Re: things that mildly inbred people say

by LeFromage Sat 05 Mar 2011, 23:01

I adopted "How's it going?" as my default greeting, as it tended to be Sipowicz's (NYPD Blue) opening salvo. (He also pointed with his thumb a lot, but that doesn't feel natural to me). I like it. Throws people a little. The standard response is usually "erm, yeah, not too bad", which is the perfect closed statement you're looking for to a disingenuous enquiry. The last thing you want is to get into a conversation and folks don't tend to return "How's it going?" back to you, so it's a winner as far as I'm concerned.

by PeterCS Sun 06 Mar 2011, 00:28

But what if they reply: "Not bad, but to be perfectly honest with you, I'm a bit concerned about the beginning and the end of the combustion stroke. It should be simultaneously performing the intake and scavenging functions, but it could be appreciably smoother if you ask my humble but honest opinion. The whole thing's somehow lacking that strikingly high specific power - at least in a narrow range of rotation speeds - that I had been led to expect when I purchased it from my local dealer." ?

by LeFromage Sun 06 Mar 2011, 00:40

There's always risk involved with talking to people. Best avoided, if at all possible.

by Jontyh Sun 06 Mar 2011, 00:42

You should adopt an expression of utter incredulity, breathe out some air in that way that puffs out your lips and makes a faint sighing sound, whilst shaking your head in disbelief. Then walk off with the conviction of one who has far better things to do than converse with such a trainspotter..

by PeterCS Sun 06 Mar 2011, 00:55

It's those who just grin inananely, head lolling and bottom lip drooling, I fear most.

by tac Sun 06 Mar 2011, 01:05

PeterCS wrote:It's those who just grin inananely, head lolling and bottom lip drooling, I fear most.

So, you've met skully?

by skully Sun 06 Mar 2011, 01:41

I think you have me confused with your "girlfriend", taccy...

things that mildly inbred people say - Page 2 Goat3281

by PeterCS Sun 06 Mar 2011, 01:42

This could get na(nn)sty ....

by Chivalry Augustus Sun 06 Mar 2011, 16:49

OH. MY. GOD.

There is something wrong with this town. I think there is some kind of apocalyspe going on here that no-one else knows about, especially me. Yes, my earlier assertions that it was an inbred (and soulless) sh!t-heap of a sh!t-hole are very much still current, but there is something deeply wrong, an underlying disease that I have yet to identify. All that other sh!t pales into comparison to what I have just seen.

An ice-cream van!

An ICE-CREAM van.

It is about 2 degrees outside. I've had to put an extra jumper on because heating is too expensive to afford (I'd rather die). And there's an ice-cream van humming up our street, without a care in the world. To say that I am outraged and terrified at the same time is an understatement. When the four ice-cream vans pour forth in the middle of winter, the apocalypse can be but a stone's throw away.

You have been warned.

I.N.B.R.E.D. for life.

by Basil Sun 06 Mar 2011, 16:52

Alright Chiv me old mucker? How's it hanging?

by eowyn Sun 06 Mar 2011, 17:06

Gus, you do know that ice cream vans sell other things than ice cream in certain parts don't you? The jingle they play tells you what other substances they are selling...

by Chivalry Augustus Sun 06 Mar 2011, 18:57

eowyn wrote:Gus, you do know that ice cream vans sell other things than ice cream in certain parts don't you? The jingle they play tells you what other substances they are selling...

Do they? Can you interpret this one for me:

dee-de-do, dee-de-duh-do, dee-de-do, dee-duh-duh-de-do,
dee-do, dee-dee-de-do, dee-do-do-dooo, de-de-de, duh-do

It sounds ominous to me. It has a haunting cadence embedded within.

by Lara Lara Laughs Sun 06 Mar 2011, 19:44

Dello wrote:There's always risk involved with talking to people. Best avoided, if at all possible.

by PeterCS Mon 07 Mar 2011, 00:59

Chivalry Augustus wrote:
eowyn wrote:Gus, you do know that ice cream vans sell other things than ice cream in certain parts don't you? The jingle they play tells you what other substances they are selling...

Do they? Can you interpret this one for me:

dee-de-do, dee-de-duh-do, dee-de-do, dee-duh-duh-de-do,
dee-do, dee-dee-de-do, dee-do-do-dooo, de-de-de, duh-do

It sounds ominous to me. It has a haunting cadence embedded within.

You've been listening to too much Police.

by Brass Monkey Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:21

Y'or-riteyeah? Yeah? (whilst slightly bulging the eyes, nodding forward in semi-violent fits to emphasise the 'genuine' meaning of it) That is my latest greeting and I hate myself for it.

by lardbucket Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:13

The whole greeting thing is perilous; wish I could find the relevant section exploring corridor greeting etiquette in Douglas Adams' Meaning of Liff, still one of my favourite humorous books.

by Brass Monkey Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:16

Me and a mate used to laugh about the meaning of Aberystwyth: A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.

That's about all I know from that book. My dad's a fan, but I'm too busy forumming for that sort of thing. I'm all forum, apart from the abuse of my liver, lungs and serotonin.

by lardbucket Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:20

I always remember (not word for word, but you get the drift):

Hibbings: the marks made on the outside of your pocket, trying to put a pen away and missing

Lindisfarne: The smell of an empty biscuit tin

Grimsby: the bit of chewed but sticky and immovable meaty gristle that gets itself caught between your teeth and sometimes stays there for days

the corriemorrie section is the greeting section I am after ...

by Brass Monkey Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:28

I like weird shit like that, I should get on it.

(three minutes later)

Very Happy

Heh - this link has a bit of a dictionary - loving it already.

by lardbucket Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:33

Well found, that has the corridor section ...

and another favourite of mine, the Clixby

by lardbucket Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:36

ha ha, this one seems new:

EWELME (n.)
The smile bestowed on you by an air hostess.

by Brass Monkey Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:38

lardbucket wrote:Well found, that has the corridor section ...

and another favourite of mine, the Clixby

That's almost a classic lardos-type thought out word.

Ditherington and Dogdyke are two of my favourites so far.

by lardbucket Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:40

the book has been a major influence

by Brass Monkey Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:51

I can understand why.

by lardbucket Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:51

AINDERBY QUERNHOW (n.)
One who continually bemoans the 'loss' of the word 'g*y' to the English language, even though they had never used the word in any context at all until they started complaining that they couldn't use it any more.

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