New Zealand v England, 1st Test, Hamilton, 5-9th March

there must be some grounds for optimism...eg when do you play the Bangles next?

I reckon we'll win the series. Probably because I'm not one of these cynical, jaded, thousand yard stare clowns who've suffered far too much from watching England.

beamer wrote:Hopefully Broad's the long term answer to the number 8 problem, but it looks like they don't feel he's quite ready to be a Test regular yet. At the moment as a bowler he perhaps lacks a plan B on the days when things aren't going his way, from what I've seen in the one-day games. But I expect we'll see him at some stage in this series, given the injury record of our other bowlers recently...

They're doing exactly the same thing with him that they did with Plunkett. They've convinced themselves that his batting's going to solve a problem at number eight and completely disregarded the stage his bowling development is at.

I don't think Broad the bowler is international quality at present. Shouldn't really be out there.

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:I reckon we'll win the series. Probably because I'm not one of these cynical, jaded, thousand yard stare clowns who've suffered far too much from watching England.

Bollocks have you, you're bloody 16. Which means you would have been 8 when our fortunes turned around with a win against the WI

The late 1980's is where doom and gloom was I tell thee...

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:I reckon we'll win the series. Probably because I'm not one of these cynical, jaded, thousand yard stare clowns who've suffered far too much from watching England.

I reckon we'll suck balls and lose 2-zip.

*stares into the distance, approximately one thousand yards away*

*pokes you in the eye*

And stop your bitchin' about number 8. Sidebottom is good enough to bat there. He's acquitted himself very well. He's averaging 19 and that's only a run and a bit less than Giles's 20.89.

If SideBo plays 50 tests he wont be averaging that. It'll be nearer 10.

You're as bad as beefy saying Monty could bat up the order. Our tail is sh!tehouse, let's face it.

He's not good enough to bat there. He's a number eleven (ten on a good day) who is making a reasonable fist of it so far, but is certainly swimming against the tide.

His FC average is 11. One fifty.

Glenn McGrath has two fifties...

Yeah that told him...

Well don't I feel sheepish.



I was going to argue until I read the McGrath bit. That was the equivalent of Pacino's silent scream in Godather part III.

Point well made.

Couldn't you feel sheepish in a slightly smaller way that fits on the page...?

What browser are you using? Fits on my page perfectly.

horace wrote:when do you play the Bangles next?

Just another manic monday.

Dello wrote:Tail's going to look horrible with Sidebottom coming in at eight.

Lines like that make me so glad I changed my tag when we moved . . .

Phurt, you'll always be tails to me. This Freddy the gruntsnuggler palaver is for the birds.

On the plus side Pietersen can certainly bat, Cook could have a great future ahead of him, Hoggard's a top class 3rd seamer and Collingwood can't half field.

The Kiwis on the other hand are a mediocre motley crew of ODI whores who barely merit test status... and they're still going to win 3-0 because England are soft as shite.

Still it's nearly spring and there's lots of cute furry mammals still in the world.

freddled gruntbuggly wrote:

Dello wrote:Tail's going to look horrible with Sidebottom coming in at eight.

Lines like that make me so glad I changed my tag when we moved . . .

I like your avatar of Louise Jameson. I fancied her like mad back in 1977.

Dello wrote:

beamer wrote:Hopefully Broad's the long term answer to the number 8 problem, but it looks like they don't feel he's quite ready to be a Test regular yet. At the moment as a bowler he perhaps lacks a plan B on the days when things aren't going his way, from what I've seen in the one-day games. But I expect we'll see him at some stage in this series, given the injury record of our other bowlers recently...

They're doing exactly the same thing with him that they did with Plunkett. They've convinced themselves that his batting's going to solve a problem at number eight and completely disregarded the stage his bowling development is at.

I don't think Broad the bowler is international quality at present. Shouldn't really be out there.

Well, he hasn't done badly in the one-day side on the whole. As I said though, on a bad day he can go for a fair few runs but the majority of the time he's kept it quite tight. I think he's established himself in that form of the game for a long time.

As far as being a Test bowler I'm not sure yet, whether he has the weapons to get world class batsmen out at this stage. But people complain about picking four rabbits and then the same people then complain about picking bowlers for their batting. You just can't win, unless you have 11 world-class all-rounders. And it's not as if there's any great bowlers sat at home is it... all we can do is pick players with potential and hope for the best.

beamer wrote:. all we can do is pick players with potential and hope for the best.

Agree, no great talent sat at home as an alternative.

It's either go with someone like Broad and back him, or unearth another SideBo stumbling about in county cricket.

COME ON DOWN!!! Alan Richardson!!

Has there ever been a series where there's been less to gain? If we win, it's expected and it's "only New Zealand" and if we lose, we're pretty much the worst team around and deserve every tongue lashing we get.

It's all there to lose. The only possible benefit of this series is, if we do win it, we'll have a little bit of momentum and confidence.

F*ck 'momentum'. Not a big fan of it. Being as it's a myth and all that.

There's nothing to gain, we'll either be feasting on unimaginative carrion or losing to an insipid bunch of no-hopers.

I'm really looking forward to the series though. It's real cricket played by a couple of non-sooky teams.

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:Has there ever been a series where there's been less to gain?

Anything against the Bangers?

Oooh. It's starting tonight. I thought it was tomorrow night. Great stuff. Here's hoping we win the toss.

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:Has there ever been a series where there's been less to gain? If we win, it's expected and it's "only New Zealand" and if we lose, we're pretty much the worst team around and deserve every tongue lashing we get.

It's all there to lose. The only possible benefit of this series is, if we do win it, we'll have a little bit of momentum and confidence.

They may not get much credit for winning it, but there is a lot to gain in terms of starting to recover that momentum and confidence that's been draining away from the Test side since 2005.

Beating the Kiwis away from home will certainly give England the belief in being able to roll them over on their return visit in the early summer. That would be a good stepping stone towards the bigger challenge of South Africa later in the season. Get back that winning habit then carry it into India and the Caribbean next winter, and then perhaps we can start to mention the 'A' word...

On the other hand, fail in this series and more and more questions will be asked about a number of players, including the captain himself - NZ will be fired up to repeat their success over here and the downward spiral continues. Followed by wholesale changes and the writing off of this four-year cycle.

It may not be the highest profile series but it's a pivotal one for determining the direction of this England team.

New Zealand beware: Steve Harmison's packed his "fast" shoes.