New Zealand v England, 1st Test, Hamilton, 5-9th March

Hey, this Elliott fella NZ have picked is a Saffie. What a disgrace.

http://www.ecb.co.uk/england/elliott-out-to-make-his-mark,16513,EN.html

Almost as bad as playing Englishmen.

Roger Twose, what a c*nt.

Dello wrote:Hey, this Elliott fella NZ have picked is a Saffie. What a disgrace.

http://www.ecb.co.uk/england/elliott-out-to-make-his-mark,16513,EN.html

B@stards - picking someone who isn't a born and bred sheep shagger. What's the world coming to?

Eric Air Emu wrote:Almost as playing Englishmen.

Roger Twose, what a c*nt.

What made me laugh about Twose (apart from the fact that he was a Bear) was the Kiwi accent he affected after he had been over there for all of 18 months!

Basil wrote:

Eric Air Emu wrote:Almost as playing Englishmen.

Roger Twose, what a c*nt.

What made me laugh about Twose (apart from the fact that he was a Bear) was the Kiwi accent he affected after he had been over there for all of 18 months!

He's the Joss Stone of fat, crap, journeymen cricketers who used to play for Warwickshire.

Basil wrote:

Eric Air Emu wrote:Almost as playing Englishmen.

Roger Twose, what a c*nt.

What made me laugh about Twose (apart from the fact that he was a Bear) was the Kiwi accent he affected after he had been over there for all of 18 months!

We even managed to lose a series to a Sheepshagger team containing Roger Twose FFS.

(Just continuing the Poo theme of this thread)

I'll throw in my I knew a girl who caught crabs from Roger Twose anecdote because it needs a regular airing.

Who'd sleep with him anyway? He was fat and toothy (and not in a nice Natasha Bedingfield way either).

Eric Air Emu wrote:I'll throw in my I knew a girl who caught crabs from Roger Twose anecdote because it needs a regular airing.

Who'd sleep with him anyway? He was fat and toothy (and not in a nice Natasha Bedingfield way either).

And he was a Bear - all things considered, he had fark all going for him.

Roger Twose was born in Devon. No wonder he was such a clotted cream.

He was also born, apparently, in the 19th century.

Spoiler:

Dello wrote:Roger Twose was born in Devon. No wonder he was such a clotted cream.

He was also born, apparently, in the 19th century.

Spoiler:

IIRC, he's related to the Tolchard brothers.

Back-pedaling a bit, I can't believe all you big Jesses think that 2 girls 1 cup is all that bad. Unless you've seen fingerslam, you have no conception of the depths to which the internet can plummet.

I think it might feature Jimmy Anderson, though. At least, I choose to believe it's him.

Dello wrote:

Basil wrote:

Eric Air Emu wrote:Almost as playing Englishmen.

Roger Twose, what a c*nt.

What made me laugh about Twose (apart from the fact that he was a Bear) was the Kiwi accent he affected after he had been over there for all of 18 months!

He's the Joss Stone of fat, crap, journeymen cricketers who used to play for Warwickshire.

Then there was Andy Moles ...............

JKLever wrote:

furriner wrote:

JKLever wrote:

Eric Air Emu wrote:I still find cr*p vulgar, unless it's coming out of Nastasha Bedingfield that is.

Don't tell me, you've seen the 2girls1cup video too...

Only video that I never managed to get the guts to see. Read about it and that was enough.

I'm sure its fake though. Looks like Chocolate Mousee..

I've just seen it - comes flooding out like a Mr Whippy.

Whether it's real or not, the only thought I had was: your parents must be so proud...

JKLever wrote:We even managed to lose a series to a Sheepshagger team containing Roger Twose FFS.

(Just continuing the Poo theme of this thread)

Now that's funny.

Dello wrote:

Basil wrote:

Eric Air Emu wrote:Almost as playing Englishmen.

Roger Twose, what a c*nt.

What made me laugh about Twose (apart from the fact that he was a Bear) was the Kiwi accent he affected after he had been over there for all of 18 months!

He's the Joss Stone of fat, crap, journeymen cricketers who used to play for Warwickshire.

Except Joss Stone is good at something.

I will actually be in NZ this week - shame I'm not going to Hamilton though.

furriner wrote:

JKLever wrote:

Eric Air Emu wrote:I still find cr*p vulgar, unless it's coming out of Nastasha Bedingfield that is.

Don't tell me, you've seen the 2girls1cup video too...

Only video that I never managed to get the guts to see. Read about it and that was enough.

Its not as bad as the video of the depraved hick in the states using a chainsaw to de-head a pig!! Now that was just horribly wrong...

We'll get done horribly by the NZudders. In this test. Don't see us scoring enough runs TBH!

With Ambrose such an unknown quantity it could be a case of five down all out . The Kiwis usually only start batting when 5 down.

Tail's going to look horrible with Sidebottom coming in at eight.

But what can you do? England's bowlers can barely bowl - it's a bit much expecting them to be able to bat as well.

We've not had a reliable no.8 since Gashley.

Tremlett actually looked like he could do a job there, but we all know how that story ends...

Hopefully Broad's the long term answer to the number 8 problem, but it looks like they don't feel he's quite ready to be a Test regular yet. At the moment as a bowler he perhaps lacks a plan B on the days when things aren't going his way, from what I've seen in the one-day games. But I expect we'll see him at some stage in this series, given the injury record of our other bowlers recently...

just read a bit of this thread and have realised that english fans for and for all have come to terms with the abject state of their team's qualities...

horace wrote:just read a bit of this thread and have realised that english fans for and for all have come to terms with the abject state of their team's qualities...

Have you come to terms with the abject state of your grammar though Horrie?

oops...type and send without checking (obviously)...hopefully you JKL hold great hopes for an English resurgence in this test??

Not particularly