India A vs England

When Booth seems to find 2 balls of Pathan's worth noting in the whole session, one knows it's a shit bowling effort. Not that anything else can be expected of this lot.

At least some things stay the same

Trott is out - he stayed back to an off-break from Raina, and is bowled.

ashwin must be jerking off

oh god. i decided to see the twitter feed next to the scorecard as you do and now i'm scared

Shane Warne @warne888
Have decided to take a leaf out of @ElizabethHurley's book & have a bath with lots of EH's fancy oils... Must admit its very relaxing Xx

Pitersen out to Yuvraj. 23 for him

Bell succeeds


in getting off the mark and then getting out to Yuvraj. Edging to slip. 5 for him.

Remember when Shane Warne had male genitalia? Now he's just Ian Bell with a perma-tan and body make-up.

They had to run dry after a while.

Brass Monkey wrote:Remember when Shane Warne had male genitalia? Now he's just Ian Bell with a perma-tan and body make-up.

Don't think we ever thought he would become a waxworks curiosity.

That's not wax, it's the "gaunt" effect of the constant workouts with Liz.

Good to see the Poms lowering expectations just a bit further.

A sort of flanneled foolish limbo. Where's Booker T when you need him?

Chef reaches his century. Fat Sam surely number 6 now.

PeterCS wrote:Good to see the Poms lowering expectations just a bit further.

A sort of flanneled foolish limbo. Where's Booker T when you need him?

SUCKA!

So, Fat Sam secures the number six spot. Not that anything matters, considering India has abstained from spinners until the first test, when England will face 5948 of them, with countless whiny voiced little girls around the bat, ooing and aahhhing every time a shot is played by an English batsman.

Matt Prior isn't Indian.

tricycle wrote:Matt Prior Wade isn't Indian.

Fixeth.

Matt Wade isn't an earthling. He's from the same planet as Nayan Mongia.

Patel 86 - India A bowling underarm?

We might as well with that bowling line up.

Patel's not the worst batsman in CC. People do him a little bit of a disservice. Saying that, one wonders where in the pecking order would he be without his 'spinning'. Saying that, who the f*ck else is there? Must admit, I'm underwhelmed by Root - pretty shots but too untested for me - four tons in his career. Last year he got an amazing ton, but that fatted up what was a relatively sparse season for him. Jimmy T - hmmmmmmmm. Not saying he did shitloads wrong, especially considering all the girly girls around him, but he didn't do much right either. Jonny B? Hasn't got a clue. Who next?

"Word" on the "street" is that Andy Flower, having had a good look at Wee Jimmy T up close, doesn't think he's technically up to standard.

So, yeah, why not Fat Pat? Aside from the Bellfohl, pretty much everyone else has been a pile of old monkey spunk at six, so it's not like we're losing anything by giving the rotund plodder a game.

Prolly be:

Captain Cook
Compton the Lesser
Trott the Trench
Piet the Sen
Bell the Nadless
Fat the Pat
Prior the... keeper (I don't know why I've locked myself into this...)
T-Bres
Broad the Enforcer
Swann the Notasgoodasheusedtobe
Jammy Dobber

Bat to 10, five bowlers, grind it out and hope. That's all we've got.

Basil wrote:Patel 86 - India A bowling underarm?

They were bowling him dietary guidelines - no wonder he was smashing them away to all parts.

Dello wrote:
They were bowling him dietary guidelines - no wonder he was smashing them away to all parts.

You f*cker.

As for England, you know what they're like - they aren't going to drop lil Jonny B after the whole last Test performance thing. So who's missing out? May be KP, for all we know.