Monty's pissed off

And unleashes it on bouncers. But didn't expect him to be flashing in the gay pride parade
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I thought your first sentence meant he had been hooking sixes off fast bowling.

"You're in deep trouble, sunshine," the PC remarked.



I can imagine Monty is a heavily frustrated individual at the mo. Not an excuse for golden showers, but I feel his pain.

A 90 quid fine, is it normal for such an offence? How much for defecating on another person?

Quite a few brown ones, I'd have thought.

Aren't Sikhs meant to be able to drink their urine?

Or is that some other Subi racial stereotype that I am thinking of?

I think everyone is ABLE to drink their own pee.

And people do, in extremis.


But it's like the saying:

KNOWLEDGE is understanding that a tomato is a fruit.
WISDOM is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad.

Actually I am pretty sure my gag reflex makes it impossible for me.

It depends on whether it's hyper or hypotonic, I guess.

better to be pissed off than pissed on

I love the "After realising what had happened" part because it infers that it took a few seconds for the bouncers to realise what he was doing...which would be pretty obvious you would think

PeterCS wrote:I thought your first sentence meant he had been hooking sixes off fast bowling.

BBC headline was Monty Panesar "urinated on bouncers". I thought that's a novel technique for playing short-pitched bowling...

Never realised he had any issues of this sort, was thinking I vaguely remembered some sort of driving offence last year but that was Chavi Flops... and obviously his chief spin rival had the infamous "cat under the floorboards" incident.

Seems these cricketers are just a bunch of pissheads. Just like those bouncers, if you take the term more literally...

I am actually shocked by this story. I used to like Panesar, but this (the harassment as well as the urination) is just pathetic. A million times worse than what Warner did.

Gary 111 wrote:I am actually shocked by this story. I used to like Panesar, but this (the harassment as well as the urination) is just pathetic. A million times worse than what Warner did.

Yeah, the harassment bit is far worse than the p1ssing on the bouncers - he's in a spot of bother methinks.

This is not surprising at all (to me anyway).

I ran into Monty outside a pub in Newtown a couple of years ago. He was out on the town with Mike Whitney. They'd both just been ejected for being absolutely off their face. Monty was carrying on like a knob.

Admittedly, he wasn't as bad as Whitney who looked like something out of a Zombie flick. He was clearly on something.

Simon Kerrigan's taking stacks of wickets whilst Monty has had a pretty ordinary season. Kerrigan is a pretty good fielder as well.

Not a great time for Monty to be acting like a twat.

What a dick.

I thought Panesar was teetotal due to his religion? I remember reading in an autobiography (can't remember whose) that he didn't drink, or at least he didn't when he first got into the England team.

I don't think the Sikh religion has any prohibition of alcohol, although I'd imagine drunkenness would be less culturally accepted than it generally is in Western society.

I suspect it's probably a sign of other problems, he doesn't need cricket to abandon him now as there's the risk of a downward spiral. Cricket has already had to confront the drink and drugs issue in recent years and this is another gentle reminder... can't see them taking him on tour this winter though, so James "one wicket" Tredwell will no doubt be backup for Swann.

Monty should come down under. He'd walk into our test side as a spinner. If he floats in on a leaky boat from Indonesia, we can rush his citizenship through with indecent haste & he'll be playing in the next Ashes.

Of course, he might need to change his name to Bruce Panasar but he'd fit right in with the other yobs in our side like Warner.

If one incident can have a permanent impact on a player's reputation, and be a longterm source for sledging, like 'Bourbon and Beefsteak', or 'Underarm Trev', then pissing form a balcony is bound to be remembered and mentioned for years to come.

'Just that one time I pissed on patrons at a nightclub, just that once' said Monty 'Geyser' Panesar. Call up Old Faithful to augment Swann, cry the Aussie papers. Yes, Monty's prayers answered ... Urine the side again, Mont! Excited, he could not contain himself, is Monty the subcontinent spinner?, etc, etc

Perhaps he should just be nicknamed Peel, in honour of a former England spinner and his exploits on the pitch.

Well, if we want to "piss all over" the Aussies he has to be in the side I guess...

Peace offering?

Basil wrote:

Gary 111 wrote:I am actually shocked by this story. I used to like Panesar, but this (the harassment as well as the urination) is just pathetic. A million times worse than what Warner did.

Yeah, the harassment bit is far worse than the p1ssing on the bouncers - he's in a spot of bother methinks.

He's turning out to be a super qunt.

Neil D wrote:...............

I thought Panesar was teetotal due to his religion?....

I dunno what their religion says about drinking, but Sikhs drink and drink copiously. I'd warrant that in India they're as, if not a hell of a lot more, enthusiastic drinkers than any other community.

It's smoking you're thinking of, which I believe is prohibited by their religion.

JGK wrote:Aren't Sikhs meant to be able to drink their urine?

.......

Yeah right, it's the first line of the Guru Granth Sahib, "The first man took his own water and so was blessed for all eternity".

furriner wrote:

Basil wrote:

Gary 111 wrote:I am actually shocked by this story. I used to like Panesar, but this (the harassment as well as the urination) is just pathetic. A million times worse than what Warner did.

Yeah, the harassment bit is far worse than the p1ssing on the bouncers - he's in a spot of bother methinks.

He's turning out to be a super qunt.

Neil D wrote:...............

I thought Panesar was teetotal due to his religion?....

I dunno what their religion says about drinking, but Sikhs drink and drink copiously.  I'd warrant that in India they're as, if not a hell of a lot more, enthusiastic drinkers than any other community.

It's smoking you're thinking of, which I believe is prohibited by their religion.

JGK wrote:Aren't Sikhs meant to be able to drink their urine?

.......

Yeah right, it's the first line of the Guru Granth Sahib,  "The first man took his own water and so was blessed for all eternity".

Monty! Urine big trouble man!

Here's video of the incident. Apparently Rory Hamilton-Brown was also involved. He was the late Tom Maynard's club buddy as well.

Apparently Sussex want to sack Monty, which means he will be in a race against time to find a County if he wants to be picked for the Ashes tour, as ECB rules state that a player has to be affiliated with a County in order to be picked for England.

It's a long time since he was England's golden boy - perhaps he wanted to give the selectors a reminder.