ole USA- that'd rule out shooting up a school or your work space.

horace... wrote:
....In tribute I promise not to crack jokes about Aquacker or cheer the inclusion of Instant Karma in any Bannie team for the length of Seasick Steve's suspension.

Like that's doing us a favour.... and you know it.

skully wrote:

JGK wrote:

ojitarian wrote:

beamer wrote:Anyway, at the end of Australian cricket’s Red Wedding, surprisingly there’s a Starc left standing...

Gold.

Aye.   I am so going to steal that line.

beams has been on fire today.

One of the great things about that show is it gives you a pun/analogy for almost everything, which about 50% of people will get, and the rest it will go straight over their heads...

Jim Maxwell is saying that Warner and Smith will each have a 12 month ban.

JGK wrote:Jim Maxwell is saying that Warner and Smith will each have a 12 month ban.

confirmed with Bancroft banned for 9 months (which might as well be 12 because he misses the Aust summer).

Life's crap

lardbucket wrote:Didn't take long ... the Barmy Army have a new ditty:

“Steve Smith is an Aussie

He wears a baggy cap

And when he saw some sticky tape

He said I’m having that...

He gave it Cameron Bancroft

Who rubbed it on the ball

Those cheating Aussie convicts

They’ll never change at all!

Oh...Davie Warner’s Aussie

He wears the baggy green

He dribbles like a caveman

His behaviour’s obscene

He’s rather fond of Candy

She gives him such a thrill

But when he offers her de Kock

She begs for Sonny Bill!”


It's right up there with "where's your caravan" to "Gyppo" Gillespie, thoughout 2005. Classy stuff.

Haha, superb. I especially like the Candy bit.

So 12 and 12 for Smith and Warner and 9 for Bancroft, ay?

I wonder what this will do to Smith and Bancroft's heads. I reckon Wavy Davey will just shrug and move on.

Without Smith and Warner, do Shaun and Mitchell Marsh become Australia's best batsmen?

Geez t, as if we weren't depressed enough.

JGK wrote:

JGK wrote:Jim Maxwell is saying that Warner and Smith will each have a 12 month ban.

confirmed with Bancroft banned for 9 months (which might as well be 12 because he misses the Aust summer).

So Bancroft gets to play the second half of the Shield and possibly bat his way to Ashes 19....but Smith has stuffs hope unless he gets picked for (the latter stages of) the Pakistan trip. Is that a starter?

tricycle wrote:Without Smith and Warner, do Shaun and Mitchell Marsh become Australia's best batsmen?

Based on the home summer, they already were second and third.

Fred Nerk wrote:

JGK wrote:

JGK wrote:Jim Maxwell is saying that Warner and Smith will each have a 12 month ban.

confirmed with Bancroft banned for 9 months (which might as well be 12 because he misses the Aust summer).

So Bancroft gets to play the second half of the Shield and possibly bat his way to Ashes 19....but Smith has stuffs hope unless he gets picked for (the latter stages of) the Pakistan trip. Is that a starter?

They can play grade cricket. There might be some journey first grade bowlers in Sydney who might end up being the only way Smith and Warner can release their anger. Either way, Smith at least will make the Ashes squad you'd think.

Hopefully they'll play up near me.

By the way, Smith and Warner have also been banned from captaincy for 2 years.